Dh says he wants me to leave his house

[CarolinaMina]

Need some urgent advice please because I have no idea what to do.

Dh and I have been married for 10 years but have only started living together since last November. There’s a whole load of reasons for this - mainly distance as he moved away for work. Me and 3 dc (our joint dc) moved in with him in a November due to COVID but it became apparent quite quickly he was not happy with this. It’s become almost unbearable the last few weeks and last week he said he wants me and dc to move out and that he can’t live with us. Every day since he’s asking me several times a day if I’ve found somewhere to live yet. I genuinely don’t have any money for a deposit for a flat. When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit. I do work part time in the evenings, with the potential to do more hours. I have no savings.

I don’t even know where to start with finding somewhere for us with no money for a deposit. Will the council help me? We moved into his home that he owns. Everything is in his names, the mortgage, all bills. He’s this morning written me a formal notice of eviction.

Does anyone know if I have a legal leg to stand on or any information on if the council will house me?

Im sorry I’m really, real,y stressed right now and feel like I’m breaking down. I just don’t know what to do and as a result, I’m doing nothing. I feel I’m a daze

He's your husband, not your landlord, so he can't 'evict' you, no matter how 'formal' his notification. You need to seek legal advice urgently. Honestly, I don't think it sounds like you have a standard set-up so no-one here can give you proper advice, apart from ignore the eviction, stand your ground and see a solicitor.

Divorce. You will have marital assets. You also need to be claiming maintenance for the children, you need to know your rights, don’t let him blindside you.

[quote Vetyveriohohoh]@Hoppinggreen I caught that but just wanted to check as she said she moved away to be with him and doesn’t get it anymore

The marriage thing also totally valid[/quote]
She says she does still get it but it dropped when she moved in with him

What a kinob-he cant evict you youre not a tenant your his wife

get some legal adivce some solicitors do a free half hour

Speachless.

What an excellent husband and father he is. Christ.

Book a solicitor, free half hour.

Speak to womens Aid. Keep the notice of eviction.

Record your converstions with him.

If he becomes aggresive, phone the police, or go to Boots and ask for the ANI service.

He sounds like the most unreasonable, rediculous man ever, but you must keep yourself safe, do not hesitate to get help if things escalate.

Take care.

why did you have 3 kids with someone you didnt live with? This whole situation seems very weird!
Can you clarify how this set up came about and how it worked financially?
If you are legally married and the 3 kids are his then I would get a solicitor and find out exactly what you are entitled to. I can t believe he is prepared to 'evict' his kids!

I'm sorry this is happening. He is despicable.

See a solicitor. Today

DO NOT MOVE OUT. Do not make your children homeless.

Good luck OP

You need to see a solicitor, this is far from a standard divorce scenario and usual guidelines do not necessarily apply. If you have been claiming benefits as a lone parent for the past ten years, then he's likely to argue that the marriage broke down long ago. Alternatively, if you want to claim that the home has always been a marital asset, then he could choose to report you for failing to declare a capital asset and potentially claiming fraudulently.

We don't have nearly enough information to advise here, and I expect even family law specialists would not be able to give a definitive answer without much more detail.

How does he suggest that you do this? I really hope you are married, OP.

He's a selfish bastard to do this to you & the children OP.
You must be feeling overwhelmed & adrift, but please take heart - you are married, & he will soon find that it is not "his" house, but "our" house.

Fair enough to be married & living apart - that works for some couples.
But he has not given a single solitary thought to the logistics & finances of you moving out. What's worse he hasn't considered how disruptive & upsetting this might be for the children.

Well done for posting here - you will get oodles of support. It's absolutely normal for you to be feeling dazed, stressed etc - so do NOT beat yourself up about that.
Right now, all you need do is breathe, & get through today.
You can do that secure in the knowledge that he cannot evict his own wife & children from "his" property.

So tomorrow (today if you can manage it) - start looking for recommendations to a very experienced solicitor who is expert in family law & can demonstrate a can-do attitude to getting you & the DC what you need. Do not inform his that you are getting a lawyer. DO not discuss anything legal with him.

PS - you are not 'breaking down'. Your emotions are going to be all over the place today & that is a NORMAL reaction to this bloody bombshell DH has dropped on you.
Do you have a close friend or relative in real life who can hold your hand a bit over the next few days?
Hang on in there. You are residing in the marital home - & while it might not feel comfortable to be around him right now, he has no right to ask you to leave. If he can't bear living with the family he created & asked to live with him - that is his problem, & he can damn well move out. Even for a few weeks while you decide your way forward.

Remember to eat & drink. Pop out for short walks. Keep checking in here - experienced women will be along to help you build a checklist of what you need to do. You will manage, you just need to break everything down into smaller tasks & tackle them one by one - that will help you enormously with the feeling of overwhelm.

You will get through this, & look back at your strength in awe - because YOU are the parent who is going to provide stability & love to your children. Don't worry about how you are feeling today. The shock will pass, & you will cope - step by step - & never need to rely on DH's flip-flopping decisions again.

OP I have a horrible feeling you’re going to confirm that your marriage is religious rather than legal. This really does make a huge difference.

I know you dont have money op but there are plenty of solicitors that offer half an hour free legal advice. You need to get on that asap.

Use the Woman's Aid live chat chat.womensaid.org.uk/

Is there an eternal supply of men like this? He may think he can do this OP but legally he hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Legal help needed here, and fast.

As a matter of urgency you need to register a home rights on the property. It's HR1 form I think and can be done online. This prevents him kicking you out but also prevents him selling. Do one for all properties he owns (separate forms per property)
Do this today then ring a solicitor and ask for a free half hour appointment with a solicitor in the family department

Thank you everyone for your advice. I’ve been on the phone to the council and phoning solicitors all morning. Im just going to have a proper read through all the replies and get back to all the questions

I am legally married
I was entitled to uc as we lived in separate households until November
I am in the UK

Did he previously fund your separate accommodation?

DO NOT MOVE OUT.

Don't leave (unless it isn't safe to stay), get legal advice and register your rights to the property with the land registry.

If you are in the UK and not legally married, the children might have rights to the family home under the Children's Act Schedule 1, even if you don't.

www.oertonsimm.co.uk/family-law/children/financial-provision-for-children/

Don't move out.

Divorce him.

Then tell him to ram his eviction notice up his arse. The house is a marital asset and you are entitled to live there, and to a share of the equity upon divorce. He cannot evict you.

You are his wife not his lodger. Surely he can't give you notice of eviction?

When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit.

It's shocking that you were able to claim UC just because you and your h chose to live separately. Why should the taxpayer fund you doing that? Your money and your h's money should be going to pay for both households.

Why is this man making his own children homeless?! What were the reasons for living apart?

@thelastgoldeneagle

When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit.

It's shocking that you were able to claim UC just because you and your h chose to live separately. Why should the taxpayer fund you doing that? Your money and your h's money should be going to pay for both households.

People don't have to live together just because they are married nor do they have to convince finances. OP had every right to that money because she was maintaining a separate household. It's no different from having a partner that you dont live with.