Ex and I split a couple of years ago. Very amicable and we've remained good friends. We still do "family" things like meals out with our two sons (16 and 12).
When we split, we agreed what he'd pay me in child maintenance - £500 a month. He takes home about £2500 so I knew it was broadly about right but we didn't calculate it in any particular detail. I just wanted enough to be able to stay in the house. We were not married so there's no spousal maintenance. I earn a similar amount.
We were fortunate that his mother gave him £150k towards a new property. I stayed in our house and he effectively has a charge on the property for his share of the equity which is to be paid to him when the youngest child leaves full time education. The children stay with him every Wednesday and EOW although we're fairly flexible about this.
Money has always been a problem between us. We disagreed about whether big payments for things like school trips or scout camp should be included within the monthly amount he pays. I thought he should contribute to them but he felt otherwise.
As growing boys, our sons need new clothes. I don't have any problem with buying what they need but, when I suggested to ex that he might buy the odd item of clothing, he said he'd do that if he could deduct £100 from my maintenance! I've had to buy things like extra deodorant and hair gel because the boys say they don't have any at his place. I've told him very clearly he needs to include these items in his weekly grocery shop as necessary.
Last month ex told me he intends to build a home gym at a cost of £6,000. He lives across the road from our local leisure centre! I managed not to roll my eyes too loudly. It's all BS and I suspect will never happen.
Now covid restrictions have started to lift, the boys are back at activities. Eldest decided he didn't want to return to Scouts. It costs £11 per month. I told ex. When I received my maintenance he'd deducted £5.50 and paid me £494.50!
I didn't shout or get shitty, just told him I was pretty disappointed that he was so tight with money. He just shrugged it off and said he thought it was fair. I thought he might change it back after our conversation but this month he's done the same.
£5.50 shouldn't bother me. It's not worth getting into a war. But I'm sooo pissed off about it. I feel like asking for his payslips so we can just do it all formally. I also feel like I don't want to spend any more time in the company of this selfish man who would send his kids to school in torn trousers than fork out for a new pair.
Any ideas on how to handle the situation? Read him the riot act or just let it go..?