Support needed for facing my horribly abusive ex

[Pebbledashery]

Here is my support thread.. Thank you everyone

the next step is the local authority from the area we fled and used to live from will be doing the section 7, I think this will be ok. There was multiple involvement from this local authority and the social worker who helped us flee was from that local authority.
It says the section 7 will report on how unsupervised contact can be established, if at all.
So we'll see.
Pleased about the non-molestation order being extended. Think I'm in a bit of shock to be honest.

@Orgasmagorical because the Police proposed the extension as it gives them time to apply for a stalking protection order which takes about 6-8 months to do, that is an indefinite order.

He has been seen for who he really is.
I’m over the moon for you and your daughter.

Really pleased for you OP. I hope you can relax your mind for a bit, you’ve been through such a lot

I don't know if the local authority from the area we left can actually do the section 7 though as DD is not a resident of that area anymore. The Court can't force our local authority to do it can they? that puts us at risk as he'll know what County we live in.

Oh I'm so glad you've got the contact sorted and non mol.

It's a bit rich to say you were abusive given all you went through but take the wins where you can.

Stalking order sounds like a winner too

Really pleased for you and your DD OP

@Pebbledashery

I don't know if the local authority from the area we left can actually do the section 7 though as DD is not a resident of that area anymore. The Court can't force our local authority to do it can they? that puts us at risk as he'll know what County we live in.

I don't know but I would imagine that the County that dealt with it would do the section 7 as they have all the information. Would your Solicitor know?

Could you make a specific request that the name of the County is not disclosed?

Great news!! What a relief.

[quote Pebbledashery]@Orgasmagorical because the Police proposed the extension as it gives them time to apply for a stalking protection order which takes about 6-8 months to do, that is an indefinite order.[/quote]
Ah, that's good, thank you for taking the time to explain.

Think I'm in a bit of shock to be honest.

You're bound to feel a bit wobbly with the relief, you've been on tenterhooks for all that time

OP sending you congratulations and best wishes for the findings in your and your child's favour.

You have fought in the very best interests for your child and you are an incredibly strong Mum.

Great news

@Whatamesssss it would be the Local authority from the area we fled from, not the area we located to as they have had little involvement with us.

Thanks everyone, I don't really know how to feel yet to be honest.

It will take a while to process @Pebbledashery, and there’s no particular way you’re supposed to feel, so take your time sorting through it all. For right now, you’re safe and DD isn’t going to be spending any time with him unsupervised any time soon.

I feel a bit sh*t about some things he's said, he said when reporting abuse to the authorities, I didn't make any ascertains to my "poor behaviour" well, that's strange - because in the bundle was a report from Children's services that said I admitted shouted at DD and I sometimes felt I provoked him to be violent towards him. The social worker even said I had been extremely honest.
The Judge also said I had weaponised DD by refusing to allow him contact on fathers day for no good reason, well I consider being in court the day before your birthday and only having the weekend to celebrate the first birthday not in an abusive relationship as a good reason.
I've come off lightly compared to him I guess.
The section 7 will take up to 14 weeks, so he will have supervised contact in that time.
I still feel worried, I don't really know why.

although in the section of his impression of both witnesses (me and ex) he said that I was extremely intelligent and articulate, and he could quite clearly see I was a broken person who had attempted to put myself back together following the emotional turmoil.

From my experience., you really just need to see it as the bigger picture. Yes there will be things your not happy with (i found the same). But you entered into the court process to keep yourself and your daughter safe. Have you achieved this? Yes. The finner details are insignificant.

This fact finding was to do with the non-molestation order also, not children's proceedings - although he made findings of child abuse. This was actually all relative to the NMO, which has been extended.

Wow

Good outcome

Yes it is hard to read some parts of this

So for you op
Hoping this means never any unsupervised contact? Ever!!!??

Well done for getting through this hell

Im just worried, my solicitor said at some point in the future he has a legal right to know what school DD goes to etc and that he will find out what county she is in.. How can I get around this? can there be some kind of restriction implied onto his PR where he doesn't know what school she goes to? I just can't risk him knowing where we are. I really can't. My life won't be worth living.

Overall things sound good. Such a relief that the non mol has been extended and all the findings against him.

Why the fuck would a judge think a father who has abused his child deserved to spend Father's Day with said child?

Would the stalking protection order stop them from telling him which school she goes to? I imagine it would, but again, I have no knowledge of this, maybe someone else could shed some light?

I think more importantly, he's very clearly said that unsupervised contact is not appropriate at all at this point.. i think his side was hoping that they could ask for unsupervised contact to commence!

Well that's good news

I hope this stays set in stone

When you are this vile you should not get away with these things

Phew Pebble really good news even with the little bits of mould in there. I don't think that there is still any real understanding by people who have never been in the position just how you can drive yourself to act totally out of character by frustration, injustice and buttons being pushed.

If I could have gotten hold of my daughter's abuser I would have stabbed him in the neck and quite happily gone to prison for it and normally I can't even kill spiders. Thankfully he died falling out of a window after a heart attack brought on by a huge drug overdose. I am more than happy to wish the same for your abuser.