Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

That said next week is looking like a sausage fest again.

@SpringlikeBunk

That said next week is looking like a sausage fest again.

How do you do it Spring 😁😂

It's sort of not planned @BelladiMamma but more "chats coming to fruition"?

Agree it's quite tiring would prefer just to have "have one Ok guy and be done with it for the summer". I don't want the love of my life or some 10/10 dude - just some sex and not to be annoying and a bit of date stuff and feelings?

Like I really wouldn't mind MrC as he's easy (hahahahhaaha), I can walk to his, likes hosting, treats me like a pwincess so I can get on with work at his, and he's on leave now...

But he wants the family and children so realistically it would be freaky if we were dating and he was also dating to meet others to settle down with - like just very awkward?

Checking in.

@SpringlikeBunk

Like I really wouldn't mind MrC as he's easy (hahahahhaaha), I can walk to his, likes hosting, treats me like a pwincess so I can get on with work at his, and he's on leave now...

But he wants the family and children so realistically it would be freaky if we were dating and he was also dating to meet others to settle down with - like just very awkward?

Well damnations and drat. How very irritating that Mr C can't just put it all on hold until you've had the relationship/got over him.

Well sausage fest or not you're a busy person and I salute you

@BelladiMamma

I think tbh if I really cried/screamed it out he'd probably agree - we suggested detaching early this year over the me not wanting children/him not wanting long distance if I was moving away thing

And I didn't want to be having big discussions in the middle of interviews but he did "suggest just continuing till I left".

But I don't want to be a pushy cunt - he only gets limited home time and so if he wants the kids he needs to get a move on really.

And I don't want to be in the role of "scarlet woman hanging around in the background" whilst he's dating 29 year olds.

I need to get myself a replacement bit of man, or nothing, or something. Come on Fab give me something!

Thank you @SortingItOut @SpringlikeBunk
That's all really helpful. I'm wanting a bit of cock myself and just soooooooooo fed up!

God it's all frustrating. Wish it was all face to face. I always feel I'm too harsh.

Oh and who mentioned height? I'm 5.9 so I tend to go for tall, but I had a friend point out, what if the right man was an inch shorter?

A new guy just wanted to chat. He said he wants to take me to a friend's house party in a couple of weeks. I said I would need to meet in person before agreeing to something like that.

He then asked a number of questions that seemed to be designed to confirm that I'm an independent person with a job. It was all a bit weird. Not sure whether I should bin him or entertain this further - after all, any smart woman would be assessing whether a man might meet her needs too???

I honestly has the feeling he was taking notes!

@libertybonds how drawn are you to his profile?

Is HE meeting a lot of your tick boxes or are you "meh" for other reasons? Can you do a phone call to suss him out more if you're unsure?

I think with the sussing out job/finances etc it's tricky. I know I've felt a bit "judged" sometimes. But maybe he just wants someone who can keep up with him.

I know if a guy wants a woman who can afford half a ski-ing holiday and I can't (because I very happily switched to training for dream career later in life) then he should find that out sooner?

My career path is cool on paper and has social bragging rights and I'll (probably) be able to retire on time with money and live well

but also I'm not at the same financial stage as someone who has been in the same job since they were 21?

With the party invite, maybe it was just small talk - I'd say if you were keen on his profile and it's just these little niggles then talk a bit more, but if you were on the fence anyway move on.

Can't sleep. Aagghh!

Can't help feeling a bit jealous, @Spring. I wish I was more like you ❤️

Nothing from Mr. Action today.

Wish I could stop having these dreams and thoughts about going on dates and having panic attacks and shaking.

Sometimes, I wish I could tell my ex what an effect his selfishness has had. I think it's partly his fault why I'm like this.

@Shayelle2009 how was the date?!!

Hey @Eesha morning all. Date was ok but not bothered if I see him again. We had drinks then he wanted to go for food.. which I wasn’t bothered about but we went along.. bill comes.. I offered to pay my half which he accepted but honestly and I know I’ll get flamed for this but paying half doesn’t impress me. At the end of the night he told me I remind him of some (not saying name here) average looking woman on the TV. I don't care if I never see him again but same time he wasn’t a bad bloke and I didn't strongly dislike him as such.
Came home deleted his contact details and tinder once more and will have another ‘holiday’ from the apps. I find it is best for me to have regular weeks off them all and just hop on every so often for a short time
Also I’m quite small but I can really put away the alcohol. I don't know if he was trying hard to get me pissed… amber flag

@BelladiMamma hope you have a lovely trip! Im jealous of you getting to see your family abroad 🙂 (my loved ones are abroad and I miss them badly)
@Eesha how’s day 2 of the diet? 🙂
@cravingthelook hope you're having a lovely holiday
@Isitreallyme777 glad mr cricket has shown you kindness and support when you've needed it
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards dating shouldn't be like that sweet it shouldn't be making you feel horrid like that. Would s as break from it help do you think?
@SpringlikeBunk you need to write a book! The Adventures of Spring 😁😁
@Dancerinthemoonlight hope you hear from MrSpontaneous…

Have a lovely day everyone x

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma hope you have a lovely trip! Im jealous of you getting to see your family abroad 🙂 (my loved ones are abroad and I miss them badly)
@Eesha how’s day 2 of the diet? 🙂
@cravingthelook hope you're having a lovely holiday
@Isitreallyme777 glad mr cricket has shown you kindness and support when you've needed it
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards dating shouldn't be like that sweet it shouldn't be making you feel horrid like that. Would s as break from it help do you think?
@SpringlikeBunk you need to write a book! The Adventures of Spring 😁😁
@Dancerinthemoonlight hope you hear from MrSpontaneous…

Have a lovely day everyone x[/quote]
@Shayelle yes, maybe. I'm trying to take it slowly and just chat this time, so that there isn't the pressure of dating in the background ❤️

That’s good @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sometimes it’s just nice having random chats with people isn’t it 💗

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma hope you have a lovely trip! Im jealous of you getting to see your family abroad 🙂 (my loved ones are abroad and I miss them badly)
@Eesha how’s day 2 of the diet? 🙂
@cravingthelook hope you're having a lovely holiday
@Isitreallyme777 glad mr cricket has shown you kindness and support when you've needed it
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards dating shouldn't be like that sweet it shouldn't be making you feel horrid like that. Would s as break from it help do you think?
@SpringlikeBunk you need to write a book! The Adventures of Spring 😁😁
@Dancerinthemoonlight hope you hear from MrSpontaneous…

Have a lovely day everyone x[/quote]
Thanks Shayelle. I'm really hoping they take away the quarantine whilst I'm away. Am now a bit nervous about getting my test done and hoping it comes back negative and on time; I'm leaving very early Monday morning and really don't want the disappointment of having to stay or rebook. But you've got to be ready for anything with travel these days!!

I also realised that out of the 4 family members I'm visiting, 3 of them are single. 🤔 that either says something about my family or maybe it's just that I don't see the married in a routine ones so much.

@Shayelle2009

That’s good *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* sometimes it’s just nice having random chats with people isn’t it 💗

@Shayelle indeed ❤️

@BelladiMamma you know you have to get one for the way back as well… another £80., you have to get that in France.. who knows where from. Then tests on day 2 and 8 on the return as I understand it.. another £150. This is why i postponed my visit 😞 the money and complication of it all was getting out of control just for a few days visit 💔

@Shayelle2009 so am I because I needed it. I just arranged for her cremation and my heart is broken into little pieces again, I was holding it together this morning until then.

Shame about your date, it seems it was just a little middle of the road then?

[quote Shayelle2009]@BelladiMamma you know you have to get one for the way back as well… another £80., you have to get that in France.. who knows where from. Then tests on day 2 and 8 on the return as I understand it.. another £150. This is why i postponed my visit 😞 the money and complication of it all was getting out of control just for a few days visit 💔[/quote]
Yes I saw that - there's somewhere near my Dad's that was offering them for free. Then I need to get tested for release when I get back. Such a faff. Dad lives alone and has been in and out of hospital this year and I'm the only next of kin ... it's a Fucking nightmare but at least it's somewhere nice to visit ... think Jean de Florette etc ... oh yes and my dad literally looks like Gerard Depardieu ... all the nurses swoon over him in the hospital, I think that's why he keeps going back 😂

@Dancerinthemoonlight thanks for the new thread and good luck with your interview! Hope it goes well and they scoop you up for the job! I'd probably wait with MrSpontaneous if i were you. Someone mentioned on here could be spring that often pulling away brings them back? Hard to do but because waiting and wondering is a crappy feeling i know been there way to many times. And you are right there are plenty of men who would jump at the chance to get in touch. Hope it pans out the way you want!

So much to catch up on!
@Isitreallyme777 i hope you're feeling a little better. We only recently got our pet (pug puppy) and i can't remember life without her now! Sending you a
@Heartbeats0708 so pleased your weekend was nice with MrD. We were in such similar head-spaces last week and I am so happy to say I had a similiar weekend with MrElf as you did. So easy to spend time with him and we got close (yay!) it was very enjoyable, and you never know what to expect so i'm very happy. I've had a few niggly thoughts though today (he left yesterday) with 'is it too good to be true'. He's given me no reason to doubt him, he wants to be exclusive which does make me happy although we're moving fast which i promised myself i wouldn't do this time round. Anyway i'm trying to relax into it and just enjoy myself. Seeing him again tuesday or wednesday this week. Good luck with your next dates!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards so pleased this one didn't try to invite you to his house or himself over to yours. May have missed a later post but did you go on the date already? Any good? good name too (although i'm picturing like a Jason Statham type or maybe The Rock...am i waaay off the mark here)
@Eesha buy a skipping rope and get some 90's trance/techno on the go!... this is my wake-up routine most morning and tons of skipping workouts on pinterest. (Maybeeee triple up on the sports-bras)
@HopefulDoubtful i'm sorry to hear this but can really relate. This happened with my long-distance man too. Everything was so bright/rosy in the beginning and whenever we did manage to see each i felt like i was on cloud 9 and we were headed in the same direction and wanted the same things. Daily msgs/video calls instigated by him as well. But contact really fizzled out after about 6 months and i never managed to get any clear reason as to why. I got the very same vague answers/messages you are getting which is really frustrating. I don't really know what advice to give as it is hard to tell how similar your situation really is to mine but i wish i'd walked away much sooner than i did. It slowly turned into a FWB/FB situation which was not what i wanted at all. But i was hooked and too available for him (sex was amaaaazing) Eventually but its taken a lot of time i was able to resist his texts ( he would randomly reappear after 2-3weeks of silence and of course i'd come running ) and really accept the fact that we were never going to be what was promised in the beginning by him. However that being said as it seems to be early stages and as you say you both do have busy lives is it worth having a conversation about how you see your futures together? Is the holiday you've planned still on the cards?
@BelladiMamma love the sound of MrNear. Good of the other one to be honest about the anxiety issue but agree would be a red flag for me.
@SpringlikeBunk i think you have to write a book, your posts are so good. I cannot believe how bold you are and it seems to come so naturally to you. I can understand the way you must feel about MrC where its the furture plans that just don't seem to fit yet everything else does. Buuuuttttt sounds like you still got a fair few plates spinning at the moment. No clue how you keep them spinning, i'm having trouble keeping feelings in check with just one on the go

Wow that is soo much longer than i intended it to be! Hope you don't all fall asleep trying to get through that

[quote Naimee87]**@Dancerinthemoonlight* thanks for the new thread and good luck with your interview! Hope it goes well and they scoop you up for the job! I'd probably wait with MrSpontaneous if i were you. Someone mentioned on here could be spring* that often pulling away brings them back? Hard to do but because waiting and wondering is a crappy feeling i know been there way to many times. And you are right there are plenty of men who would jump at the chance to get in touch. Hope it pans out the way you want!

So much to catch up on!
@Isitreallyme777 i hope you're feeling a little better. We only recently got our pet (pug puppy) and i can't remember life without her now! Sending you a
@Heartbeats0708 so pleased your weekend was nice with MrD. We were in such similar head-spaces last week and I am so happy to say I had a similiar weekend with MrElf as you did. So easy to spend time with him and we got close (yay!) it was very enjoyable, and you never know what to expect so i'm very happy. I've had a few niggly thoughts though today (he left yesterday) with 'is it too good to be true'. He's given me no reason to doubt him, he wants to be exclusive which does make me happy although we're moving fast which i promised myself i wouldn't do this time round. Anyway i'm trying to relax into it and just enjoy myself. Seeing him again tuesday or wednesday this week. Good luck with your next dates!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards so pleased this one didn't try to invite you to his house or himself over to yours. May have missed a later post but did you go on the date already? Any good? good name too (although i'm picturing like a Jason Statham type or maybe The Rock...am i waaay off the mark here)
@Eesha buy a skipping rope and get some 90's trance/techno on the go!... this is my wake-up routine most morning and tons of skipping workouts on pinterest. (Maybeeee triple up on the sports-bras)
@HopefulDoubtful i'm sorry to hear this but can really relate. This happened with my long-distance man too. Everything was so bright/rosy in the beginning and whenever we did manage to see each i felt like i was on cloud 9 and we were headed in the same direction and wanted the same things. Daily msgs/video calls instigated by him as well. But contact really fizzled out after about 6 months and i never managed to get any clear reason as to why. I got the very same vague answers/messages you are getting which is really frustrating. I don't really know what advice to give as it is hard to tell how similar your situation really is to mine but i wish i'd walked away much sooner than i did. It slowly turned into a FWB/FB situation which was not what i wanted at all. But i was hooked and too available for him (sex was amaaaazing) Eventually but its taken a lot of time i was able to resist his texts ( he would randomly reappear after 2-3weeks of silence and of course i'd come running ) and really accept the fact that we were never going to be what was promised in the beginning by him. However that being said as it seems to be early stages and as you say you both do have busy lives is it worth having a conversation about how you see your futures together? Is the holiday you've planned still on the cards?
@BelladiMamma love the sound of MrNear. Good of the other one to be honest about the anxiety issue but agree would be a red flag for me.
@SpringlikeBunk i think you have to write a book, your posts are so good. I cannot believe how bold you are and it seems to come so naturally to you. I can understand the way you must feel about MrC where its the furture plans that just don't seem to fit yet everything else does. Buuuuttttt sounds like you still got a fair few plates spinning at the moment. No clue how you keep them spinning, i'm having trouble keeping feelings in check with just one on the go [/quote]
I think you got me mixed up but that's cool 😎 I will have an update soon as I dipped my toe in with a couple of previous irons with a 'hi how's life' message and have had some promising responses.

I do feel for Mr Bear 🐻 as he thought he was in love with me but tbh that was part of what put me off. Too much, too suffocating, too much responsibility

@Naimee87 thank you. I'm okay, little things make me smile when I remember her but arranging her cremation broke me, I called a friend from work for a chat which kept my mind off it. I think once I get her back I can get closure at the moment it is still so raw.