Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@RobertClementHughes There are men out there who have their lives together and don't want to co-habit but I think they are snapped up fast.

Mr K has his life together and doesn't want to co-habit for at least 15 years as his son is in primary school and he wants his home to be for him and his son. When my marriage ended I was adamant I'd be single forever and never live with someone ever again, I have my kids at home, they are basically adults now and my home is their home. I'm still adamant I won't live with anyone ever again, I like my own time and space.

I see Mr K 2 - 3 times a week, at either house, we cook for each other, hang out, go places, support each other, have great sex and then the rest of the week we do our own thing (he has his son every weekend and 2 evenings after school) and it works perfectly.

This kind of relationship is called Living Apart Together, there are some great articles on it and a Facebook page which is mainly American but still good.

I think society is gradually moving that way and people are realising you can be in a serious relationship and not live together.

I've just had another quick tutorial on cricket and cricket leagues this morning. I might actually know something about cricket soon😂 (it's the one sport that I cannot get my head around).

@SortingItOut my aunt has been with her partner for something like 25/30 years, they don't live together. She says she likes it as she doesn't have to put up with his snoring every night🤣.

@Onesmallstep67 @Slothmomma sorry, I've only just seen your messages 😊

So happy there are people on the thread in my area, like you, I was thinking that every poster seemed to live in the south east 😂

Maybe we'll have to plan a meet up of our own at some point ❤️

I wonder if we've chatted to/dated the same irons if fishing in same pool 🤔🤣

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, I think meeting at some point is a lovely thought. @Slothmomma, I'm 54 and Birmingham based. I do recall once clocking something you said about being in the Midlands and thinking you and I might have been looking at the same pool of guys but onwards is definitely a lot younger - than me for sure. I've not been on the apps for over a year but had several rather eventful years prior to that in fits and starts OLD.

but had several rather eventful years prior to that in fits and starts OLD the point being there that I am sure I will have seen/talked to some of the guys you will have if we are close in age Slothmomma - lucky us

@Onesmallstep67 I'm coming up to mid 40s so there may well have been a cross over 🤣 lucky us indeed 🤣

I'm very jealous of you all meeting up, it looks like I'm all on my own in the south west!

Chat still going well with MrMud. He mentioned that he trains 3 times a week for his sport in X town which is only a 15 minutes drive from me. I thought it was weird he didn't mention before that he regularly visited somewhere so close to me. I would have thought that he could have made the effort to pop up the road to my village by now. Or at least given me the option, if he said "I'm nearby, fancy meeting for a coffee after training?" sort of thing I would have jumped at the chance!

I have had a match come up on Bumble, he looks my typical choice (Geeky, no kids etc) and in a great location for me, but he looks a little bit like my ex husband, which I find a bit of a turn off!

[quote Onesmallstep67]**@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards, I think meeting at some point is a lovely thought. @Slothmomma, I'm 54 and Birmingham based. I do recall once clocking something you said about being in the Midlands and thinking you and I might have been looking at the same pool of guys but onwards is definitely a lot younger - than me for sure. I've not been on the apps for over a year but had several rather eventful years prior to that in fits and starts OLD.[/quote]
@Onesmallstep67 that would be great 😀

I'm 28, but i think I've got a mature personality for my age. I've always preferred the company of older people though, as I find I learn a lot from them. The closest friends I have are all older than me 😊❤️

@Dancerinthemoonlight and I are meeting next Saturday in Colchester so if you live in East Anglia/South East/Middle to East and would like to join us let me know and I'll send you details.

Is anyone OLD and got any good chats going? Meet ups / dates in the pipleline? 🙂

Flame me but I’m watching Love Island! Makes me pine for a cute holiday romance! I love Liberty and Jake at the minute 🥰
(I’m 40 and cringing at myself how I still watch Love Island every year religiously 🤣)

@Shayelle2009 ill admit to being a love Island fan too 🤣

@Slothmomma it’s just nice escapism isn’t it 🥰🥰

@Shayelle2009 all quiet here, still not back on the apps. I think I'm going to see where this thing (whatever it is) with Mr Cricket goes. I can't multi chat let alone multi date and my lodger has just told me she is moving out. So on top of everything else that's happened recently I now have to find a new lodger, but my lodger can't tell me when she is moving out as she failed the credit check so I can't do anything and I'm getting pretty pissed off with her! Stress on top of stress. Mr Cricket is on holiday with his daughter for a week tomorrow, I'm off round a friend's to watch the football tomorrow and will no doubt have Mr Cricket messaging me through it.

@Shayelle2009 yeah its car crash TV- but fun yo watch

I've got a couple of good chats going on Tinder at the moment. I've paused my Hinge for the moment as it was getting too quiet.

Chatting to a couple of guys who read a lot like me. I'm just taking it slowly. If it goes somewhere, then great, if it doesn't, that's fine too.

I had a good flirty chat with a guy yesterday, but it turned out that he wanted something casual- I'm not wanting to get sucked into all that again! 🙂❤️

Haven't checked in since Wednesday so I'm going to catch up, just had to drop in and say the football was amaaaaaaazing!!!

The atmosphere was electric, the noise deafening, the action exciting, it was just like nothing else. 300 mile round trip, got to bed around 3 then up at 7 for work and school - still tired, still hoarse, but the kids have memories for life and they had the best time!

Only swiping very half heartedly and occasionally, but I hope others have hot irons on the go! Off to catch up on the thread now.

@Shayelle2009

Flame me but I’m watching Love Island! Makes me pine for a cute holiday romance! I love Liberty and Jake at the minute 🥰 (I’m 40 and cringing at myself how I still watch Love Island every year religiously 🤣)

No flames from me, I've watched every series so far! My greatest achievement is getting my very Christian bestie and her husband (the go to church every sunday type of people) totally addicted to Love Island And Jake is from my part of the woods so his accent makes me swoon.

WeWantTheFinestWines - so jealous, sounds like an amazing experience!

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Haven't checked in since Wednesday so I'm going to catch up, just had to drop in and say the football was amaaaaaaazing!!!

The atmosphere was electric, the noise deafening, the action exciting, it was just like nothing else. 300 mile round trip, got to bed around 3 then up at 7 for work and school - still tired, still hoarse, but the kids have memories for life and they had the best time!

Only swiping very half heartedly and occasionally, but I hope others have hot irons on the go! Off to catch up on the thread now.

@WeWantTheFinestWines glad you had a great time ❤️

@BelladiMamma

Re meet up, I'm still happy to organise one for the SE

I have @GaraMedouar @Shayelle2009 and @WeWantTheFinestWines as other SE dwellers ... anyone else?

I'm closer to SW than SE. I'm happy to travel though and would love a meetup.

No updates from me. Having a quiet weekend as all my plans got cancelled. I'm finding the apps pointless at the moment as men have got worse and just seem to want casual at the moment. I might take my month break a bit earlier than planned and extend it for longer.

I'm planning a list of things I want to do this summer to keep me occupied. At the end of this month I will have been single for a year with only a handful of dates since then.

I really don't get the messages, or photos, you guys all seem to get. Not sure why not.

I do get aggressive responses when I tell people no. Like MrTall. My ex last year, who I'd dated for about a year, wrote me a letter that was like a management report or performance review after we split up. I'm sure it helped him but it was really unpleasant for me to receive (it didn't say anything particularly bad, I just didn't need to read his summary of our relationship).

A guy a couple of years ago, after I dumped him, sent a text saying "have you heard of narcissistic personality disorder? Keep validating" - I'm the least narc person ever, he was so off the mark. Again, I'm sure it made him feel better, and I suppose it's helpful to confirm to me that I made the right decision!

A guy last year after I said "I'm sorry, you're too young for me", after he messaged me first on a site where you don't have to 'match' told me I was a fat ugly slut.

I don't think I get it when I'm just chatting along to people though, maybe I weed them out quickly, or they see quite quickly that I'm not open to it, or something.

And other than years ago when I was meeting men via AFF, where you expect it and I was using MSN, I've never had a dick pic or a video.

Me neither vangogh, I don't get any of the weirdness or unpleasantness. I'm very picky about who I swipe right on and tend to go for cerebral types, maybe that's why. Or maybe they find my profile a bit scary and don't dare.... who knows?

I, too, would have a problem with Mr Decorator's views. Probably wouldn't even allow him to decorate, never mind anything else.

It’s 20’s - 30’s age range I’m
matching with - really is horrific!

It feels like “the bar has moved”

so if a reasonably ok guy is used to having early sex discussions and offers of hook-ups for first meets then that’s what he’s used to?

It’s not necessarily all direct dick picks (in fact Fab is only where I’ve seen those delights)

But kind of moving early chat to sexual preferences with no prelude, or from an out date to “cooking at his ”(of course there’ll be no food ready!).

I was chatting last to someone on tinder perfectly normally and he suddenly jumped in randomly with the hookup invite - he generously said I’d be allowed to meet him first in public to decide he wasn’t even that conventionally good looking?

And it wasn’t like “drink and see what happens” but I had to “agree sex before meet”

Or I’ve got more wary of giving my number out as the “leading into dirty photo exchange” convo is so common.

rejoiningperson when you talked about your ex it’s often that format too -
A decent mainstream intelligent sounding “nice” guy who clearly is very good at playing the early game/building up a little bit of trust over the first couple days

then before you know it...

I cancelled MrDinner yesterday as too busy and found I was thinking I “ought” to keep in touch with him as he’s NOT a pest - but that’s not a high bar!

Kind of think there should be a code like “straight edge” or something to show what people are into?