Dh says he wants me to leave his house

[CarolinaMina]

Need some urgent advice please because I have no idea what to do.

Dh and I have been married for 10 years but have only started living together since last November. There’s a whole load of reasons for this - mainly distance as he moved away for work. Me and 3 dc (our joint dc) moved in with him in a November due to COVID but it became apparent quite quickly he was not happy with this. It’s become almost unbearable the last few weeks and last week he said he wants me and dc to move out and that he can’t live with us. Every day since he’s asking me several times a day if I’ve found somewhere to live yet. I genuinely don’t have any money for a deposit for a flat. When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit. I do work part time in the evenings, with the potential to do more hours. I have no savings.

I don’t even know where to start with finding somewhere for us with no money for a deposit. Will the council help me? We moved into his home that he owns. Everything is in his names, the mortgage, all bills. He’s this morning written me a formal notice of eviction.

Does anyone know if I have a legal leg to stand on or any information on if the council will house me?

Im sorry I’m really, real,y stressed right now and feel like I’m breaking down. I just don’t know what to do and as a result, I’m doing nothing. I feel I’m a daze

*combine finances

Does he want to divorce or just for you to move out and live long distance like before? Would he pay for this set up? Would that suit you in any way?

He cannot "evict" you. You have "family home rights" because you are legally married. You have a right to live in the matrimonial home regardless if your husband owns it / pays the bills etc.

You may struggle to get council assistance because you have somewhere you can live (the matrimonial home)

See a solicitor, start a divorce and sell the family home so you can both be rehoused. It will be a long process but you will be able to live in the matrimonial home until matters are resolved.

When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings

It will go back up if you move out, won’t it?

Did he at least pay maintenance for the DC whilst living apart,

People don't have to live together just because they are married nor do they have to convince finances.

If you follow that reasoning, then the OP has no right to claim matrimonial rights.

That's why this is so complicated, arguments in favour of her being able to claim UC would go against her being able to claim assets in the marriage, and vice versa.

There should be free legal advice from city council, I think, is it called citizen advice ?

Wives aren’t lodgers, and children aren’t garbage to chuck out. Would love to see his face when you initiate divorce and apply for half his assets and child maintenance. Don’t be fooled by him doing an about face and pretending he loves you when he realises this.

I've known people do this, It's called benefit fraud.

@sosickofthisshit

Then tell him to ram his eviction notice up his arse. The house is a marital asset and you are entitled to live there, and to a share of the equity upon divorce. He cannot evict you.

100% this. Good luck OP.

If you're in England or Wales you can register your marital home rights.

www.gov.uk/stay-in-home-during-separation-or-divorce

When you lived apart on benefits, did he contribute anything towards the childrens' expenses? If he controlled all the money since you moved in together, I'm wondering if he could be deemed financially controlling and emotionally abusive? It certainly sounds very possible to me! Make sure you explore this issue with the solicitor as it may help you get him out of the house until the divorce and finances are settled.

Definitely don’t leave. Cheeky fucker.

That's why this is so complicated, arguments in favour of her being able to claim UC would go against her being able to claim assets in the marriage, and vice versa.

The OP needs proper advice from a solicitor but, to my knowledge, her share of the marital assets in a divorce would be unaffected by her UC claim (and, on top of the assets, she would be able to claim child maintenance).

However, you're right that if the OP has a certain level of assets (over £6,000, I believe), she won't be able to claim UC. But she won't receive those assets until a financial order has been made on divorce and so may be able to claim UC until she receives her share of the assets. And of course the child maintenance her husband will have to pay for their DC will have no impact on her entitlement to benefits. She may also be entitled to interim spousal maintenance from her husband to support her and the child while the divorce is going through.

In short, OP, as everyone has already said, it's complicated so you need to see a solicitor for some advice. But you're likely to be entitled to more than you think.

@thelastgoldeneagle

When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit.

It's shocking that you were able to claim UC just because you and your h chose to live separately. Why should the taxpayer fund you doing that? Your money and your h's money should be going to pay for both households.

I think the OP needs support not berating. If she is legally entitled to the benefit then the issue is not relevant here.

Don't leave and also don't have too much faith in the council housing you because they very most likely will not be of much assistance I'm really sorry to say.
Did you sign a tenancy agreement when you moved in? I ask because his official eviction letter doesn't sound very official at all and certainly not legal.
Stay where you are, get legal advice and take this cunt to the cleaners.

@CarolinaMina

Thank you everyone for your advice. I’ve been on the phone to the council and phoning solicitors all morning. Im just going to have a proper read through all the replies and get back to all the questions

I am legally married
I was entitled to uc as we lived in separate households until November
I am in the UK

The benefits system was supporting you both to run a second home? There has to be a mistake somewhere here. Either in what you are telling us or what you have told them.

As a married couple, in a relationship, with children, benefits would not find towards you both choosing to run two homes.

Sorry, should have said £16,000 not £6,000. UC reduces if you have savings of over £6,000 but you can still claim something with less than £16,000.

Also he seems to want to continue the marriage but just wants you moving out is this right?

Please do not hesitate to call the police for assistance if he is aggressive.

They will remove HIM because there are children involved.

Call Woman's Aid for advice too.

Sorry- you've been married, had children, but not lived together for 10 years, and been claiming single parent benefits up until recently moving in? Definitely see a lawyer, but depending on how much of an arse he's turning into, the benefits could come back to bite you if you both have a different opinions on whether you were single and claiming or ina relationship and claiming. I would ignore the notice to mice out, as you you are legally married, and have been for ten years, he doesn't actually own the house solely

@Umberellatheweatha - People don't have to live together just because they are married nor do they have to convince finances. OP had every right to that money because she was maintaining a separate household. It's no different from having a partner that you dont live with.

But what if everyone in the UK decided to do this? The benefits system wouldn't cope. It's not designed to support married people to live separately.

And um... how can OP benefit from getting benefits as if she was a single person when it suits her, yet everyone is also telling her that she's married so she's entitled to 50% of her h's assets? Talk about having your cake and eating it.

@NotSorry - OP is getting plenty of support. I'm not keen on people who cheat the benefit system, and I can't imagine that it's designed to pay out in this situation.

Blimey OP — was this done for benefit reasons?? I’m not blaming you as you may have been unaware of this but I know someone whose husband insisted they live separately so she could claim but certainly didn’t consider themselves’separated’ — you stay right where you are if in UK- house is marital asset - 50% yours unless some other provision was made at some point due to high deposit from him etc — please stand firm- and see a solicitor pronto or contact Shelter

What an awful man. Evicting his wife and children. Unless it’s not safe to stay, do not leave. You have rights. Divorce him and take half of everything

OP, do you want a divorce?

Has he ever provided financially for his DC?

You may be able to put in a CMS claim immediately even though you're still living in the same house so long as you're 'separated'.