Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Dancerinthemoonlight please end it with him. You're so lovely, and you are worth more than that creep ❤️

@Isitreallyme777 and @Shayelle2009 thank you so much for your messages. You both really made me smile 🙂❤️

I wish I knew you all IRL 😘❤️

I'm 100% done with him. After 1 date he expects me to beg for forgiveness and throws his toys out the pram when I question him on something. He can jog on.

Looking forward to my date Saturday evening. He has booked a table at an independent wine bar and restaurant so now I just need to decide what to wear

Good call @Dancerinthemoonlight exactly what @VanGoghsDog said. It’s a a shame after you had a nice time but why is he so aggressive?? You have a right to ask questions, you definitely don't need any of that. Nice about the date on sat.

Aww hugs @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards. You’re such a sweetie. You are all of our little sis! 😘😘

I was meant to be going for a friends birthday drinks tomorrow.. instead I’m stuck self isolating til next Thursday 🙁

@BelladiMamma I've never had a FWB and I don't think it would suit me as I would get too emotionally involved. I have a feeling if alcohol was involved it might go a bit further than it is at the moment.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards aww you are lovely too. 😘

@Isitreallyme777

I agree MrCricket sounds nice but I’d tread carefully not to get overinvested

it’s a bit like with my MrC - he’s a genuine nice guy who treats me well (if I had a crisis he’d be there like a shot). Very generous etc.

And yes I do fancy the f**k out of him - he got back from his work trip all tanned and rugged and I was like

But end of day if we’re not compatible and progressively dating it could just end up a colossal mess with blurred boundaries ?

I do think some people - Male and female - are naturally charming with good social soft skills and like taking on the “traditional good date” role

(some women are good at naturally flirting, some men are good at picking up bills)

it doesn’t necessarily mean anything more?

Cancelled on MrDinner as it’s just too much commuting out (even for a lovely planned date). Timing is not my friend here and I need to simplify my schedule

@SpringlikeBunk seeing him today I realised how much I fancy him and to top off what a nice guy he is he even told me to give my other cat a cuddle from him. But I'm trying not to get over invested.

I will call my date for Saturday Mr Wine.
In the process of booking in a date for Sunday, I will call him Mr Travel as he is always off to different parts of the UK

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@Isitreallyme777

I agree MrCricket sounds nice but I’d tread carefully not to get overinvested

it’s a bit like with my MrC - he’s a genuine nice guy who treats me well (if I had a crisis he’d be there like a shot). Very generous etc.

And yes I do fancy the f**k out of him - he got back from his work trip all tanned and rugged and I was like

But end of day if we’re not compatible and progressively dating it could just end up a colossal mess with blurred boundaries ?

I do think some people - Male and female - are naturally charming with good social soft skills and like taking on the “traditional good date” role

(some women are good at naturally flirting, some men are good at picking up bills)

it doesn’t necessarily mean anything more?[/quote]
I do wish I could be as confident as you, @SpringlikeBunk. I really do ❤️

[quote Isitreallyme777]@BelladiMamma I've never had a FWB and I don't think it would suit me as I would get too emotionally involved. I have a feeling if alcohol was involved it might go a bit further than it is at the moment.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards aww you are lovely too. 😘[/quote]
@Isitreallyme777 😘😘😘

@Shayelle2009

Good call *@Dancerinthemoonlight exactly what @VanGoghsDog* said. It’s a a shame after you had a nice time but why is he so aggressive?? You have a right to ask questions, you definitely don't need any of that. Nice about the date on sat.

Aww hugs @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards. You’re such a sweetie. You are all of our little sis! 😘😘

I was meant to be going for a friends birthday drinks tomorrow.. instead I’m stuck self isolating til next Thursday 🙁

@Shayelle2009 aww thank you! 🙂 you're so sweet ❤️

[quote Isitreallyme777]@BelladiMamma I've never had a FWB and I don't think it would suit me as I would get too emotionally involved. I have a feeling if alcohol was involved it might go a bit further than it is at the moment.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards aww you are lovely too. 😘[/quote]
Me neither, but I've realised that this may be what I need for the time being. Just can't be arsed with the expectations of a LTR. I am quite happy as I am

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I hope that you're starting to feel a bit better. I know it's a bit trite to say it, but we all have some vulnerabilities about when we'd really appreciate a partner but that you're not any less of a person or any less deserving for having them 💕

Amen to that @BelladiMamma. Nice to he happy as you are 🥰 just need a bit of.. seasoning, shall we say!! 😍

[quote BelladiMamma]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I hope that you're starting to feel a bit better. I know it's a bit trite to say it, but we all have some vulnerabilities about when we'd really appreciate a partner but that you're not any less of a person or any less deserving for having them 💕[/quote]
Thank you so much @BelladiMamma. 😘 😘 I really appreciate that 💕

@Shayelle2009

Amen to that *@BelladiMamma*. Nice to he happy as you are 🥰 just need a bit of.. seasoning, shall we say!! 😍

Yeah, but if seasoning as and when required 😊💕🤞🏽

Thank you so much to all of you. Sorry for being so annoying. ❤️

I am in a funk. Not sure why.

Dating update, can't recall where I left you guys.

Ended it with MrTall, he texted me a few days later saying I had 'thoroughly pissed him off'.
MrDecorator asked me out I said I didn't see us being in a relationship.
MrWG - this last week he's been totally absent really. I have all but given up. Last saw him Monday last week - still no chance of actually dtd due to his ED, which has not been discussed at all. I suspect his absence may be that he knows he has to face this issue. But I really don't want him to feel bad about it, and I don't want him to think I am rejecting him (nor that I would!) due to it - I wouldn't, at least not without exploring it a bit more, he's clearly successfully had sex in the not that distant past. But if he won't be in touch and hasn't brought the matter up, what can I do?
He told me he had a quiet week this week, workwise (he works odd days, sometimes days in a row, including weekends, away from home, then suddenly no work etc) but no contact.
Anyway, I had my medical procedure last Fri, which he knew about, so he did text 'hope it goes OK', I just said thanks, then later gave him an update which he didn't respond to for 23 hours. And then just very minimal and no reply to my response to that.
Sunday I texted to ask if he was around and he just replied 'no, I'm in x' and I replied 'shame', and no response.
Yesterday he sent me a cartoon, which I ignored.

I sent him a thing about Covid tests that would be useful and got a thumbs up then a photo some vehicle thing saying 'my new toy' (I have no idea what it is). I've not replied.

Meanwhile - MrDecorator has texted me every day, asking how I am after procedure, even asking if I need anything, offering to bring me a DVD to watch, texted me during footie as I was out walking and he kept me updated with score, then exchanges when I got back (MrWG doesn't do football at all).

Few bits of jokey banter. I did ask if he wanted to meet for a drink tomorrow but he has his kids.

And I got back in touch with my FB from about two and a half years ago - one of those years I was in a relationship and another was Covid. He's up for it, so now my medical stuff is done just looking to find a time for a good shag!!!

I have a chat on Bumble, he seems a bit geeky but just gentle chat, no pressure, quite light hearted but also not incomprehensible 'banter'. I'll try and meet up with him soon I think.

Why am I in a funk? My counsellor says I need conflict in a relationship due to the way my family behaved as a child. It's depressing!

Both Tinder and Bumble are paused, might reopen Tinder and see what happens.

Anyway, for the stalkers of you out there, I found an app called Yamsa which lets you see when someone comes online on WA so you don't have to have it open to see them pop up. MrWG has his 'last seen' off and no blue ticks on, so I only see literally when he is 'online' if I am. It's interesting to see he has logged in about four times tonight but each time only for less than a minute. When he last texted me earlier he was on for about 30 seconds.

I'll take him off it soon, but was just wondering.....

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - you're not annoying, you have some challenges there but you seen very positive in the face of them. My counsellor told me to just meet loads of people, not specifically men, not specifically looking for relationship, just to see what kind of people I like.

I mean, I'm 53 and I work in HR on short term contracts - I meet LOADS of people, so her advice was way off the mark for me, frankly, but she's not wrong generally :)

[quote VanGoghsDog]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards - you're not annoying, you have some challenges there but you seen very positive in the face of them. My counsellor told me to just meet loads of people, not specifically men, not specifically looking for relationship, just to see what kind of people I like.

I mean, I'm 53 and I work in HR on short term contracts - I meet LOADS of people, so her advice was way off the mark for me, frankly, but she's not wrong generally :)[/quote]
@VanGoghsDog thank you. 🙂

That's what I'm trying to do now. I'm hoping that if I just chat and not put too much pressure on myself of getting a relationship or date out of it immediately, that would work better for me.

I do try to be positive. I'm having some good days and some bad days at the moment, so My moods can be up and down ❤️😘

@VanGoghsDog sounds like you've been a bit all over the place 😘

Glad that Mr Decorator has been keeping in contact. He sounds really lovely ❤️

[quote OnwardsEverStridingOnwards]@VanGoghsDog sounds like you've been a bit all over the place 😘

Glad that Mr Decorator has been keeping in contact. He sounds really lovely ❤️[/quote]
He is lovely, and very dishy. And keen on me. Maybe I need to explore a bit more his views on things, but I really don't like the Boris adulation and rants about immigrants and benefit claimants.

I should add, having thought about it, I am now waiting for the results from eighteen biopsies, so I suppose that is on my mind a bit. Work has been a combination of suddenly very pressured with deadlines, and dull to the point of not much to do so I just read MN. And today I didn't leave the house, not going to let that happen tomorrow.

@VanGoghsDog he wouldn't get on with me then! I'm a benefits claimant.

Sending you lots of luck with your biopsy results ❤️😘

@VanGoghsDog I’m sure waiting for biopsy results aren’t going to make you feel all happy and lighthearted, plus if work’s crap this week… the uncertainty of MrWG who you really like… all of it adds up to not a massive amount of joy at this moment in time, so no wonder you feel a little glum. I felt really down earlier in the week after a bad date and work was horrendous, but things do pick up again. Its ebbs and flows isn’t it.
Wishing you positive news on the biopsies too.. and at least it’s Friday, hopefully you can log off for the weekend, hopefully go out and do something nice just for yourself?

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I like @VanGoghsDog counsellor’s advice there about meeting people.. it’s tricky though as you try and put yourself out there and find new activities to do and you may chat to people, but it takes a long time to form bonds and it’s not always easy at the minute socialising with restrictions and things.. let's see if it all eases, but sounds risky to be fair and I think it’s not going to be a smooth road ahead for for us all
(So sorry to be the voice of doom!)