Warning, gross. LTB, accept it or separate bed/rooms?

[Bertiebassethound]

I’ve lived with Mr Bertie for around 4 months now. We’ve been together for 3 years, though.

The issue is that he regularly leaves shit stains on the sheets. He sleeps naked, and suffers with IBS, which I think causes the issue.

He works nights, so we’re rarely actually in bed at the same time. However, he will make the bed when the sheets are dirty without saying/ changing them, so then I come to bed and have to change the sheets before I can sleep. This can be two or three times a week.

I’ve asked him to wear pants to bed, or to check and change the sheets before he leaves for work, but he’s not doing either.

I’m fed up with dealing with this literal shit. What would you do?

However, he will make the bed when the sheets are dirty without saying/ changing them

This is the deal breaker, he would happily get back into shit stained sheets. Beyond disgusting. How is his bar for hygiene set so low? The fact that until you moved in he would wear pants shows how little respect he has for you now. He is happy for you to slide into bed knowing he left skid marks in there.

This is a deal breaker. Not it happening (if medical) but his attitude towards it. It’s pants, change the bed and wash (properly) your own dirty sheets or it’s over. He’s letting you sleep in faeces.

How does this even happen? Especially if you don’t notice it at other times. Must be leakage surely?

Well isn't he just showing you exactly what he thinks of you?
Use that information.
Leave.

Get creative with the HP sauce. See how he likes it.

The great joy and wonder of living with someone before marriage is the opportunity to discover, “Lo! I do not wish to live with this person, nor have romantic dealings with them ever again.” Walk away. Off like a streak.

So many men that have really strange or direspectful behaviour.

Skiddies are a dumpable offence (no pun intended). I had a few dates with a bloke who was perfect on paper - loo paper.

Went into his bathroom for a wee and his trousers and pants had been taken off all in one and were on the floor next to the loo. The gusset looked like the tarmac at Heathrow and he had to have worn them a few days too by the looks. If he can't wipe his own arse.......
If he can't change his pants every day, just stepping back in and pulling them up......

I was gone.

If there is another bedroom, I would probably sleep in there and maybe just visit him before sleep/ shower until he changes?

My exh did this. Just one of his very many disgusting habits. Yes, I do question why I stayed with him as long as I did, but I'm just glad now it's not my problem anymore.
It wasn't ibs with him, he was simply a disgusting, filthy, lazy pig.

🤢 LTB

I’d probably leave

It says alot about his attitude towards you and I bet you anything that this isn’t the only inconsiderate behaviour he shows

That is absolutely disgusting. Unless someone is so severely disabled by their bowel issues they’re leaking out of incontinence pads or cannot physically clean themselves there is no excuse for this. I have uncontrollable ibs and I would never, ever leave the bed like that. He has no respect for you whatsoever.

It’s not that he does it, it’s that he doesn’t have any respect for you, he doesn’t wear pants or change the sheets, he thinks you can sleep in his shit and it’s fine. Ltb

Honestly, I'd consider him feral to be doing things like this. I'd get the ick, anymore than once really.

More for the fact that he is absolutely not fussed about it. He is OK with shitting the bed and leaving it for you to deal with.

Why are you willing to settle for this? Its absolutely disgusting, and surely, you can see that you deserve better?
The fact that he just leaves it really is disrespectful and disgusting.

Show him the responses on here.

@daisychain01

This isn't about his medical condition, it's how he deals with the we, afteraffects

Can't work out how OP has spent this long changing his dirty sheets and has never spoken to him about it

Surely it would be this first time it happened.. "Hey babe are you ok? The sheets have shit on. Do you have a poorly tummy?"

YABVVVU to not say anything and put up with it! What are you doing!

How could you ever deal with this never mind trying to get over this
Omg. I've honestly got the boke. I'm about to use the common MN term for the first time ever on your thread...
LTB - yuck!!!

Disgusting, how disrespectful.

Oh god this is awful. My DH refuses to wear anything to bed and I absolutely hate it but thankfully we’ve never had this issue even though it’s my fear.

@daisychain01
I disagree. But note this is op’s only post under this username. Presuming this is genuine, the question in the title indicates she is looking for guidance in this situation. Perhaps she feels this is the perfect guy except for the one issue. Or maybe not, but maybe she realises there are a lot of women on the boards, who have been around the block and can offer her an objective view.

Oh wow he has no excuses!
He knows he does it because you have told him! That's just not on!

It sounds like he doesn’t care.

I would leave. It is disgusting. He could do something, as you say, wear pants. Instead not only does he do it repeatedly, he thinks it's ok to leave you to change the sheets.
Disrespectful.