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Original poster

Dh says he wants me to leave his house

228 replies

CarolinaMina · 12/07/2021 10:29

Need some urgent advice please because I have no idea what to do.

Dh and I have been married for 10 years but have only started living together since last November. There’s a whole load of reasons for this - mainly distance as he moved away for work. Me and 3 dc (our joint dc) moved in with him in a November due to COVID but it became apparent quite quickly he was not happy with this. It’s become almost unbearable the last few weeks and last week he said he wants me and dc to move out and that he can’t live with us. Every day since he’s asking me several times a day if I’ve found somewhere to live yet. I genuinely don’t have any money for a deposit for a flat. When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit. I do work part time in the evenings, with the potential to do more hours. I have no savings.

I don’t even know where to start with finding somewhere for us with no money for a deposit. Will the council help me? We moved into his home that he owns. Everything is in his names, the mortgage, all bills. He’s this morning written me a formal notice of eviction.

Does anyone know if I have a legal leg to stand on or any information on if the council will house me?

Im sorry I’m really, real,y stressed right now and feel like I’m breaking down. I just don’t know what to do and as a result, I’m doing nothing. I feel I’m a daze

OP posts:
YeokensYegg · 12/07/2021 10:35

See a solicitor right away without him knowing. You're entitled to at least 50% plus maintenance.
He can't evict you either.

malteserheist · 12/07/2021 10:36

What does it say about eligibility for council housing on your council's website? It should set out who is eligible, how to apply to join the housing register, how to bid, what to do if you are at risk of homelessness.

Speaking to a (divorce) solicitor would probably be sensible.

Ihaveoflate · 12/07/2021 10:37

You are married so the house is a joint asset. Don't go anywhere and tell him to leave instead. Then get legal advice.

Whydidimarryhim · 12/07/2021 10:38

Hi op I’m sorry this is happening to you.
You need legal advice from a solicitor.
Do not move out.
Do not move out.
You are married so you have some entitlement.
Some solicitors offer half hours free advice.
Phone up a few.
Maybe post on the legal board here too.
He’s a bastard to treat you like this.
You also need to gather evidence about his finances, wage slips/payments, savings and stocks and shares.
His home is an asset to - has he had it long?
💐💐

Wbeezer · 12/07/2021 10:38

That's complicated, i dont think he can force you out as it counts as the marital home if you're married and been living there since November, you need to see a solicitor. This is a very unusual situation and your benefit situation is a bit weird too as surely his income would always have counted towards your family income unless you were legally separated (or else all families whose fathers work away could claim benefits?). You need to see a solicitor and also speak to someone from Women's Aid and Shelter.

Hoppinggreen · 12/07/2021 10:38

You are married and have children with him
Get legal advice as the house is probably a marital asset so partly yours.
He can’t formally evict ypu

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 12/07/2021 10:39

It's an unusual situation for benefits etc.
Is he still wanting to stay married to you?
If you're married what is the rationale behind his money/your money?
Why is he not contributing financially towards his children being housed and fed?

Hoppinggreen · 12/07/2021 10:39

He can write what he wants
You can also write fuck off across it

Henio · 12/07/2021 10:39

Is he aware that he's going to make his children homeless? You need to divorce him and take as much as you can off him, what an asshole!

Babyiskickingmyribs · 12/07/2021 10:42

Are you legally married OP or just religiously married? This could make a big difference to your legal entitlements here.

frazzledasarock · 12/07/2021 10:43

Don't move out.

See a solicitor.

Take pictures or copies of his wage slips, bank statements and pension statements and any other financial statements you can find.

You can sue information about his work etc to also claim CMS, once you have a solicitor in place start your CMS claim, and also notify child benefit and universal credits that you are separated but living in the same house till the divorce is finalised. They may or may not take this on board when assessing what you are entitled to (I gave them my solicitors details to prove I was separated, maybe ask your solicitor if you can do that.)

Do not move out as the council will say you intentionally made yourself homeless and you will not be a priority to house.

frazzledasarock · 12/07/2021 10:44

use not sue

gamerchick · 12/07/2021 10:46

Eh, you're married. This is weird Hmm either way I hope divorce is on the cards. See a solicitor.

OrchestraOfWankery · 12/07/2021 10:48

@Babyiskickingmyribs

Are you legally married OP or just religiously married? This could make a big difference to your legal entitlements here.
That's what I was wondering. I don't get why OP was on UC if legally married.
Roomonb · 12/07/2021 10:52

This is really odd. He has a house in his name, has he been contributing to looking after the kids? Paying for their stuff? Helping in any way at all? I can’t believe he’s written you an eviction notice, this is mental.

Theres got to be more to this than getting a job in a different area. Is your marriage recognised in the UK courts?

redastherose · 12/07/2021 10:53

No he can't evict you, the house is a matrimonial asset and the marital home so you and your children are entitled to stay there until a court orders otherwise. His eviction notice is ridiculous in the circumstances and I assume he is hoping to force you out by being awful. Just ignore him and make contact with your local authority to advise them of what he has done/is trying to do just in case you come back one day to find all your belongings outside and the locks changed.

Push this back on him, if he doesn't want to live with you and the children then it is up to him to arrange alternative accommodation you are going nowhere.

Like PP said, apply for Universal Credit in your own name as separated but living in the same house and contact CMS about child maintenance.

Contact a solicitor and explain the circumstances and they will be able to advise you of the best next steps.

Vetyveriohohoh · 12/07/2021 10:54

Are you in the uk? That makes a big difference here

Umberellatheweatha · 12/07/2021 10:56

He needs to be the one to leave. You're the mother if his kids and don't have the money. He is earning right? So he can afford to rent elsewhere whilst the divorce goes through. And then the property would be sold and money divided. You are his wife, you have raised his kids, you are entitled to a share of the marital assets.

Hoppinggreen · 12/07/2021 10:57

@Vetyveriohohoh

Are you in the uk? That makes a big difference here
She must be at if she gets UC but the real question is (as has been asked) is she legally married here
Fullofglee · 12/07/2021 10:58

Very strange set up to be having dc and being married but never living together and then claiming benefits you could have been reported for benefit fraud.I'm not sure in the legal side when it comes to divorcing. He sounds like he resent the family life and longs for the single life. Could you get your name on the council house?

VettiyaIruken · 12/07/2021 10:59

Were you claiming UC as a single parent?
When he says move out is he ending the relationship?

Talk to him about finances. He should be contributing. If he wants to have separate homes he needs to pay towards that!

You need to go to a solicitor. Get proper legal advice. You could take the eviction letter to the local authority but if you are legally married and there's no violence I suspect they'd tell you to stay in the marital home/go to court.

Are you going to divorce ?

noideawhatusernametochoose · 12/07/2021 11:00

As above, go see a Solicitor.
Do not move out. If you're married then it doesn't matter whose name the house is in, or the bills.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 12/07/2021 11:01

What everyone else said. He seems to be thinking he can ignore being your husband and the children's father and just behave as if he's your landlord. He can't. Get legal advice and don't go anywhere.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/07/2021 11:03

I agree re: are you legally or religiously married.

Vetyveriohohoh · 12/07/2021 11:04

@Hoppinggreen I caught that but just wanted to check as she said she moved away to be with him and doesn’t get it anymore

The marriage thing also totally valid