Why *(content warning: concerns domestic abuse)

[mcdreamymcsteamy]

I'm shaking writing this but I don't have anybody to talk to in real life. I have no family and I'm too ashamed to tell my friends. I have no where to go.

But I need to tell somebody.

Yesterday whilst holding my 12 week old baby he slapped me across the face. Then when I swore at him he put his hands around my neck and choked me until I sat down on the sofa.

Today he was holding the baby and I was sat in the comer of the sofa, he'd made a comment that I am insecure that's why I always wear black underwear?! I said he is a sick fuck for hitting me with a baby in my arms, he put the baby in the Moses basket and said I'll show hits then bang there was 3/4 hits across my head and a chunk of my hair on the floor! I tried to kick him then more fighting but it's a blur but somewhere in there he shouted at me that I'm fat as fuck and made nasty comments about my stretch marks and my arms.

What the actual fuck.

He is not here right now and im sitting plucking up the courage to ring the police.

@Florist1970

I'm concerned you are not listening.to the advice " phone the police" if you were really scared you would do this, stop enjoying the drama and realize you are in an abusive relationship

Enjoying the drama? Yes today I particularly enjoyed repeatedly being punched in the head and then my head slammed into the headboard of the bed.

I am listening to advice but I am terrified. I can't just go for a walk I can't just run out the door with the baby, he's faster than me and watching my every move including on the phone, I haven't even had a chance to get washed in private. That is why I think trying to keep it calm and wait till Monday is safest?

My sister only knows a part of it, she was drunk hence my original comment which was supposed to be no family I can rely on.

1. Ring the police 2. Pack some clothes for you and baby for a few days 3. Get the fuck out of there before he comes home. Sit inside a cafe do not go back with him no matter what! 4. He most definitely will hit you and baby again at some point. You need to nip this in the bud now and leave him!

If you stay with him social services could get involved and you don’t want That. Tell your family and friends ASAP

OP if you're typing updates on your phone could you text your sister to please call the police right now? He wouldn't be expecting them and wouldn't have chance to react?

Could you type a message to a mumsnet person in private on here with your address etc and they can call for you?

And just wanted to say that I know the fear is paralysing but try and think of it differently.
Do it for your baby, could you imagine he ever attacked your baby or baby was injured if was in the way?
Get brave for you baby if you can't do it for you, I grew up in a domestic abuse household and the fear was unreal and I've carried it ever since.
Please get help

If you text 'register' to 999,i think you can then text them once you get confirmation that you've registered. Please do that.

Won't he have to go to sleep at some point?
Can you wait until he's in bed, get up, get baby and go downstairs. Make out you are dealing with baby. Once you think he's asleep you could ring the police. Stay downstairs until they arrive.

How come you can post on here yet you can't text for help?
You have your child in the house you must get to safety!

OP please message me your address I will ring the police for you I will be on here for a few hours , you have to get this bastard out of your home before he kills you x

Your police force will have a web chat facility. If you can text on here web chat maybe an option for you.

OP I know you're frightened but if you're able to post on here from your phone then you're able to text 999 for help.

Exactly, if you can post on here you can call the Police. It will end there, he will be picked up and you can file charges, What is stopping you from doing this when it's been the first advice, and the only sane advice?

@Florist1970 I agree. it's frightening to make that step to call the police but nowhere near as frightening to live with the threat of violence at every turn, especially with a tiny baby in the mix.

OP you had plenty of time to contact the police before he got home yesterday, please don't leave it any longer.

*as living with the threat of violence.. that should say.

I've asked MNHQ to put a DV trigger warning on the title of this thread

I’m sorry that you are going through this op. Does he have access to whatever device you are using?
You can email the police if that would be easier for you.
Don’t wait until Monday. Text your sister and tell her to contact the police as you and the baby are in immediate danger.

Hi OP. You must be very frightened and scared the moment, that said you need to be strong and remove your baby from the situation and ensure that you do not go back. The type of violence you have described is serious and you need to safeguard yourself and also your baby. I’m a family lawyer and if you don’t take steps to remove yourself and your baby from that situation, you could be perceived as failing to safeguard your baby, which is a child protection issue. If you ring the police, they will take steps to ensure you are safe whether that be arresting your partner and removing him from your accommodation and putting emergency orders in place to ensure he can’t come back or taking you to a women’s refuge. As previous posters have said putting his hands around your throat is a massive red flag and you need to get out now this is very serious and you shouldn’t minimise it. : “Get help now X

I have to disagree with the previous comment that if you were scared you'd call the police. It can take a long time for women to seek help for many reasons.

The police will know what to do and will have seen it all before. They wont be shocked and they wont judge.

Please call the Police. You and your baby deserve better and calling the Police can be a good step towards a better life.

Why has MNHQ hidden my post? It didn't say anything bad!