Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Iamclearlyamug fantastic news, congrats

By the way thank you to everyone for their kind comments re dodgy smear.

I've booked to go next week on my ex's BUPA which due to his chaotic schedule he still hasn't taken me off. I'll let him know next week once it's done and dusted that he's done the mother of his DC this caring favour 🙈😁

@BelladiMamma

By the way thank you to everyone for their kind comments re dodgy smear.

I've booked to go next week on my ex's BUPA which due to his chaotic schedule he still hasn't taken me off. I'll let him know next week once it's done and dusted that he's done the mother of his DC this caring favour 🙈😁

@BelladiMamma sending you lots of love and good vibes. ❤️😘❤️😘

Hi Everyone. Just found this thread after rejoining tinder. The rule about having a thick skin...how do I get that? I was feeling quite confident and went to meet a lovely guy I'd been chatting to for a few weeks, it was very clear when we met that he didn't like what he saw :(.

He was polite and still made an effort but I feel hideous now and my self esteem is shot to bits.

Ohh it’s his loss. He’s cleared the path for the next better thing to come. He sounds very shallow too.
Bullet dodged.

@Scabber I feel similar to you. I've had some bad experiences on OLD that have made me lose some of my confidence.

If you need to, please take a break and give yourself time 🙂

But don't give up because of this. Keep chatting to men and be yourself! This guy sounds really shallow and rude, and you will find someone better who will accept you and treat you as you deserve ❤️

@Scabber its rubbish but i would just ensure my pics reflect me so mine are with glasses or full length plus ive done a few video calls. You'll never know till you meet but at least you would both have a rough idea.

It sounds like everyone is getting loads of dates! Nada for me. Things with Mr Computer have tailed off due to his work. Still in touch but no flirting. Job has become hectic for me but a good challenge for me and I'm glad im working!

@SpringlikeBunk i love a manly man.... what's his job or is it too 'outing' to say.
@Shayelle2009 nice to hear you're doing fine and enjoying your apps break.
@BelladiMamma definitely would be creeped out best move swiftly on from that weirdo.
@Isitreallyme777 sending you for today
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards nice to hear about MrSpecs

OMG this week feels like its two rolled into one. Cannot wait for the weekend need to get on top of my flat which feels like a bit of junkyard. Juggling work/school holiday shenanigans makes me really need a holiday but got another 2.5weeks to go till i'm email/meeting/laptop free! Truck lessons next week then the exam is early August... got to get my focus back into that too.

Midweek would be impossible. He’s two hours away. He has his own business and works long hours. I suggested a call last night and he agreed straight away, so maybe he feels the same. It’s been two months but in reality we’ve met up 6 times so early days. I just wonder if this will be enough for me and should I get out before it’s harder with more feelings involved. I only have my kids 50% of the time so it can lonely. But when we are together it’s easy, we have fun and the chemistry is definitely there! I’m going to chat to him this weekend ( hope I don’t come across as needy 😬) and see if he sees me as his girlfriend or how he views our relationship….

[quote Naimee87]@SpringlikeBunk i love a manly man.... what's his job or is it too 'outing' to say.
@Shayelle2009 nice to hear you're doing fine and enjoying your apps break.
@BelladiMamma definitely would be creeped out best move swiftly on from that weirdo.
@Isitreallyme777 sending you for today
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards nice to hear about MrSpecs

OMG this week feels like its two rolled into one. Cannot wait for the weekend need to get on top of my flat which feels like a bit of junkyard. Juggling work/school holiday shenanigans makes me really need a holiday but got another 2.5weeks to go till i'm email/meeting/laptop free! Truck lessons next week then the exam is early August... got to get my focus back into that too.[/quote]
@Naimee87 🙂😘

Well son 2 tested positive for Covid yesterday, so that's 2 down....still chatting to Mr NotTooFar, he's still keen to meet once I'm out of isolation but as it's getting closer my old overthinking ways are creeping back....

Im freaking out a bit 😬

My 3 month wonder iron who I have been NC with for months now has sent me a birthday card in the post. Took me sooo long to forget him.

I really want to reach out and thank him but I'm not sure what to do, it might set me back speaking again but it's polite to I suppose.

Is this normal for an old iron ? I was hoping I could enjoy my day tomorrow but this is going to be on mind now (again).....

And he signed off....

Lots of love and kisses, am I.overthinking this.

@bangheadhere40

And he signed off....

Lots of love and kisses, am I.overthinking this.

I can't remember the back story here, was it a negative or positive experience overall for you?

@bangheadhere40 why are you NC?
Do you want to talk to him?
Start with those questions then we can think more

@Dee03

Well son 2 tested positive for Covid yesterday, so that's 2 down....still chatting to Mr NotTooFar, he's still keen to meet once I'm out of isolation but as it's getting closer my old overthinking ways are creeping back....

Oh my goodness poor you! Hope things improve from here

I got a message at 7.15 from psychotherapist in training guy. It was a polite ending of things. I was delighted. Sent a polite message back then unmatched and blocked. Don't need a random man off the internet in my contacts

It was long and drawn out...in the end he never made time for me etc, would still contact me though...just not see me.

I was so into him but I know what a bad effect it had on my mental health. I'd love to talk to him but I went NC as it was soo hard being in touch and knowing he was on dating sites etc.

So the other 3 low level meets that I had were to walk dogs, I have postponed as the pups have had kennel cough and aren't quite symptom free. They're probably not infectious but it's a good way of not planning any meet ups for the next week or two.

That gives me time to process my health news, relax, meet with MrBeard - who is U.K. for an earlier meet but actually now I'm not sure if I want to be rushing around trying to fit him in whilst I'm feeling a bit fragile.

An iron I matched with has 'adventurous attitude' in his profile. Just checking it's not code?! Should I ask him?!

@bangheadhere40

It was long and drawn out...in the end he never made time for me etc, would still contact me though...just not see me.

I was so into him but I know what a bad effect it had on my mental health. I'd love to talk to him but I went NC as it was soo hard being in touch and knowing he was on dating sites etc.

Oooh tough one. He might just be trying to keep you on side ... doesn't always sit so well when you get something like that out of the blue. Maybe just breathe through it and resist the urge to contact him?

Thank you 😊 it's my birthday tomorrow so I can send something then if I want.

I really want to speak to him sooo much but I know that's all he ever wants to do - chat and not meet 😫

I'm not sure, it's sweet he remembered I think.

Totally forgot that I'm supposed to be meeting a new potential iron today after work lol 😂

It may not amount to anything as we haven't actually spoken yet and I don't even know if he's interested! My friend is sort of setting me up with her friend as she knows how much bad luck I've had with guys and knows that this one is at least a nice guy if nothing else.

A quick Facebook stalk reveals we actually do have quite a bit in common and he is quite attractive so you never know! Never had a blind date before 😂 I guess we'll see what happens 😊

Well @bangheadhere40 it's one of two things

1. he genuinely missed you and thinks a birthday card is a way to contact you with being full on
2. he wants you back to chat to and rekindle what was before with no additional effort.

I would.... sent a short polite thank you tomorrow. If he tries to initiate conversation again. Respond straight up. 'Although it's great to hear from you and nice you remembered my birthday, I don't wish to restart a conversation that doesn't lead to any actual dating, therefore I wish you well'

That way you are politely closing it off and giving him the reason why. If he genuinely thinks he was an arse he will do something about it ... or he'll crawl back under his rock. Either way - Problem solved and you are the sensible one.

@bangheadhere40 this would throw me completely, especially as its a CARD IN THE POST! I got a really really nice happy birthday text message from MrS who had been NC for six weeks before that... no clue why, eventually realised he was stringing me along. My situation was so similar to yours, i really really really liked him but he made no effort to meet up unless it was for sex. I never responded to his birthday texts even though i wanted to SO badly. I tried to forget about it as i didn't want him controlling my feelings on my birthday. I feel for you! Let us know what you end up doing! Either way we're here for you!
@troobleflooble have fun tonight. Anyone remember blind date from back in the day with Cila Black... back when OLD was unheard of? anyone?

They do sound similar Naimee...I felt so strung along.

I'm glad it's not just me that's feeling like this over a damn card.

Thanks craving....I will thank him tomorrow, I guess I've nothing to lose by saying what you have suggested!