Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@bangheadhere40 it really is. CG got under my skin and I really did try to help him, even putting my own feelings to the side when he came to me one day telling me he was heartbroken as his ex had told him it was over for good. We even had a conversation about what we wanted and agreed we'd see how things went once we had met.

Posted too soon

I think it is just a matter of being a bit more guarded in future. Someone will come along who won't take advantage.

Hugs @bangheadhere40 you will feel better…hang in there 💗💗 xxx

Thank you both xxxx

@bangheadhere40 i would be hurt too. On the flip side, you've seen his true nature. Perhaps he wanted to draw a line underneath things. You've just had things being dredged up a bit but time will fix it.

First meet today with the slightly hyper messaging guy.

He's definitely very attractive (not my usual type but very "pretty boy Instagram model looks), worldly, etc.

Meet was...interesting...we had a walk with his dog who was lovely?

Went to an outdoor pub and his card didn't work (fine I got a round in and he said he'll transfer the money across but I said not to)

and also walked him back to his car and the battery for the keys didn't work?

I did the whole cheerful British "look mate, I'll get my male lodger to give it a push and go to the garage if needed can't leave you in the lurch" before heading and he didn't push.

got a whatsapp just now asking for a kiss, which I've ignored.

So overall it was a bit . The meet was quite spontaneous and he was suggesting staying over (I questioned this and he said was thinking of an Airbnb so he could drink).

I'm not sure if he's just a bit too dramatic/complicated/intense to engage with/was playing manipulative mind games like an utter psycho/ pushing to stay over?

I've checked him out on social media and he isn't complete nutcase or anything on paper but one never knows.

This is one to throw back in the sea, isn't it? I'd have met him again without all the weird shit.

Trust your gut @SpringlikeBunk if you were having feelings he’s dramatic/complicated/intense to engage with/was playing manipulative mind games like an utter psycho/ pushing to stay over?

Do you want to invite any of that into your life??

Lol at these twats saying about booking somewhere so they can drink. Its so… uncontrolled, sleazy and transparent. Sad creeps…….

Yes @Shayelle2009 thanks for the reinforcement

He sent a few messages but I'm just going to block or not reply tbh - thinking back:

1. I (allegedly) was his first tinder meet
2. He asked if there was parking near me and I said I didn't know.
3. Didn't have change for parking and needed to go to the toilet
4. I showed him the local supermarket so he could park there and use the toilet.
5. The car (allegedly) broke down so I headed and did the whole direct "mate" thing and said I'd send male friends to help if needed.
6. Sent another message asking for a kiss.

It's like a basic level nutcase on some level - WHY go to all that effort to convince a slightly sceptical 7/10 woman to take you home. He was good looking so it just reeked of desperation/enjoying manipulation at some level.

Hi everyone,

Nothing really to report at the moment, but just sending lots of ❤️❤️❤️ to everyone who needs it. 😘😘

I've got no hot water today, although according to Mr Cricket cold water is good for your skin (not sure he'd be saying that if he had to have a cold shower at 6am). Need to call the useless engineer out again, I had no problems until they touched it last week. I would advise never ever buy a house with a green heating/hot water system as you are limited on who you can call.

@SpringlikeBunk why would he WhatsApp and ask for a kiss, that's a weird thing to ask. That would be a goodbye from me type of thing.

@SpringlikeBunk actually sounds like he has severe mental health issues - please don’t meet him again, I would be worried for you - perhaps report as well? x

Thank god you mentioned a male lodger!!

Oh @Isitreallyme77 that’s so annoying!!! There is often water issues where I live (ie nothing coming out of the tap) I get so fed up with it that every time it happens now (regular) I complain to my local MP 😂😂

#Crazycatlady 🐈‍⬛

On a brighter note… HAPPY FRIDAY everyone 🥳🥳
I’m happy as meeting a dear old friend for pizza and prosecco lunch tomorrow 😁😁 better than any shitty date with any creepy sex hound potato head!!

@VanGoghsDog hmm i must have read the post wrong! My mistake! Working out is SO much fun, don't know how i'd cope with my computer job if i didn't. I'm terrible at sitting still and concentrating! Sorry if you've mentioned earlier but what is it you do? Just out of curiosity?
@bangheadhere40 @Isitreallyme77 this happened to me day after my birthday from the infamous MrS. I mentioned in a earlier post he'd text for my birthday (after 6 weeks of silence) and i just never thanked him. Next thing i know he sends a 'bye then' text and right after a 'well a thank you for the thought would have been nice' then he blocked me. I never responded to either and could even read the message without opening. It's pretty harsh, does make you feel a bit worthless and like you just didn't mean anything too them. You just filled time. It's really hard to deal with the power all these chats have over us. They can make the difference to how a whole day goes. I've learnt to just text when i want regardless of if they text last or i did. If i want an answer then i need to ask for it. I hate the wondering/waiting of it all.

I'm supposed to be seeing MrElf today. But keeping these things from my son is so tricky. He saw texts pop up on my phone and is asking alot of questions. He doesn't know we met already yet. And i've made massive mistakes introducing him way too early. This time have to be really careful...

SpringlikeBunk oh nooo! sounds like everything that could go wrong for him did go wrong. Didn't paint the best picture of him i guess. Were you at all attracted to him, was there good conversation? The idea of staying over when only just meeting sounds a little red-flaggy. How far away is he from you. I'm giving MrElf another try even though he is very short (not at all my usual type) and came in 'the flipflops' for the first 'date' also usually a no/go. There are just so many things we over-think these days when it comes to dating, wish i was one of those it's 'black or white' kind of people.

Thanks Naimee I am more annoyed with myself I think how much power his chats did have, and as you say the blocking makes you feel pretty worthless. I'm sorry others have had this but it's comforting to know I'm not alone with this.

shayelle oh definitely, a lunch with a non potato- sounds great 🙂

I've gone back on the apps and trying to make more of an effort on there, only 1 iron as yet who vanished mid conversation 😃

Not easy is it!

Unhid my profile on the swamp that is pof too!

@Shayelle2009 thanks I literally spent an hour arguing with the company, they basically called me a liar saying I must have been using the immersion heater to heat the water (it wasn't turned on until yesterday and doesn't actually work my dad checked it). Got an engineer coming round this morning, they're literally in the next block of flats. My dad is also coming over to ask all the questions I'll forget.

Pizza and prosecco sounds lovely and not a potato head in sight is even better.

Its been about a year since I was last on here (under a different username) and I am ready to get back into the dating game.

I had a FWB over the winter but that's not doing it for me anymore.

I was back on the apps for a few weeks and had very little in the way of matches and the ones I got soon fizzled.

Anyway, I see this same guy on the apps often. I feel some pull to him but I've not swiped right as he reminds me a little of a guy I dated last year. He looks similar with the same hobby (think geek chic on a bike)

Anyway, swiped right yesterday and matched. Chat has been great. He is very on the ball, asks lots o questions, replies etc and has asked me out on Tuesday. I am looking forward to it but I'm quite nervous. I know that is normal, but my luck with dating has been dire and I dont have the energy for any more disappointments.

So lets call him Mr GeekChic

@bangheadhere40 it's just so difficult to understand why it fizzles out when for my experience nothing had changed and there was no conversation had that lead me to think anything with him had changed. He just went quieter and quieter... from messages every morning and throughout the day to given work schedules, face times too (he iniated these, i'm not really a fan actually) and whenever i would quizz him he'd say 'oh just been busy' ... aaanway we are so much better off without them and have hopefully learnt not to chase anyone when the chat goes quiet.
HeReWeGoAgAiN1112 I was in a similar situation just got back into it too. First date with MrElf was monday. All the girls herer have been super helpful with really good and very funny advice. I guess just enjoy it and see where it goes try turn the nerves into excitement.

Hi all. Hope you are all well. Been seeing someone for a few months, once a week. Going good, he is in regular contact, we get on well, good chemistry and saying/doing all the right things. Met some of his friends recently too. Thing is hes away in Scotland for few nights and last night I logged on to the dating site we met through and he was online. We did have a casual conversation about coming off the apps a while back. I was angry and was about to block him but resisted. Any advice? I do like him but want to be realistic too.

@LuckyLinda3, I think it sounds like the right time for a check in with him about how he's viewing what you have together. It doesn't have to be mega heavy, just how you are feeling ( enjoying getting to know him etc ) and what the next natural step might be - whether you would like to be exclusively seeing each other and off the apps ? He may also be wondering why you logged on if he saw you online? You can't spoil something by having the 'wrong ' conversation so if you are on the same page, great and if not then definitely better to know.

Thanks @Onesmallstep67. I genuinely only logged on to check if he was on and was disappointed to see him online. He was talking in a way that made me think he was happy so I dont know if I am overthinking this. He only left yesterday morning and has messaged and rang since he left. He had also asked me to go with him too. That said I'm very aware I don't overlook a red flag either.

Hi @LuckyLinda3 👋☺️☺️ Waves x