Weekend only relationship

[Fustyoldface]

Just posting to ask if I’m overthinking really. Year and a half with partner still only see each other on the weekends, only really talk on the weekends aside from the odd surface type text during the week. I find it hard to stay connected, he says he is happy. I have said it feels a bit like we are repeating the same conversations etc and could we see each other more or talk about the future but he either changes the subject or says he’s fine with it. Am I being dramatic?

If I am honest I find him quite self centred and rude though.

Maybe. It feels like it. He is 50.

Mixture of both really.

Wow nice ego stroke for him to date someone so much younger. Just end it @Fustyoldface. If you lit it fizzle out he would pull you right back in when he wants you. He is too set in his ways at 50 to change. I think he just likes the convenience as trust me unless he is a super catch finding dates at his age would be very tough.

FWIW I do think relationships can progress slowly but in this case he seems to go backwards. Sorry. Just pull the band aid and end it.

OP,

He wants to suit himself.
He is not that into you.
He will drop you if someone he prefers comes along.
You are a convenience.

Stop wasting time on him.
You are NOT needy.

He is a dick.

I say do it now, before he does.

He isn't making you happy, and you feel he's pulling away. He won't see you more or discuss the future.

I think if you finish it now (fake it til you make it - say 'Sorry this isn't working for me anymore. No hard feelings.') you will be very glad you did it.

If you don't, it will either drag on like this getting gradually worse over time, making you more miserable and doubting yourself. Or he'll end it soon. Either way it looks unlikely to last.

There's better for you out there - ditch him and enjoy being single / you might just meet someone who wants to spend time with you.

@Fustyoldface

So his communication is getting sparser and colder and all about him. Do I just let this fizzle out?

No! Cut him off. Block and Delete him on everything. Because if you don't, I can garantee you he'll come circling back around once his other supply of sex dries up. Because you let him get away with being so inattentive he now thinks he can always get back in touch with you at a later date when he wants more sex.

TL;DR: He is trash and you deserve better. Block and Delete.

You don't sound needy OP

I know needy, that's the boyfriends that want to come round to be cooked for snd stay over all the time when you are busy or unwell and get annoyed when no reply to endless texts...& you're never allowed any "time off"

OP your bf/ partner doesn't sound like he wants any more than a weekend relationship.
I may be busy but I can do texts etc in the week as long as it's not hours and hours worth!!!!

He did give you your answer before.

If a partner is interested in you they want to discuss the future and moving forward or they explain why they have limited time, but they never get cross with you

They never get cross with you for asking I mean

If it works for you both it’s fine. But it doesn’t work for you, that’s fine too. You are allowed to have opinions on your relationship. It doesn’t work for you op. Walk away.

There's nothing wrong with a relationship like that, but it has to suit BOTH of you, not just him. His attitude sounds awful. So you're now not having much contact, not much sex either... arguing... Doesn't look great.

Agree with above. 50 year old trash.
Please find your pride and bin this loser.

Just get rid of him. He is bringing absolutely nothing to your life and in fact he is hindering it. If you got shot of him you'd have time at the weekends to do what you want to do with people you want to meet. You'd then be open and available to meet some decent bloke who might actually want to be a proper partner.

So I asked him if he wanted to eventually move towards living together or marriage or just seeing each other more eventually etc and he said he’ll know in a few years. Erm

That tells you all you need to know

And he's 50 now, so does he mean he'll know during retirement?!

Honestly, this isn't what most people want. You are the least needy person he'll meet. It's normal to see each other more often as time progresses and to talk throughout the week. You're not even having sex now. Time to tell him that next weekend doesn't suit you and nor does the next one.

Note he's not asking what you think or want, is he?

Pretty depressing

'Bye, Frosty.'

It sounds like it's all on his terms . How convenient! He could easily be living a double live.

No double life, just wants it all his way.

@Fustyoldface

Yeah a few weeks ago I did lay out on the table that I was after a partner eventually and it just caused an argument so there’s my answer isn’t it.

Yes.

Either do it his way or find someone who wants what you want

But stop being so passive. This is your life to live. Don't allow someone else to ruin it for you

I know I’m being passive, he just seems so hurt when I say this isn’t for me, I feel awful but it’s not fair on me either.

I’m so sorry but after 1.5 years he would know if this relationship has a future that he would want to share his life and build a home with you. The fact that you have very limited contact in the week is worrying.
Either heys a total commitment phobe ‘ he wil know in a few years!
Or he is stringing you along for convenience for him.
If you are not happy with the situation I would end it. Good luck.

I’m so hurt by that know in a few years comment. It makes me feel ‘on trial.’