Weekend only relationship

[Fustyoldface]

Just posting to ask if I’m overthinking really. Year and a half with partner still only see each other on the weekends, only really talk on the weekends aside from the odd surface type text during the week. I find it hard to stay connected, he says he is happy. I have said it feels a bit like we are repeating the same conversations etc and could we see each other more or talk about the future but he either changes the subject or says he’s fine with it. Am I being dramatic?

I'd bin him.
He has a nice handy number and gets his hole at the weekend. That's all he cares about.

Are you only with him because of your age and you're afraid to be alone?

@OldChinaJug

If you see someone at the weekends, don't talk about the future and don't speak/see each other otherwise then they are not your partner. They're someone you have am ongoing casual thing with.

This ^^

Ugh blood site reloaded typing my reply!

No I’m not afraid to be alone at all just don’t want to ditch a relationship if I’m being needy or dramatic so wanted a reality check I suppose.

@Fustyoldface

Ugh blood site reloaded typing my reply!

No I’m not afraid to be alone at all just don’t want to ditch a relationship if I’m being needy or dramatic so wanted a reality check I suppose.

You're not happy.

It doesn't matter if other people would be, you're not happy, they're not the ones living it. And most people wouldn't be happy in a relationship where the communication has waned and the sex has stopped, and there's no sign of getting closer or a future.

Don't stick out a crappy relationship that doesn't meet your needs. Don't be passive and "let it fizzle out". Take some ownership and have a bit of pride and belief in yourself.

He sounds rubbish though. This is not a relationship.
And you said yourself that he's gone cold on you anyway.
Bin him.

Op have you ever been to his place. If not I would begin to get worried.

If you have then I suggest a few days away at another location then you both may see a different relationship.

Good luck

Having needs doesn't make you needy OP.

If your needs aren't being met then you have every right to express them.

It's crunch time. Can you continue being in this relationship without your needs being met ?

This isn’t working for you. I often only see my partner at weekends as he travels a lot in the week for work. We are in touch by text every day multiple times and spend a whole day at the weekend together / go out together with friends / go on holiday together.

The space works for us but it doesn’t for you so move on

Yes I’ve been to his. He takes hours to reply to anything. Phone calls are non existent. I just don’t understand why he says he was after a relationship that would move onwards at the start. I suppose I’ve just buried my head haven’t I.

I do like a lot of space too but I like to sort of exchange stuff about the day or send funny stuff that has happened, you know just the odd thing about your day. I feel really down as I feel like I am squashing down who I am. Yes you’re all right, just hard to admit to myself as I did get excited and see a future together.

Feeling like you're squashing down who you are is never a good sign. Have a frank conversation with him and lay it on the table - what you want and what he can give. Then end it if he minimises, blames or ignores you.

I think you need to end it. He's not right for you. There are plenty of decent men out there who are ready for a grown up relationship and all that entails. Now lockdown restrictions are lifting, arrange some nights out with friends. Focus on you and what you want.

I just don’t understand why he says he was after a relationship that would move onwards at the start.

Because that's what he knew you wanted to hear, to get his weekend fun.

Please leave him. Don't let it fizzle out. Let him know you have decided that you are worth far more, and you wish him the best, goodbye.

Yeah a few weeks ago I did lay out on the table that I was after a partner eventually and it just caused an argument so there’s my answer isn’t it.

I had a casual weekend relationship that lasted 12years. First 4 years I wanted more, but then I got used to it being a ‘weekend relationship’ and it suited me too. His face when I told him I was leaving though... he suddenly wanted marriage and kids. Well no, it was 8 years too late for me at that stage.

@SecondClassmyass I suppose I could get used to it but I hate that he’s not there for me but as soon as he needs me I’m expected to be there! It’s frustrating.

I can imagine the look!!

I find it so hard to not assume he has another relative/family
sorry

You deserve better
Stop wasting time on this one you want different things

I worry there might be someone else he’s interested in maybe more than another girlfriend or partner or whatever. Someone else is getting his attention because it’s not me.

I know, thanks.

Sorry haven’t read the full thread but what’s his excuse for not meeting/talking during the week? Is it work, hobbies, does he have his DC or other care responsibilities? It makes all the difference why.

Also do you spend all the weekend together? Meeting friends etc? I think a weekend only relationship can progress, but if the reasons for not meeting are tge right reasons.

No dc, not really a reason given just gets angry and says so you want to spend 24/7 with me?

@Fustyoldface

So his communication is getting sparser and colder and all about him. Do I just let this fizzle out?

No, just dump him now.

How old is he? I don’t think it gets better to be honest. What do you do on weekends together? Out and about and socializing or just at home?

I guess it’s tough with covid. Do you feel like it was a comfort relationship during covid ans he is now phasing you out?