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Original poster

Warning, gross. LTB, accept it or separate bed/rooms?

172 replies

Bertiebassethound · 05/07/2021 00:10

I’ve lived with Mr Bertie for around 4 months now. We’ve been together for 3 years, though.

The issue is that he regularly leaves shit stains on the sheets. He sleeps naked, and suffers with IBS, which I think causes the issue.

He works nights, so we’re rarely actually in bed at the same time. However, he will make the bed when the sheets are dirty without saying/ changing them, so then I come to bed and have to change the sheets before I can sleep. This can be two or three times a week.

I’ve asked him to wear pants to bed, or to check and change the sheets before he leaves for work, but he’s not doing either.

I’m fed up with dealing with this literal shit. What would you do?

OP posts:
SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 05/07/2021 01:16

Oh, look, come on, OP. You know what you need to do.

He can’t help the IBS, but he can wear underpants to bed. The fact that he’d prefer you to sleep on his skidders is deal-breaker territory.

Tell him it’s over for you.

Maybe that’s all it takes for him to cop onto himself. If not, then he’s made his choice. Skiddy sheets are more important to him than you.

MrsToothyBitch · 05/07/2021 01:19

That's grim. Really grim. Pants to bed definitely and he can sort the mucky sheets out. If he's unwilling... ltb.

We sleep nude. DP had a few blocked pores and resultant huge lump spots right at the top of his inner thighs recently, in the heat. It only took one to pop and bleed in the night and pants went on until they all calmed down. He apologised profusely. It was an accident and he made sure it wouldn't happen again.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 05/07/2021 01:27

What sort of animal are you living with?
I couldn’t stand a moment longer of this. Like many PPs I have IBS flares now and again but there’s no excuse. He needs to wear pants and it sounds like faecal incontinence so he needs to see GP.

viques · 05/07/2021 01:31

I wonder what his reaction would be if you leaked period blood onto the sheets. Not that I am suggesting you would do that deliberately, but I bet he wouldn’t be comfortable with it.

me4real · 05/07/2021 01:31

a) He needs to see a doctor.

b) He needs to bathe or shower before bed, wear pants and/or change the sheets.

Jux · 05/07/2021 02:08

Vile and thoroughly disrespectful. You're there to literally clean up his shit. Is there a spare room? Maybe start making it your new bedroom......

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 05/07/2021 02:18

How dare he make you deal with this literal shit Angry

Tossblanket · 05/07/2021 02:23

I can't believe anyone could be that much of a filthy pig.

No respect for you either just leaving shitty sheets for you to deal with, grim.

QueenBee52 · 05/07/2021 02:45

OP why do you accept this degrading behaviour ?

iMombie · 05/07/2021 02:50

If he wore pants/pj’s to bed would he be the one that cleaned those? Or would that job be left for you too?!

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 05/07/2021 02:51

@Jux

Vile and thoroughly disrespectful. You're there to literally clean up his shit. Is there a spare room? Maybe start making it your new bedroom......
If you need to move into the spare room because it’s the only way of not sleeping in faeces, then the answer isn’t actually ‘move into the spare room’.

The answer is: ‘end the relationship because it’s over’.

Otherwise, what? They’re living separate lives as flatmates. How’s that supposed to work long-term?

Not singling you out, BTW, Jux! But do you know what I mean? If you’re partnered up with such a sub-standard specimen, who’s so petty he’d rather you slept in his literal shit than do the one small thing to avoid that, then the relationship is over.

Gothichouse40 · 05/07/2021 02:58

No, Im sorry he wouldn't be in my house let alone my bed. That is disgusting and completely selfish of him. Shows what he thinks of you, if you are there to just clean up his shit, it wouldn't be me.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/07/2021 02:58

Someone who is happy for you to sort out their literal shit is going to be happy with you sorting out every other kind of shit in their lives

velvethaze · 05/07/2021 03:06

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Jenasaurus · 05/07/2021 03:11

I wonder if he is dreaming he is having a shit and actually does it, I have wet the bed in the past dreaming I was on the loo and then woke up realising I had wet myself in real life. I am glad he doesnt shit himself during sex though OP that is something

Paddling654 · 05/07/2021 03:28

I'd have a final chat laying out my expectations, then leave if no improvement

Eviethyme · 05/07/2021 03:37

Is he not embarrassed that he's shitting the bed 😱😳 I have ibs bad but I couldn't imagine ever skidding the bed....

LepersofRuggedIsland · 05/07/2021 06:07

I wouldn’t sleep another night with him until he sorted it out. He’s either utterly oblivious or completely uncaring, either way it shows scant respect for you.

Give him an ultimatum - wear pants, or he sleeps alone. I also have IBS and it’s no excuse for such disgustingness.

Pebbledashery · 05/07/2021 06:10

It's the flagrant disrespect I couldn't put up with. Actually not bothered about you changing the soiled sheets and he doesn't even have the decency to do it. Yuck.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/07/2021 06:13

You do realise he’s on his best behaviour right now. If this is what he’s doing within so few months of living together, imagine what he will be like in a few more years or decades.

Split up. Throw this one back in the sea.

mam0918 · 05/07/2021 06:16

Just like with children if he cant stop messing the bed then he should be made to wear pull up pants

Theunamedcat · 05/07/2021 06:24

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updownroundandround · 05/07/2021 06:24

That is truly, so far beyond acceptable, you couldn't even see it in your rear view bloody mirror ! Shock

Even a little child wouldn't want to sleep in a shit stained bed ffs !

The fact that you've had to talk to him about it is unreasonable !

Would you leave a shit/blood streaked bed for him to 'discover' ??

How could this ever be 'acceptable' to anyone ????

He has absolutely NO love/affection/consideration for you, does he ?
To say nothing about personal hygiene/pride/dignity !!

And he actually thinks you'd still be attracted to/have sex with him when he continues with this disgusting and FILTHY habit ??

He's making a CHOICE to not wear underwear to bed KNOWING that he leaves shit behind FFS !!

daisychain01 · 05/07/2021 06:31

How is it appropriate ever to create a thread about someone else's medical history and have strangers discussing it.

OP what is it you're actually looking for from this quite graphic thread that's going to help? Whatever people say, is that really going to make you take action or do you just like talking about it?

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 05/07/2021 06:31

Ugh
This would be a relationship ender for me. I could not fancy him again. I definitely would not have him living with me. Are you quite young, if you had housemates before? Have you had much prior experience in relationships? This isn't acceptable, and you don't need to deal with it.