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Original poster

Dating Thread 208 - sausage fest summer

991 replies

Dancerinthemoonlight · 23/07/2021 11:56

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. Know your worth.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MayEye · 04/08/2021 21:55

Misty take care, closure is good but it still hurts like hell

BelladiMamma · 04/08/2021 22:01

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I know I'll find the right person. It just might take me a bit longer. I'm just more chilled about it now. I still think about my ex sometimes, I think I always will think about him, but it's getting less and less now ❤️
That's a nice attitude to have. Sorry you still think about your ex. I think we all have someone who pops up in our head more than they're welcome there
MayEye · 04/08/2021 22:04

I’m still feeling sad about Mr TG and totally second guessing how I ended things. I essentially dumped him by text and I feel awful. Then I remember that he had disappeared for weeks so maybe he had already decided to end things and ghost me. I’ll never know and it stings so much.

But I’m moving on, having a chat with others, will see how things go re meeting

BelladiMamma · 04/08/2021 22:08

@MayEye

I’m still feeling sad about Mr TG and totally second guessing how I ended things. I essentially dumped him by text and I feel awful. Then I remember that he had disappeared for weeks so maybe he had already decided to end things and ghost me. I’ll never know and it stings so much.

But I’m moving on, having a chat with others, will see how things go re meeting

Good luck 🤞🏽 with the chats. It only takes one decent match. Xx
SpringlikeBunk · 04/08/2021 22:44

Flowers @Misty9
Good for you for picking your boundary and sticking with it - I’m
not that into lots of communication but it’s really dehumanising feeling you’re connected and intimate with someone then they’re just like “out of sight, out of mind”. I think you’ll be happier long term letting him go.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 04/08/2021 22:45

@BelladiMamma thank you 😘 I think it's because I did really love him and we talked about having a family and everything ❤️ it's that I think about most to be honest 💕

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 04/08/2021 22:46

Sometimes I worry I'll leave it too late to start a family ❤️

ActonSquirrel · 04/08/2021 22:53

[quote Misty9]@Dee03 I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and judge based on his comms from now on.

So Mr Blue Eyes just left. Essentially he wants me but doesn't want to give what a relationship needs. To anyone. I said if someone wants something enough then they make it work. So that's done. I feel a bit bruised and weary of the process, so won't be back on the apps anytime soon. I'm just tired of it all.[/quote]
Oh no. That's rubbish 🗑😒
Flowers

Languidleopard · 04/08/2021 22:54

[quote Misty9]@Dee03 I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and judge based on his comms from now on.

So Mr Blue Eyes just left. Essentially he wants me but doesn't want to give what a relationship needs. To anyone. I said if someone wants something enough then they make it work. So that's done. I feel a bit bruised and weary of the process, so won't be back on the apps anytime soon. I'm just tired of it all.[/quote]
Sending you a virtual hug @Misty9. I'm sorry you didn't get the outcome you wanted with Mr Blue Eyes. What stands out here is that he doesn't want to (can't?) give what a relationship needs. To anybody. This is about him not you...

Original poster
Dancerinthemoonlight · 04/08/2021 23:10

I am shocked in a good way with my date 0 on Friday. He is coming sort of half way ish. He gave me his train line and asked me to pick where to meet from a certain station down. He has booked a table at a cocktail bar and paid the table deposit. Didn't mention it to me, just sent me a screenshot of the booking confirmation.

I have a few other nice chats on the go aswell. There might be a few more date 0's on the cards.

OP posts:
Languidleopard · 04/08/2021 23:20

A quick update on my zero date with Mr Deep.

He said on his bio that he was 6 feet tall but he was roughly the same height as me when we were standing next to each other. I'm 5.7 and I was wearing trainers.

When I checked his bio back at home he also said he works out "frequently". He had a clearly defined spare tire.

Who is shallow here, me or him 😆?

I have no issue with the working out regularly lie. My exh was always a bit over weight and never did any exercise, but was completely irresistible. However, it's the fact that he lied about it. It makes me wonder what else he's fibbing about.

The height thing is more of an issue. I love wearing heels and there's something about a tall man that really does it for me. He also had small hands...sorry, that definitely is me being shallow, but honestly, that matters to me - I know what I like!

He seemed like a genuinely lovely bloke (lies aside) and the conversation flowed easily. But neither of us was flirting. At all. It felt like catching up with a mate or colleague. I was relaxed and had a nice time. But nothing doing romantically.

OnwardsEverStridingOnwards · 04/08/2021 23:20

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I am shocked in a good way with my date 0 on Friday. He is coming sort of half way ish. He gave me his train line and asked me to pick where to meet from a certain station down. He has booked a table at a cocktail bar and paid the table deposit. Didn't mention it to me, just sent me a screenshot of the booking confirmation.

I have a few other nice chats on the go aswell. There might be a few more date 0's on the cards.

@Dancerinthemoonlight 👍🏻❤️
ActonSquirrel · 04/08/2021 23:23

When I checked his bio back at home he also said he works out "frequently". He had a clearly defined spare tire.

I work about frequently. Several times a week frequently. I have a bit of a fat roll if I slouch. Definitely wobble in the thigh and butt area.

I'm not toned from head foot. He didn't necessarily lie to you.

Bbub · 04/08/2021 23:34

@Languidleopard
Sounds like there was no chemistry there. Not surprised after such bare faced cheek to pretend to be 6ft. He could work out and still have the spare tyre I suppose, but lying about the height thing is just so bizarre.

Did you call him out?

WeWantTheFinestWines · 04/08/2021 23:38

@ActonSquirrel

When I checked his bio back at home he also said he works out "frequently". He had a clearly defined spare tire.

I work about frequently. Several times a week frequently. I have a bit of a fat roll if I slouch. Definitely wobble in the thigh and butt area.

I'm not toned from head foot. He didn't necessarily lie to you.

A bit of fat roll when slouching is different from a clearly defined spare tyre though isn't it? And why mention working out unless it's meant to convey that you're in shape? Which it sounds like he isn't. And he lied about his height. I'm with you on this squirrel - if not lying outright, he was presenting himself in a way that he couldn't live up to in real life.
WeWantTheFinestWines · 04/08/2021 23:40

Sorry it was leopard who went on a date with Michelin man, not squirrel. Wrong animal...

Languidleopard · 04/08/2021 23:47

@ActonSquirrel

When I checked his bio back at home he also said he works out "frequently". He had a clearly defined spare tire.

I work about frequently. Several times a week frequently. I have a bit of a fat roll if I slouch. Definitely wobble in the thigh and butt area.

I'm not toned from head foot. He didn't necessarily lie to you.

Sorry, this guy does not work out at all...I actually don't like muscly guys tbh. It's the lying about it that bugged me. He was trying to pretend he was something he isn't.
SpringlikeBunk · 04/08/2021 23:50

5’7 to 6’ is ridiculous Shock

That’s the issue with the apps - either the guys are pretending to be someone they’re not

or if they’re “reasonably” ok then they expect as a reward you to send photos of your cervix and agree to a home first meet to get the date Hmm

Languidleopard · 04/08/2021 23:52

[quote Bbub]@Languidleopard
Sounds like there was no chemistry there. Not surprised after such bare faced cheek to pretend to be 6ft. He could work out and still have the spare tyre I suppose, but lying about the height thing is just so bizarre.

Did you call him out?[/quote]
Ha ha, my daughter (5.9, a teenager and very sensitive about her own height) asked me the same thing 😆

I did not call him on it. Do you think I should have? I felt a bit blind sided by it.

To give some context I don't work out and I'm an average looking middle aged woman - but honest about it. I am quite tall though 🙂

Languidleopard · 04/08/2021 23:56

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Sorry it was leopard who went on a date with Michelin man, not squirrel. Wrong animal...
🤣 Yes, I feel like I was catfished in a very mild, unthreatening way. Shame really as he seemed like a good bloke.
Languidleopard · 04/08/2021 23:59

@SpringlikeBunk

5’7 to 6’ is ridiculous Shock

That’s the issue with the apps - either the guys are pretending to be someone they’re not

or if they’re “reasonably” ok then they expect as a reward you to send photos of your cervix and agree to a home first meet to get the date Hmm

Yep, it feels like it's pretty grim out there tbh.
VanGoghsDog · 05/08/2021 00:09

I'm 5'7" and I don't think I'm "quite tall" - am I?

Anyway, MrWG and I seem to have fallen into a sexting FWB type arrangement - he's due here tomorrow afternoon. I just hope I can keep my head and keep the feelz at bay.

MrBee is away for a while, as am I, so I can't see him until next week but he's not mentioned meeting again. If we do, I think it's time for a proper dinner, without his dog!

SpringlikeBunk · 05/08/2021 01:11

Thinking forward (I enjoy overanalysing/planning my dating campaign more than I do actually dating - oh the ASD joy Grin!) I wonder if having video chats before meeting is something to keep in the bag?

Can filter out catfishes and bad conversations.

I expect with the COVID restrictions most people now consider it more the "norm" to schedule in a video meet.

ActonSquirrel · 05/08/2021 06:14

The height combined with size of spare tyre I suppose he is an effing liar

Shayelle2009 · 05/08/2021 07:31

I have found so many men lie about their height. Do they actually believe they are the height they state? Do they think we’re not going to notice? 😂

I’m sorry @Misty9 it didn't work out with your iron. I’m also 40 and wonder if I’ll be on my own forever. Don’t get why it is sooooo hard to meet someone decent. I’m so wary of men now though (especially ones on apps) that it might be that I’m over cautious and don’t give anyone a chance anymore, through self defence and fear.

@Dancerinthemoonlight that’s nice your date zero’s taken the initiative and made a booking!! Sonething to look forward to! Hope he’s a good one 🙂

@Eesha hope you're having a nice holiday!!