Dh says he wants me to leave his house

[CarolinaMina]

Need some urgent advice please because I have no idea what to do.

Dh and I have been married for 10 years but have only started living together since last November. There’s a whole load of reasons for this - mainly distance as he moved away for work. Me and 3 dc (our joint dc) moved in with him in a November due to COVID but it became apparent quite quickly he was not happy with this. It’s become almost unbearable the last few weeks and last week he said he wants me and dc to move out and that he can’t live with us. Every day since he’s asking me several times a day if I’ve found somewhere to live yet. I genuinely don’t have any money for a deposit for a flat. When we moved in together, my universal credit dropped, due to his earnings, and I only get £180 a month child benefit. I do work part time in the evenings, with the potential to do more hours. I have no savings.

I don’t even know where to start with finding somewhere for us with no money for a deposit. Will the council help me? We moved into his home that he owns. Everything is in his names, the mortgage, all bills. He’s this morning written me a formal notice of eviction.

Does anyone know if I have a legal leg to stand on or any information on if the council will house me?

Im sorry I’m really, real,y stressed right now and feel like I’m breaking down. I just don’t know what to do and as a result, I’m doing nothing. I feel I’m a daze

TBH, I wouldn't want to stay where I was abused and so obviously not wanted. But I also wouldn't want to lose any valuable property rights.

You really do need a solicitor ASAP. Beg, borrow, or steal the money. Do you have family or friends you can turn to for help?

Is the home you are living in now a rental or a purchase? Whose name is on the rental contract or deeds? If it is in his sole name, did he own it before your marriage?

Right now you need to go 'stealth'. Don't offer him any information, don't tell him anything about any plans. When he asks when you are moving out, say nothing.

I think you could be looking at benefit fraud here. Being married and in separate households isn't the same as not living with a partner. is savings and assets will be counted as joint. AFAIK.

Speechless...Do not move out - he cant evict you, he is your DH and the house is both yours. He has a legal obligation to look after his kids. Tell him if he wants to be alone, he can move out. How utterly ridiculous and disgusting some men are...

What an absolute fucker!

Everything is in his names, the mortgage, all bills. He’s this morning written me a formal notice of eviction

Haven’t got beyond OP but my reaction is you’re his wife not his tenant. You have rights; do not move out.

I don't know how long eviction takes where you live, but where I live it takes months and months and months. Even for actual tenants. I would throw that in the trash.

@PrincessNutella

I don't know how long eviction takes where you live, but where I live it takes months and months and months. Even for actual tenants. I would throw that in the trash.

I would throw that in the trash.

Precisely where it should belong, & agree with Princess on the rest of it - but do not throw that ridiculous eviction notice away.

You need to keep it, & once you have chosen a solicitor, have them note it & retain it for you, as they build their evidence file for protecting your rights & ensuring your best outcome.

"People don't have to live together just because they are married"

But leaving the marital home is desertion and grounds for divorce isn't it?

As with others, I'm more shocked/surprised that your living situation prior to moving in was even possible when married and with your husband owning a home.

Anyone with more clarity on the rules?

But for the OP - you don't have to move out as you are his spouse

Right. The Revenue Benefits website says that

Section 3(5) defines a married couple as a man and woman who are married to each other and are neither
a. separated under a Court order nor
b. separated in circumstances where the separation is likely to be permanent.

From the date on which a couple marry they will be treated as a married couple for tax credit purposes EVEN IF THEY DO NOT BEGIN LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD.

(my caps)

See revenuebenefits.org.uk/tax-credits/guidance/how-do-tax-credits-work/understanding-living-together/#Married%20couples%20and%20Civil%20Partners and www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/claimant-compliance-manual/ccm15035

Looks like OP and her h have been committing benefit fraud for ten years.

OP needs to get legal advice. And they need to pay back all money they have claimed fraudulently.

Wow, this is the really extreme end of men thinking their own children are nothing to do with them and just accessories of their mothers. Has he expressed any concern for their wellbeing in all of this? Any interest in where they might end up living as a result of his decision?

I'm wondering if he wants you out because he's read that you can only make a claim on the house if you are resident there. With three children between you I doubt that would be the case, but you need to get your own legal advice. And then ideally a divorce, and then splitting the assets which will allow you to home yourself and the children.

You read things on Mumsnet and wonder how people think this way.
And then you read some more.
Please do not move out OP. I would also cal police just in case to make sure there is a record of him bullying you to leave a house that you and your children need more than him and that you are entitled to live in. It’s your own property FFS.
Do not leave the house and call the police to say you are afraid of what he might do next.

If you have been unknowingly committing benefit fraud, even more reason for you to be careful about what you do next.

@thelastgoldeneagle

Right. The Revenue Benefits website says that

Section 3(5) defines a married couple as a man and woman who are married to each other and are neither
a. separated under a Court order nor
b. separated in circumstances where the separation is likely to be permanent.

From the date on which a couple marry they will be treated as a married couple for tax credit purposes EVEN IF THEY DO NOT BEGIN LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD.

(my caps)

See revenuebenefits.org.uk/tax-credits/guidance/how-do-tax-credits-work/understanding-living-together/#Married%20couples%20and%20Civil%20Partners and www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/claimant-compliance-manual/ccm15035

Looks like OP and her h have been committing benefit fraud for ten years.

OP needs to get legal advice. And they need to pay back all money they have claimed fraudulently.

She can pay it back from selling his house before they split the remaining equity.

@thelastgoldeneagle

Right. The Revenue Benefits website says that

Section 3(5) defines a married couple as a man and woman who are married to each other and are neither
a. separated under a Court order nor
b. separated in circumstances where the separation is likely to be permanent.

From the date on which a couple marry they will be treated as a married couple for tax credit purposes EVEN IF THEY DO NOT BEGIN LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD.

(my caps)

See revenuebenefits.org.uk/tax-credits/guidance/how-do-tax-credits-work/understanding-living-together/#Married%20couples%20and%20Civil%20Partners and www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/claimant-compliance-manual/ccm15035

Looks like OP and her h have been committing benefit fraud for ten years.

OP needs to get legal advice. And they need to pay back all money they have claimed fraudulently.

Oh dear

What a bully boy.
Luckily you're married so legally it's 50% yours.
He should leave the house because you've got 3 children that need a roof over their heads and looking after.
He's the one that has to leave.
Take a deep breath and don't let the bastard frighten you into anything.
Get legal advice from a good solicitor that specializes in family law.
Good luck you will be ok x

tell him if he doesn't like living with you ....he can move out

do not make yourself homeless, do not leave the house until you have got secret legal advice

Where were you loving before November and where did that deposit money go? Why did you move in together "because of Covid"? I don't get the connection.

*Living

There is not much loving going on here at all.

You are his wife not his lodger so the eviction notice is meaningless

Does he realise that when he married you his house became 50% your house as well no matter what is on the deeds and mortgage snd who pays for it.

Friend has just divorced her abusive ex. She has never worked and he had paid off the mortgage. But it was a marital asset.

Make sure you take copies of all bank statements, pensions, savings, investments and bank accounts as 50% is yours and you need copies of his earnings as that will determine child maintenance.

Bit surprised you got UC as a married couple.

Trouble is the EX has done nothing wrong - legally as far as benefits - UC would be concerned .
It will be the OP who is fucked over for this because I would imagine she would have been the one signing on the forms saying she is not married or separated it single parent on her UC form
I would imagine that the husband has realised how much of his wages are going to support the OP and his kids and doesn’t want to do this anymore .

He probably preferred it when the OP was claiming UC for herself and the kids and self supporting herself through UC at no real cost to him .
If the OP tries to get money from him or the house this could all blow up in her face

The OP will be fucked if the DWP get wind of this.

@SuperstoreFan
My thoughts exactly
I think it’s pretty much like what I posted
He doesn’t want to support his kids or wife anymore
Probably preferred it when the state was supporting them

It can't possibly be right.

You can't claim benefits to support having a second house when you're a legally married couple and simply have decided you need to live in 2 places!

This is ridiculous.

Op when you signed on for benefits what did you say on the form. Whatever it was you’re likely going to habe to stick with that story for the divorce, or future seperation..

Where did you live before?