Dating Thread 207 - hot summer of fun

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@areyouhavingagiraffe

Joining! Have a Bumble date tonight with a Mr. Dapper. Haven't had a date since pre-pandemic. Have had various matches on Apps but seems to fizzle out. Mr Dapper seems cute and suggested drinks. He has booked a table for food / drinks. Don't usually do food on a first meet.

@areyouhavingagiraffe 🤞🏻❤️

@BelladiMamma hope your dogs get better soon ❤️

Am feeling crap with my legs today. It's times like this I could do with a man's reassurance. I do feel really useless when I'm like this, and worry about turning them off ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards what exactly is your disability i never did ask hope you don't mind that i do? Are you in pain today, sorry to hear this if you are. If the weather by you is anything like by us it is pretty rubbish. Making me feel pretty lethargic an i've no motivation for much else.

I have no motivation today whatsoever just cant be arsed at all!!

[quote Naimee87]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards what exactly is your disability i never did ask hope you don't mind that i do? Are you in pain today, sorry to hear this if you are. If the weather by you is anything like by us it is pretty rubbish. Making me feel pretty lethargic an i've no motivation for much else.[/quote]
@Naimee87 cerebral palsy. It affects the left side of my body. I don't use a wheelchair but it can get pretty painful ❤️

I do have a wheelchair actually, but haven't been able to use it ❤️

I had a nice couple of hours with Mr Cricket, again we chatted the full two hours with no awkward silences and again he paid. Would it be weird if I asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner as he never let's me pay?

Oh and man I fancy him 🤦‍♀️ 😂😬.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sorry you are having a tough day. I'm finding men bring nothing but negativity to my life right now so not best place to offer advice.

I have to end it with my coffee. I'll never feel confident with him. Will never be able to relax around him. Always be worried about eating in front of him and no longer want him to touch me.
He's made me feel like utter shit about myself.

@FluffyFluffMonster you will feel instantly better when you bin him. No one should make you feel like that, your confidence will be shot if you stay with him.

@FluffyFluffMonster, please don’t let him have that affect upon you. It’s not great that he has the attitudes that he has but you don’t have to tolerate them. He’s going to be single a good while whereas you will find someone who thinks you are just perfect as you are.

[quote FluffyFluffMonster]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sorry you are having a tough day. I'm finding men bring nothing but negativity to my life right now so not best place to offer advice.

I have to end it with my coffee. I'll never feel confident with him. Will never be able to relax around him. Always be worried about eating in front of him and no longer want him to touch me.
He's made me feel like utter shit about myself. [/quote]
@FluffyFluffMonster ❤️❤️❤️

@Isitreallyme777

I had a nice couple of hours with Mr Cricket, again we chatted the full two hours with no awkward silences and again he paid. Would it be weird if I asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner as he never let's me pay?

Oh and man I fancy him 🤦‍♀️ 😂😬.

@Isitreallyme777 no, it doesn't sound weird at all 🙂 I'd go for it! ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I'm sorry you're having a bad day. The right man won't be bothered if you're having a bad day or be turned off by it, the right man will treat you like a princess regardless of bad day or not. 😘❤

I think I'll drop dinner into conversation at some point.

@FluffyFluffMonster I wouldnt meet up with him to end it. A phone call or text will be ok. You don't need to face any bad reaction he may well present you with. You don’t owe him anything!! A man should make you feel sexy and amazing… not like shit.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards sorry you are suffering 😔x

@Isitreallyme777 that sounds so lovely glad you had a great time. If it was me I would invite him I just wouldn't make any moves whatsoever in case it frightens him off!!

Nothing from MrTrades today wonder if he only messaged last night as he was laggin at the football!!! We shall see 🙂

Mr Spontaneous just messaged me again saying 'I guess you really don't believe me'
He looked on my LinkedIn last night and his still wasn't saying he is currently employed. The last messages he sent about 'when you do realise let's hope it's not too late' just made me feel really uncomfortable and like he was emotionally manipulating me.

Any idea of what i respond ?

Well he has just been a huge passive aggressive dickhead and sent me a video showing me around his office as 'i don't believe him' and 'he doesn't know why but that's on you'

@Dancerinthemoonlight yeah, I would just bin him off after that. Why is he being so weird about it? Why make comments like 'let's hope it's not too late'?! Well if he's that annoyed about what you said, it's either too late or it isn't, surely?

Seems like he wants you to beg forgiveness and try your hardest to 'make it up to him' 🤨

@Shayelle2009 thanks, he is going away next week with his daughter so I'll ask him when he gets back.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

Well he has just been a huge passive aggressive dickhead and sent me a video showing me around his office as 'i don't believe him' and 'he doesn't know why but that's on you'

Was his office in Twatsville? Population - 1, MrSpontaneous!

It's not that you don't believe him, it's just a niggle when things don't add up with no explanation. And now he's being a total knob. Any time you ever question him, he'll get a bit more knobbish.

And "hope it's not too late" is both manipulativr and vaguely threatening. "That's on you", nah mate, it's on you being shonky about the truth.

I'd chuck him back. After just one date, I'd just text and say "sorry, it's not working for me, good luck on your search".

@Dancerinthemoonlight, I don’t know what you are comfortable with but I think I would send a message saying that on balance it’s probably best if you call a halt to communicating and wish him good luck. Some people can behave very strangely as we have all experienced online. I would extricate myself without any further opportunity for him to get more manipulative with messages.

@troobleflooble yes he wanted me to appologise for accusing him and when I wouldn't he said we are done here. That I obviously have trust issues. No I just dont trust a man I hardly know and if you are going to put your surname on a dating app then you should expect people to look on Instagram, LinkedIn etc

@Isitreallyme777

I had a nice couple of hours with Mr Cricket, again we chatted the full two hours with no awkward silences and again he paid. Would it be weird if I asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner as he never let's me pay?

Oh and man I fancy him 🤦‍♀️ 😂😬.

I'm thinking if he comes to the house you will end up with a FWB situation? Do you want that? Or maybe you have way better boundaries than me and could make sure you didn't go to bed with him ... 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@troobleflooble yes he wanted me to appologise for accusing him and when I wouldn't he said we are done here. That I obviously have trust issues. No I just dont trust a man I hardly know and if you are going to put your surname on a dating app then you should expect people to look on Instagram, LinkedIn etc[/quote]
The fact he even thinks you should trust him is a red flag, it's disrespectful and trying to erode your boundaries.
Decent people know that trust takes time to build and has to be earned.

@Dancerinthemoonlight yeah, you are done there, doesn't sound like much of a loss. Disappointing, but if he expects you to grovel for forgiveness after every little misunderstanding then you're better off without 😁