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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If England get beaten, so will she. @MN please pin this or write your own to be pinned at the top

206 replies

CrinkleCrankle · 11/07/2021 10:22

If England get beaten, so will she.

#DomesticViolence increases 26% when #England play. 38% if they lose.

For help with a protective injunction text 'NCDV' to 60777 or call us on 0800 970 2070

OP posts:
MrsMackesy · 17/07/2021 17:26

Bump

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 17/07/2021 17:30

Bump. This is disgraceful.

MrsMackesy · 18/07/2021 00:20

Bump

KarenofSparta · 18/07/2021 12:05

Bump

nosafeguardingadults · 18/07/2021 13:58

Is true what heyday says. Just calling police can make it worse. Need proper help for victims cos calling the police not same thing as proper help and somewhere safe to live. Women can't leave violence if nowhere safe to live.

Some councils couldn't care less. They don't care if risk of serious violence and abuse. They do anything they can to get rid of you and they lie and break the law and tell you to just find your own place or just call police or go to different council whatever your circumstances. If an abuser controls you and economic abuse you have nowhere safe to go so trapped.

That's why women don't leave and then if they get killed people blame them for not getting help when they maybe did try to get help. Not every organisation helps depends on where you live and if the person is good. Most really good but some are not and only help if they decide they want to maybe they don't like the sound of your voice or they don't like their job or whatever reason, if they decide not to help you and fight for you, you have no hope.

If you don't have a good one who wants to help you, you have no chance. Definitely no chance against the councils cos the councils eat you for breakfast. You take a risk and leave for temporary safe place but if you not helped to find somewhere safe after, then you end up back where you started but worse cos trying and failing to leaves makes it worse.

You get told to get help so you tell all these strangers at councils and other organisations humiliating details of abuse. Approach councils for housing help cos of domestic violence and they try very hard to do anything not to help you.

They leave you going through the fear, living with the constant risk hanging over you, they just drag out everything, and leave you still in a situation of risk and fear. You lose your confidence to try to leave after going through failed attempts to get help.

Takes all your strength to try and when you do but turns out it was false hope, worse than not trying. You go through frightening unknown temporary circumstances like refuges and what keeps you able to survive is the thought it's only temporary and the stepping stone to finally being safe and not having someone else control you.

When you don't get given the help to have that chance to be settled and safe and start to recover and rebuild. You end up back at the beginning, still living in limbo, temporary, constantly temporary, not safe, on edge, nothing settled, ongoing, still at risk, it destroys you.

They don't care and don't want to help and then you feel dirty and ashamed and violated for trusting them and for falling for fake promises of help. It's as cruel as abuse is. No different except not physical but psychologically it's the same and sort of worse.

MrsMackesy · 19/07/2021 13:58

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