Red flags…. Here’s mine

[Anon778833]

I’m spectacularly naive. But I wanted to impart some ‘knowledge’ I have acquired re: dating. Men (because I don’t date women) who change your name to some schmaltzy nickname on FB messenger ALWAYS turn out to be more full of shit than a music festival loo. You have been warned!! ⚠️

Traditional.
Bicycle and lyrca.

My boyfriend texts me “morning beautiful “ lol. I love it. To be fair I know it’s not the same as randoms on dating sites saying it

Anyone with a 'mental' ex.

They're either lying or they're the one who drove her crazy.

@ohfook

Anyone with a 'mental' ex.

They're either lying or they're the one who drove her crazy.

I've never known a man to say he has a mental ex. I've only ever known them say all their exes were mental…

I worked with a man who had three ex wives - all of them were 'nuts', his ex-ex girlfriend was crazy, his ex girlfriend was a fucking nightmare, really batshit and his current girlfriend was a loon and he was going to dump her after christmas/after her birthday/after their holiday (when someone better came along). Just from working with him, I'd bet a good amount of money that none of them where mental/loony/crazy.

'Mr Nice Guy'

He's too nice for his own good

Narcissist

If they make a big fuss of getting out their wallet to pay.
If they “joke” about a threesome when they discover you are bi.
If they are too into hearing details of women you’ve dated.
If they get really drunk on a date (not always a dealbreaker but can be a sign of either a problem drinker or someone quite immature).
If they insist on ordering for me at a restaurant.
If they apologize for swearing.
If they distinguish between women and ladies ie ‘yeah but you wouldn’t do that your a proper lady.’

@Peoniesandpeaches

Have you really had someone try to order for you? What would they have been thinking that they'd know what another adult would feel like eating at that time more than the recipient? Red flag or gold medal winner at the Olympic group synchronised red flag waving championship?

The one that always strikes me with terror (from reading horro stories on MN) is "You can trust me". They always seem to turn out to be nutcases in some way or other.

“You don’t want to get mixed up with me, my life isn’t a mess”

If ONLY I’d heard the adage about believing people when they tell you who they are!

Also, whose fault was it that his life was a mess?? Give you one guess and it wasn’t any of his three ex wives....

*sorry that should have read “my life IS a mess”!

"I'll look after you" fuck off I can look after myself

"Women never appreciate the nice guys" how would you know you're a sexist pig

"Are you playing hard to get 😉" no I am hard to get, and you definitely aren't getting any

When they say they're different to other men

@Badhabits1

No friends

Bit of a tricky one. Some people, just don't have friends for variety of reasons (anti social working hours, being new to area, being on a low income etc). And don't forget, it's harder to make friends the older you get. Friendlessness is becoming more of a social issue.

men holding fish in their photos

Not sure if women's dating profile pics reflect the same but many mens refkect such an utter lack of grasp of what someone of the opposite sex would be impressed by;

• holding giant fish by gills
• cycling
• drinking (and looking fairly drunk)
• ex very obviously cut out or painted out of pic
• pic with promo girl/s (doesn't know them, forces to stand for pic and smile for work)
• doped exotic animals
• occasionally you'll see them with half a dozen women, presumably trying to show women like & trust them; I just wonder "why ate none of them interested in you?"
• cynically used child (their own or someone else's) presumably xause they think women's knickers drop if they're thought to be good with kids
• very prominent pets, or even only their pet (useful if it's a dog rescue site, not a human dating site).

Mansplainers. I was once on a first date and he was asking about my work. I told him and he proceeded to explain my own job back to me for no apparent reason whatsoever.

The only absolutely fool proof red flag to which I have never once found an exception is a signet ring worn on the pinky finger. Don’t even enter a conversation with a man who is wearing one.

But the piece de resistance is the straight on, unsmiling, miserable, serial killer mug shot.

being on a low income

Eh?

Tramps hang out together and they have rather low income.

Low income has never stopped someone lying on someone else's sofa chatting, or drinking cheap carry out, or going for a walk or..

When they claim they are separated but are still living with their wife and kids

1. It's too soon for him to be dating
2. Does the wife know they are separated?

Lying.

Mr "old school" also lied about his age (not by much, I didn't even know why he bothered but he obviously thought the two or three years made a difference) .... I dismissed it and even thought indulgently ot was rather sweet and down to insecurity.

He was consistently dishonest about lots of things and v immature through the relationship.

‘I love you’
‘My ex wife is mental’ (she wasn’t)
‘I only wanted one kid,and I got her pregnant,but I took her other two on-I’m nice like that-I pay her loads in maintenance’ (£30 a week-and he’d withhold it if she upset him)
‘I really want to divorce my ex’ well sign the bloody papers then
‘I love treating a lady’ turned out to be the biggest tightarse going
‘You’ll have to meet my mate’ (met him,he had a creepy vibe)
‘Oh yes,he’s the sort of bloke who thinks he has sexual rights over every woman’s body-don’t worry tho-he’s harmless’
Harmless my arse-4women had accused him of rape-4 times he was found not guilty
‘He’s misunderstood-and they where mental liars’ (they are still friends)

All the same bloke-next time somebody shows me what they are like,I’m gonna believe them and run
I wasted 3 years on this Prince among men-I was the last in a string of ‘mental liars’
I pity the poor sod he ended up with and is still with to this day

Asking for your number soon as you've introduced yourself, I like to build up a bit of good conversation first, the pushy ones to WhatsApp quickly or Snapchat normally don't have the best intentions.

@DefinitelyNotAHastyNameChange
My late husband also felt that any man wearing ring on the pinkie finger was just not to be trusted. He was normally such an easy going tolerant, live and let live kinda man until it came to pinkie ring wearers.

Their ex won’t let them see their children. I know there are probably exceptions, but in general these men have done something so awful their exes don’t trust them with their children. I wouldn’t take the gamble again having discovered that in my case he was violent and his ex almost certainly was keeping him away from the kids for their own safety.

@Pogacar so, how did you meet my ex? 😂