To be reconsidering my relationship because of lockdown

[whitemirrors]

I won’t be leaving because we have young children.

But I am increasingly frustrated with DH wfh and I feel it’s forcing a lifestyle on me I just don’t want.

He’s at home all the time. It’s rare he leaves the house. When he does it’s only for short periods like to go to the supermarket to fill the car with petrol or to go to the dentist. Those sorts of things.

Then at weekends because he’s home all the time he wants to be out of the house. I’m exhausted with it.

Don’t know why I’m posting. Just feeling so stifled.

I’m going to assume he has refused to.

This sounds like my nightmare OP, I’m so sorry. I’d want to scream.

Do you feel like you can talk openly with your DH about this? Or how would he react?

Okay then. You seem content with just accepting this is your miserable situation for life and that there are absolutely zero solutions to your problem.

Good luck with that.

@whitemirrors

sleeping a couple of you have taken that very literally.

Yes, I have looked at a couple of cheap terrace houses/flats in desperation and I have had a fantasy or buying one and disappearing to it during the day, but it’s highly unlikely to happen!

Ok fair enough, you'd said you'd seriously looked so I assumed to take it literally. Endless money pot would always help.

There are solutions though, bit you're going to have to work together to find them.

You'll likely have more support here if you actually give us more information.

Why can't he work in a bedroom? Why can't he go back to the office? Why can't you talk to him about this?

You seem hellbent on there being zero solution and being defeatest, but giving us no information to understand why that is so.

Anyway I really don’t know why everyone is so hung up about the bedroom(s.) I’m deliberately avoiding being drawn into that conversation because it isn’t relevant. He is working in an open plan area because at the moment he has to. That is all anybody needs to know. And tbh it would make precisely no difference if he was in a bedroom. No he hasn’t refused to.

I feel for your DH, stuck at home with you all the time.

An endless money pot would absolutely solve all issues. Except he’d retire then (semi serious )

Working in a bedroom would make all the difference. Closed door, away working.

You get the house to yourself.

Honestly you sound like a complete nightmare I'm starting to feel sorry for your DH.

Perhaps you’d like to move in in my place then doormat since I can’t imagine anyone would want to marry you.

See, nasty little snide remarks go both ways.

Because we’re trying to work out why he can’t work away from you, to give you space. That’s why.

What possible requirement could there be to work in an open plan area? It doesn't make sense, and therefore your posts don't make sense.

@Babyboomtastic I'm with you. Cannot imagine any situation work-wise in which an open plan area would be needed

The conversations would be ‘but why can’t you wear your pyjamas and sing nursery rhymes to DD when I’m working’

He doesn’t get it.

So why can't you? You're saying you can't enjoy your house and do things you want with baby. If you told him he'd say you can. So why are you insisting that you couldn't possibly do it?

Mention it to him, when he says it's fine, do it. If he moans say well you said I could so you'll have to find a work around. This is their home too.

If you've been bottling this frustration up for 7 months I understand why you're so angry but you really need to talk to him

Why does it matter?

I’ve said he can’t and this isn’t an option at the moment.

I genuinely don’t know why it’s so important that everyone has to know the exact reason (so they can decide if it is ‘worthy’ or not?)

As a suggestion. How about just taking me at my word?

I must get some sleep so I will not answer any more replies, the thread is descending into personal attacks on me and unfortunately I am not very good at not biting back when this happens. I am sure by tomorrow I will be an ugly, stupid, horrible woman and the house has six bedrooms and I’ve taken over all of them which is why poor DH can’t work in any of them. Or something.

The only thing I can think of is if clients come to the house, as taking them to the bedroom would be odd. But if that were the case, and there was a steady stream of strangers in the home, we'd surely have been told already.

Other than that, I'm desperately thinking but coming up blank.

sleeping yes, I can

I can walk down the street in my bra and knickers, it’s only like a bikini, but I would feel extremely uncomfortable and self conscious doing so.

Night.

Ok night night.

Noooo you don't share the endless money pot with him.

If he was in the bedroom op you'd be able to walk around in your pajamas dancing to Baby B songs, surely that's the point?

I'm beginning to think his job is live cooking demonstrations via Zoom. I think you dancing to Baby club in the background would add to the vibe

You give me a really good reason why you need to know baby and I’ll tell you. A really, really good reason.

Cross posted. Night op but please do talk to him. Your unhappiness isn't just your responsibility

No one has said an open plan area is needed.

I have said he cannot work in a bedroom.

Pick pick pick.

100% this thread will be deleted in the morning - night all 👋🏻

It's really difficult to take people at their word when they are as defeatist and hell bent on not accepting workarounds as you are OP.

"He is working in an open plan area because at the moment he has to."

You literally said that.