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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Weekend only relationship

145 replies

Fustyoldface · 01/07/2021 20:59

Just posting to ask if I’m overthinking really. Year and a half with partner still only see each other on the weekends, only really talk on the weekends aside from the odd surface type text during the week. I find it hard to stay connected, he says he is happy. I have said it feels a bit like we are repeating the same conversations etc and could we see each other more or talk about the future but he either changes the subject or says he’s fine with it. Am I being dramatic?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fustyoldface · 09/07/2021 07:34

So his communication is getting sparser and colder and all about him. Do I just let this fizzle out?

OP posts:
category12 · 09/07/2021 07:46

Why wait, why be passive?

Take control and tell him you're not happy and you're ending it. Better for your self esteem than dragging it out feeling rejected.

DinosaurDiana · 09/07/2021 07:47

Are you sure he’s not got a wife/girlfriend that he sees in the week ?

seensome · 09/07/2021 08:03

I would just say this isn't working for me any longer, job done.

AnnaSW1 · 09/07/2021 08:07

Sounds like he's not that into you but want regular sex. I'm sure you deserve a better relationship

Original poster
Fustyoldface · 09/07/2021 08:32

There’s not even any sex now. I don’t think he’s seeing anyone else he just seems to like most of his time dedicated to him. So sas as it was such a great start!

OP posts:
Hotcuppatea · 09/07/2021 08:35

Maybe time to walk away with your head held high. He doesn't sound like he deserves you.

candycane222 · 09/07/2021 08:38

It's already over really, isn't it?

candycane222 · 09/07/2021 08:39

And be glad you know!

TheSunShinesBrighter · 09/07/2021 08:43

@Fustyoldface

So his communication is getting sparser and colder and all about him. Do I just let this fizzle out?
Yes. Arrange something else with someone else this weekend. Be busy.
JustAnotherOldMan · 09/07/2021 08:46

I had a weekend only relationship with my last partner and it was perfect for both of us, we both liked our space and lived about a bit over an hour apart, so the weekends were really good, built up the excitement kinda thing, for both of us but probably not for everyone

Original poster
Fustyoldface · 09/07/2021 08:55

I mean I love my own space but there has to be a point to us being together..Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Fustyoldface · 09/07/2021 08:56

Also I get the build up of excitement but it means every conversation is the same as there’s no progression or talk of anything further than stuff about him or surface stuff.

OP posts:
ihtwsf · 09/07/2021 08:56

How old are you? What do you want your future to look like? Do you want to live with someone? Do you want to start a family?

A weekend relationship like this might suit some people - it certainly seems to suit your DP.
But if you want more then you need to leave and find someone who wants the same because he is not going to change. What he is offering you now is all he is going to offer you. If that's not enough for you then leave.

JustAnotherOldMan · 09/07/2021 09:09

Sorry, sounds like it’s run it course then…
When I was in weekend only thing, was in the preCovid world and both of us has pretty full on jobs so evenings were really wind down time and that suited both of us at the time

Original poster
Fustyoldface · 09/07/2021 09:22

Oh yeah I get it, I like wind down time but surely you’re supposed to be in contact a little bit when apart?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fustyoldface · 09/07/2021 09:22

I’m 39. I can’t have kids but want a partner.

OP posts:
LittleBlackCat22 · 09/07/2021 09:25

My best friend is stuck in one of these. They’ve been together 3 years. She’s cheated once. They only see eachother every other weekend when her kids are at their dads. Virtually no contact during the week. When they do see eachother he refuses to leave the village he lives in so for 3 years they have sat and drank in the same pub every other weekend and usually end up having a fight. It makes me so sad.

UndeadSlut · 09/07/2021 09:25

Nah it wouldn't be enough for me. Could handle only seeing each other at weekends, but not talking at all during the week either is crazy.
You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting more, there's nothing wrong with it, but it's clear that he doesn't so you need to do the right thing FOR YOU and end it.

Unanananana · 09/07/2021 09:26

My god, cut your losses already! Why would you hang around for his ever-reducing crumbs?

Find your self respect!

wizzywig · 09/07/2021 09:26

Start looking elsewhere. Maybe it's more that you are used to him, rather than you love him

JustAnotherOldMan · 09/07/2021 09:28

The odd text or WhatsApp message, but not too much really, but again that’s what worked for us at the time, but if it doesn’t work for you…
.. and we both looked forward to the weekends and had lots of sex, but I see on an update your not even having sex now,
So sounds a bit pointless really, sorry 😞

grapewine · 09/07/2021 09:30

If you don't even have sex when you do see him... that's not even a casual relationship. There's nothing there. Move on.

Notwavingbutdrowing3 · 09/07/2021 09:31

I'd love a weekend only relationship. But that's because I'm busy with my DC, house, friends & family and job. I just don't have time for endless chats with an increasingly needy partner- which has been my experience of dating men my age ! Grin
Even then I appreciate weekends to myself as well ...

However , it doesn't suit you and you want a more flexible relationship that is heading perhaps towards living together or communicating and seeing each other more often.

It doesn't sound like he's the right partner for you . You can't even talk about the big stuff without him sulking or it becoming an argument.

Use your free evenings to go on dates and fade him out

Notwavingbutdrowing3 · 09/07/2021 09:33

Also, no sex anymore? Naaaah... the death knell is sounding in this 'relationship '

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