Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

[quote VanGoghsDog]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards- thank you, hope you feel better soon!

@BelladiMamma

Thank you. It'd be nice to have a diagnosis though.[/quote]
@VanGoghsDog thank you ❤️

@WeWantTheFinestWines looking forward to hearing about your video chat! ❤️

@MayEye Have you heard from Mr TG? Has it been 2 weeks yet?

@vangoghsdog I'm happy that your results were normal and hopefully you will get a diagnosis soon.

@onwardseverstridingonwards I hope your infection clears up quickly.

Today has been a day. Had a waste of my time interview that was a no from me due to various reasons.
I also broke my tooth and the dentist say they can't fit me in until September. I wasn't on the mood to argue so that's a job for tomorrow.

Hopefully good things will start coming my way and at least I'm doing something to change my circumstances which makes baby steps in the right direction

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@vangoghsdog I'm happy that your results were normal and hopefully you will get a diagnosis soon.

@onwardseverstridingonwards I hope your infection clears up quickly.

Today has been a day. Had a waste of my time interview that was a no from me due to various reasons.
I also broke my tooth and the dentist say they can't fit me in until September. I wasn't on the mood to argue so that's a job for tomorrow.

Hopefully good things will start coming my way and at least I'm doing something to change my circumstances which makes baby steps in the right direction[/quote]
@Dancerinthemoonlight 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@vangoghsdog I'm happy that your results were normal and hopefully you will get a diagnosis soon.

@onwardseverstridingonwards I hope your infection clears up quickly.

Today has been a day. Had a waste of my time interview that was a no from me due to various reasons.
I also broke my tooth and the dentist say they can't fit me in until September. I wasn't on the mood to argue so that's a job for tomorrow.

Hopefully good things will start coming my way and at least I'm doing something to change my circumstances which makes baby steps in the right direction[/quote]
Some silver linings in there ♥️

So I feel a bit stuck today.

I've got 3-4 offers of coffee and meets locally; a half plan to see MrBeard if I make the journey up to see him. He was very keen then back pedalled, talking about me 'making a huge effort and we don't know if we'll get on'. 🤔 yes that's kind of the point Beard, we've had a virtual friendship / interest in each other for a while now. We do have a date in the diary next week which needs far less effort.

Shall I just leave it and see how it goes on our pre arranged date? Shall I just be honest with him and say I'm interested in having a sex fuelled fling might become a relationship with him but I'm time poor and don't want to waste next week pining after him when I could see him sooner and figure out if it's going anywhere ...? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I need to borrow some of @cravingthelook va va boom and @SpringlikeBunk sensible head. Or just dive in and enjoy the emotional carnage 😂

Shall I just stick around locally and see how the coffees etc are? Catch up with friends / book myself a spa day / hang out with my animals.

DC are away and I have leave.

@FireandBrimstone - Welcome to the thread and good luck in your search!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - Ouch! I hope you feel better soon

I had another video call with MrMud last night. He was as lovely as ever, but we still haven't solved the problem that the only time my daughter is at her dads are the days he has his daughter! I think I'm going to have to broach the subject with him, I can't help but think this might be the end of the line for us. Much as I don't want to finish with him, I need a physical relationship with dates and going out together regularly, I just don't think he has time for that (it's like MrPosh all over again!)

So it looks like I have another free weekend without a date

[quote Dirtyduck]@FireandBrimstone - Welcome to the thread and good luck in your search!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - Ouch! I hope you feel better soon

I had another video call with MrMud last night. He was as lovely as ever, but we still haven't solved the problem that the only time my daughter is at her dads are the days he has his daughter! I think I'm going to have to broach the subject with him, I can't help but think this might be the end of the line for us. Much as I don't want to finish with him, I need a physical relationship with dates and going out together regularly, I just don't think he has time for that (it's like MrPosh all over again!)

So it looks like I have another free weekend without a date [/quote]
I hear you. I think it's just an inevitable consequence of our stages in life. You either take the plunge and decide that you're introducing the DC or 'merging' or move on. Or, I am increasingly thinking, there's a third way. I'm thinking one or two FWB 🤷🏻‍♀️

On another note, I think the 'merging' happens so quickly because people are not keen to make the time compromises. That's what my ex has done but I feel it's much harder on the DC who then have to be involved in their parents' personal lives. But that's just me.

Shall I just be honest with him and say I'm interested in having a sex fuelled fling might become a relationship with him but I'm time poor and don't want to waste next week pining after him when I could see him sooner and figure out if it's going anywhere

Well, I wouldn't tell him that!

Why can't you see him sooner? He doesn't need to know about the sex/pining part.

@BelladiMamma - I think you're absolutely right. I am very wary of introducing my daughter to anyone too early, because my ex has done that in the past, I want my daughter to have one parent who isn't flitting between partners all the time. But it means my life is constantly on hold though.

@VanGoghsDog

Shall I just be honest with him and say I'm interested in having a sex fuelled fling might become a relationship with him but I'm time poor and don't want to waste next week pining after him when I could see him sooner and figure out if it's going anywhere

Well, I wouldn't tell him that!

Why can't you see him sooner? He doesn't need to know about the sex/pining part.

That was slightly ironic 😁

But yes, I could make it all about practicalities. But I'm not going to push my way in there, I've had too many people do that to me.

So hard to strike a balance

@VanGoghsDog

Shall I just be honest with him and say I'm interested in having a sex fuelled fling might become a relationship with him but I'm time poor and don't want to waste next week pining after him when I could see him sooner and figure out if it's going anywhere

Well, I wouldn't tell him that!

Why can't you see him sooner? He doesn't need to know about the sex/pining part.

He's just soft back pedalled in a way that makes me feel I need to just hold off a bit.

I would love to jump in with both feet with this one, but I now can't figure out what his soft back pedalling is about. I hate that.

[quote Dirtyduck]@BelladiMamma - I think you're absolutely right. I am very wary of introducing my daughter to anyone too early, because my ex has done that in the past, I want my daughter to have one parent who isn't flitting between partners all the time. But it means my life is constantly on hold though.[/quote]
If you like MrMud, does it have to be exclusive? Can you organise some fun stuff with girlfriends? Have you ever been away by yourself? I can highly recommend it x

@VanGoghsDog that's a relief! Happy to hear! When are you likely to hear about a diagnosis?
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sending you a biscuit for when you can eat again hopefully it'll not be too too long
@BelladiMamma think you need to push for the date with MrBeard and see how you get on IRL. Do you think he could just be nervous? @dirtyduck and @BelladiMamma i can feel the frustration about having free time and being at a loose end. And not wanting to have children caught up in the early stages of getting to know people. I've let this happen in the past and its done me no favours at all. But then your life is sort of 'on hold' because free time is so hard to come by. MrElf is away and being vague about when he'll be back so far its been 'sometime this weekend'. He know's next week my son is away for a few days and i'm hoping to be spending some of the time with him. I've not been on the apps since we met which is a month ago but if he doesn't make it back then i'm pretty low on his priority list and may just have a peek see who else is out there.
@Dancerinthemoonlight sorry to hear you broke a tooth? how'd that happen... and the interview didn't pan out. This week has seriously dragged and so much uncertainty at work its looking like some big changes are headed our way. No clue if this will be positive or negative and i really need my job as my son's dad is a waste of space that i don't ever get any support from.
@FireandBrimstone hello! Looking forward to your stories!
@MayEye agree with @SpringlikeBunk i'm definitely up for some carnage if MrElf isn't coming back for the free time i have...

Have any of you flaked or cancelled on any early irons/date '0's last minute and not for an important reason... i'm just trying to figure out why so many do, do you think it's because there are just so many other options out there?

[quote Naimee87]@VanGoghsDog that's a relief! Happy to hear! When are you likely to hear about a diagnosis?
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sending you a biscuit for when you can eat again hopefully it'll not be too too long
@BelladiMamma think you need to push for the date with MrBeard and see how you get on IRL. Do you think he could just be nervous? @dirtyduck and @BelladiMamma i can feel the frustration about having free time and being at a loose end. And not wanting to have children caught up in the early stages of getting to know people. I've let this happen in the past and its done me no favours at all. But then your life is sort of 'on hold' because free time is so hard to come by. MrElf is away and being vague about when he'll be back so far its been 'sometime this weekend'. He know's next week my son is away for a few days and i'm hoping to be spending some of the time with him. I've not been on the apps since we met which is a month ago but if he doesn't make it back then i'm pretty low on his priority list and may just have a peek see who else is out there.
@Dancerinthemoonlight sorry to hear you broke a tooth? how'd that happen... and the interview didn't pan out. This week has seriously dragged and so much uncertainty at work its looking like some big changes are headed our way. No clue if this will be positive or negative and i really need my job as my son's dad is a waste of space that i don't ever get any support from.
@FireandBrimstone hello! Looking forward to your stories!
@MayEye agree with @SpringlikeBunk i'm definitely up for some carnage if MrElf isn't coming back for the free time i have...

Have any of you flaked or cancelled on any early irons/date '0's last minute and not for an important reason... i'm just trying to figure out why so many do, do you think it's because there are just so many other options out there?[/quote]
@Naimee87 thank you ❤️

[quote Dirtyduck]@FireandBrimstone - Welcome to the thread and good luck in your search!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - Ouch! I hope you feel better soon

I had another video call with MrMud last night. He was as lovely as ever, but we still haven't solved the problem that the only time my daughter is at her dads are the days he has his daughter! I think I'm going to have to broach the subject with him, I can't help but think this might be the end of the line for us. Much as I don't want to finish with him, I need a physical relationship with dates and going out together regularly, I just don't think he has time for that (it's like MrPosh all over again!)

So it looks like I have another free weekend without a date [/quote]
Thank you @Dirtyduck ❤️

[quote Naimee87]@VanGoghsDog that's a relief! Happy to hear! When are you likely to hear about a diagnosis?
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sending you a biscuit for when you can eat again hopefully it'll not be too too long
@BelladiMamma think you need to push for the date with MrBeard and see how you get on IRL. Do you think he could just be nervous? @dirtyduck and @BelladiMamma i can feel the frustration about having free time and being at a loose end. And not wanting to have children caught up in the early stages of getting to know people. I've let this happen in the past and its done me no favours at all. But then your life is sort of 'on hold' because free time is so hard to come by. MrElf is away and being vague about when he'll be back so far its been 'sometime this weekend'. He know's next week my son is away for a few days and i'm hoping to be spending some of the time with him. I've not been on the apps since we met which is a month ago but if he doesn't make it back then i'm pretty low on his priority list and may just have a peek see who else is out there.
@Dancerinthemoonlight sorry to hear you broke a tooth? how'd that happen... and the interview didn't pan out. This week has seriously dragged and so much uncertainty at work its looking like some big changes are headed our way. No clue if this will be positive or negative and i really need my job as my son's dad is a waste of space that i don't ever get any support from.
@FireandBrimstone hello! Looking forward to your stories!
@MayEye agree with @SpringlikeBunk i'm definitely up for some carnage if MrElf isn't coming back for the free time i have...

Have any of you flaked or cancelled on any early irons/date '0's last minute and not for an important reason... i'm just trying to figure out why so many do, do you think it's because there are just so many other options out there?[/quote]
I'm thinking of cancelling a date. Through chatting I've realised I'm not going to fancy him. Unsure whether to give it a go (already done a video call and he's an ok person) but also don't want to waste his time or mine and the ££ of a date/taxi/babysitter etc.

I've cancelled in the past on Fab-type meets, when they've turned pushy. But I'm pretty sure I've never flaked on a date.

Meeting Bumble chat guy for a walk Saturday, then I'm off to the cinema with a friend, so that puts a deadstop on the walk which is good.

Right. Just put some low level meets in the diary.

Gone to open my post & I have had a dodgy smear flagged from a recent screening. Fucking great. Had it in my 20's and I remember the arse ache it was to treat and to recover.

Feeling like I should cancel all the meets. At least I'm incognito on bumble so I won't get pinged.

In other news, it allowed me to see that MrBeard had in fact deleted his account after he said he would, about a month into speaking

He's said he was deleting his account after I met MrBear because he was done with OLD and I had been his last throw of the dice.

Anyway he's now gone very quiet. Hate that mind fuckery.... but the health news has rather dampened my spirits for anything romantic. So I'll just stick to the low level meets and see how things pan out ...

@BelladiMamma
Sorry to hear your news...fingers crossed it's all straight forward.

@BelladiMamma

I hope it turns out to be very mundane!

MrBeard sounds a bit odd but, to be fair to him, maybe he feels a bit off you coming back when the other person didn't work out?

I'd just keep it a bit low key for now and meet a few people for coffee.

I sort of have the opposite problem of you guys, live alone, no kids, wfh, so bags of time, and spend a lot of it alone. I need to avoid using OLD as my social scene!

Hope it's nothing too serious @BelladiMamma you've reminded me I think I'm due a smear though.
@Naimee87 no harm in having a browse, I don't like the sound of how vague Mr Elf is being, I'd hope at this early stage he'd still be eager to see you and get dates in the diary. Mr D doesn't have too many commitments but is keen to work around mine to see me. I think we're around the same timeline.

I think I know the answer to this… been dating a guy from OLD for two months. He lives quite away from me so we can only meet up every other weekend. However in between it feels very disconnected. No phone calls ( I have suggested this once) just texts, and not many each day. So it’s our weekend this weekend and he’s coming up Saturday afternoon leaving Sunday…. Last time it was Friday afternoon and left Sunday morning… I’m a booty call aren’t I? Trouble is I quite like him but feel like im doing the chasing. After two months surely it should be more than this?