Warning, gross. LTB, accept it or separate bed/rooms?

[Bertiebassethound]

I’ve lived with Mr Bertie for around 4 months now. We’ve been together for 3 years, though.

The issue is that he regularly leaves shit stains on the sheets. He sleeps naked, and suffers with IBS, which I think causes the issue.

He works nights, so we’re rarely actually in bed at the same time. However, he will make the bed when the sheets are dirty without saying/ changing them, so then I come to bed and have to change the sheets before I can sleep. This can be two or three times a week.

I’ve asked him to wear pants to bed, or to check and change the sheets before he leaves for work, but he’s not doing either.

I’m fed up with dealing with this literal shit. What would you do?

I put eggs in the fridge

YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!

He is literally sharting in his sleep.
How the fuck can he even think that's acceptable.
I wouldn't put up with it a moment longer op.
One of my exes was abit like this.
Would scratch his arsehole and leave a mark in his boxers like he had a malteaser stuck in his arse cheeks and it had melted.
Slung him out after he didn't even seem bothered about it.
Its fuckin grim .

If he's like this within four months of cohabiting, I hate to think what he will be like after a decade.

Yuck - disgusting to just make up the bed with soiled sheets.

My DP has IBS - he had a very wet fart in bed while drunk & was mortified - bundled me out of the room while he changed everything.

He needs to get his bowels sorted out if he can't control them overnight - the GP could help

Totally agree with @Crowsaregreat if he literally expects you to sleep in his own excrement what will he be like in a few years time. Disgusting.

He's telling you, "Look, I'll leave my shit wherever I please, and if you don't like it, clear it up."

@Inthesameboatatmo

He is literally sharting in his sleep. How the fuck can he even think that's acceptable. I wouldn't put up with it a moment longer op. One of my exes was abit like this. Would scratch his arsehole and leave a mark in his boxers like he had a malteaser stuck in his arse cheeks and it had melted. Slung him out after he didn't even seem bothered about it. Its fuckin grim .

I just vomited lol

@pebbledashery.
Sorry.

If he could wear night clothes as recently as a few months ago in a house share then there’s no reason for his shitty arse to be rolling all over your sheets. He’s disgusting, I’d give him an ultimatum, he covers his arse or he leaves.

Although the moment he said he’d not address this would have been the end for me, would have put me right off him. Men really don’t seem to realise that if they have disgusting habits women won’t want to have sex with them.

Suggest you decide to sleep naked on your period and see if he’s grossed out. And blood is a lot cleaner than shit!

Christ if this is real it’s proper dirty family, refusing to wear under wear and repeatedly leaving shit stains on the sheets is appalling.

I read this and I swear to god my vagina involuntarily clenched shut likea prison door and my uterus pulled up to somewhere near my throat. I actually feel queasy. Who on Earth thinks this is ok? Just no. I could never ever even make eye contact with him again never mind share a bed. That is absolutely disgusting and shows such little regard and respect for you. Get some standards!!

Why can't he wash his bum properly? Is he saying he leaks shit when asleep? He should see a doctor about that. I know many people with IBS, none of them leak shit in the night.

'This isn't working. You're shitting the bed and don't care. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has that little respect for himself, me and our home. We're done and need to discuss the practicalities of the split.'

Because he won't get better and probably worse the more comfortable he gets.

@Crowsaregreat

If he's like this within four months of cohabiting, I hate to think what he will be like after a decade.

This.

Four months in is still the honeymoon period so what on earth would he be like years down the road!

@FudgeSundae

Suggest you decide to sleep naked on your period and see if he’s grossed out. And blood is a lot cleaner than shit!

But why do that? He won't care and that's minging.

I like nice sheets so someone doing that to our sheets would be a dealbreaker, not to mention too lazy to change them and expect me to sleep in it. Or not care he himself was sleeping in them.

Vom.

My daughter occasionally has period accidents and immediately strips the bed, puts her sheets in the wash and changes the bed and she's a teenager.

This is a grown adult who is fine with a bed smeared with cack.

@ElectricTreeLeaf

However, he will make the bed when the sheets are dirty without saying/ changing them

This is the deal breaker, he would happily get back into shit stained sheets. Beyond disgusting. How is his bar for hygiene set so low? The fact that until you moved in he would wear pants shows how little respect he has for you now. He is happy for you to slide into bed knowing he left skid marks in there.

This! It's disgusting and disrespectful. Ick. As you've been together 3 years, maybe talk to him one time, and if he doesn't put pants on... I'd be done.

I have IBS, and I've never had this. Does he not wipe properly? It's strange, no less that he is OK with it.

How is he just getting a little bit of leakage that it stains the bed? Are you sure he's not cleaning himself properly? If that's the case does he not have a shower just before bed?
What if you fancy sex on a morning when you wake up? He'll have a shitty arse?🤢

LTfuckingB

What the actual fuck have I just read ?!

IBS aside.. the issue here is that he is expecting you to sleep in it, and doing NOTHING to fix it.. either by wearing pants, or by changing the sheets.

It would be an instant deal breaker for me, and at this point, even if he offered to do something if you threatened to leave him, it would be too late, because he's quite clearly already shown you the man that he is.

The man that expects you to either sleep in his shit, or wipe his arse for him.

LTB, quicksharp.

Vile and disrespectful.

No I’m sorry if ill that is different but knowing he has condition and not safe gauding against, no I’m sorry not acceptable.

We've all had tummy upsets and this has never happened to us! If there is something so wrong he should want to go to the dr to have it sorted.

I doubt there is. He just doesn't care because you are worthless enough to change the bed he has stained each time.

@Maze76

You have asked him to address the issue, and he hasn’t, in fact he’s ignored you, continues to soil the sheets and leaves you to clear it up. This shows total disregard and lack of respect for you and your relationship. He may have good qualities aside from this, but potentially you could be living the rest of your life sleeping in his shit. I’d have another conversation with him and take it from there.

Absolutely this.

He doesn't care about your feelings at all.

And adults shouldn't need fo be told to clean up their own shit. You are not his parent.