Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I'm feeling really disillusioned today, I just find since getting Tinder Gold that the men that have liked me are miles away and I wouldn't go near anyway. Think I've had enough for a bit as I really can't be bothered with making the effort with chats either.😔

Tinder is very odd with distances. I don't get it at all.

@FluffyFluffMonster
Well played - good strong move on mentioning it to him?

Obviously no-one wants to mention problems to virtual strangers early on/come across as high maintenance

But I’m learning there’s a lot to be said for just “asking or mentioning and seeing how they respond”

@isitreallyme77 I have that aswell. Men who have liked me are miles away. The furthest match I think have been over 4000 miles away. What's the point in liking someone that far away.

I am talking to someone I matched with on hinge with the idea to go out for drinks. I don't think it will ever happen as the messaging is very sporadic and he is away again exploring parts of the UK.
It's been 2 and a half weeks since we matched, a week since he first suggested drinks so as he is away from tomorrow for all of next week it will porbabaly me a month of sporadic texts before and if we even meet for a drink. I'm not intimating the texts as he has my number and if he wanted to meet me then he would make the plan to.

Hi all, first post so please don't savage me! Currently in a LTR with no excitement, and have been doing some heavy flirting with Mr Builder. He clearly wants no strings fun and I have done similar in the past. Watch this space I guess?

@SpringlikeBunk are those your matches? If so seem like some good looking irons there!
But yeah I have to be honest especially as I came away from the date feeling like utter shite. We had a video call tonight and are meeting Sunday for a coffee!

Meeting another iron Friday, will call him Mr cake: I'm not feeling this one though but will update. And then another iron Saturday. This will be our second date. Will call him Mr coach.

I've also been talking to a man on/off for a few months who claims he wants a fwb however he's cancelled meeting up 3 times now. I think he has some issues. We have video called, added on fb so I know he's not a catfish, he's single etc!

Oh Jesus half asleep @SpringlikeBunk I get it now. But yeah match with Tom for sure

@FluffyFluffMonster

really emotionally healthy to be able to communicate like that early on and I'm sure MrCoffee is glad you didn't write him off.

I used to be a bit awkward about having similar conversations as I was always trying to "play it cool" and "hide my feelings" and still struggle a bit but it really is the only way to do things!

Sounds like you have a good roster there. I find something like 1 in 5-6 meets (out of God knows how many matches and initial chats) really stick (for various reasons on both our parts).

so although it can be wearying it's just going through the process!

That's not my matches, just a meme on the various "categories" of men one finds on Tinder

• "too young" guy
• wholesome guy with dog
• slightly worn out older guy
• suave older guy
• city yuppie
• party guy drunk
• guy lying in bed with shirt off
• gym meathead guy

Round my way I have

• photo of child
• photo of car
• photo of multiple men (don't know which one)
• random quote (inspirational)
• random photo of sky or country
• kinky image to show man is into kinky stuff"
• random quote (kinky)

Speaking of wholesome guys with dog I think that I have a "chat front runner" (the guy I was a bit worried was sending too many messages). I'm feeling we're on the same level so fingers crossed for a meet there.

Now I'm going to stop mentally moaning he's sending "too many messages" and start moaning about the "lack of messages"

Amen to that, @Dancerinthemoonlight. If he’s interested he’ll get in touch.

Not a peep from MrShack, so the same applies!

Another fruitless swiping session. Why just have photos of you wearing sunglasses, do they not have eyes or something?!🤦‍♀️ gym selfies are an instant swipe left too, I know I love going to the gym and some men can look hot in their gym kit (there are a couple in my gym) but not on a dating profile and most of the time it's some meat head.

It’s great to read about your dating experiences, the good and the bad. Just a quick update, Mr Ceramic has now blocked me after our first meet, he just wanted a quick shag. Mr Aeroplane is a bit slow but making contact and said he is child free all weekend. Mr Scouse replied briefly to a a few texts. Mr Compliance has gone quiet.

Mr Player called round to see me we had a chat and he apologised again for letting me down. He wants to be friends, told him maybe one day.
Started up some new chats on PoF and got back in touch with long term FWB as I was feeling a bit lonely. It’s 2 years since my mum passed away so feeling reflective.
Good luck to all those with dates, waiting for texts and feeling a bit disillusioned with dating.

I feel bad, I've not dealt was the the MrTall issue.

He didn't message yesterday, and I didn't message him. On Monday he sent me the list of days he's free this week, of which tonight is one, and I didn't respond to it. Though there have been a few other messages, mainly about plumbing. He texts kisses and I don't, but then I just don't tend to (but he doesn't know that).

I need to send the "thanks but no thanks" text. I've been kidding myself that I'm being kind, waiting for a good time - obviously not when he's at work, but also not out of the blue etc.

I'm reminded of this meme:

I need a course on how to do this part of dating!

@HopefulDoubtful oh i am so pleased for you! Sometimes you have to just take the chance and i know it hurts a lot when the answer isn't what you want but at least the confusion is gone and you can just move on. Its hard to work out text-speak in terms of are you bothering by texting. I tend to leave messages unread if i cannot get into the answer or have time for a back/forth text chat i then answer as soon as i've opened their message. But other people seem to open/read and respond hours later. I really hope you have a nice time together. Keep us posted well obviously giving away only as many details as you like
@Dancerinthemoonlight what is it when MNHQ deletes a message? I suppose there must be guidelines on here but some posts are pretty brutal on other threads but seem to be let through... just curious.
@GaraMedouar lovely! similar to my second date with MrElf which happened last night. It is weird though as he doesn't drink alcohol ever and never has been drunk/tipsy even. He said he doesn't have any issues with me drinking...an i'm no alcoholic but do enjoy being tipsy every so often.

Also he turned up in brand new shoes that he bought an safely hid the flip flops.

@Shayelle2009 and @VanGoghsDog i fully agree with the mini-workouts doing wonders for your mental health. I think i mentioned earlier in a post that i bought me and my son skipping ropes and i've used mine far more than he has. I check out pinterest as they have excellent workouts there you can tailor to what you like. Also getting out with our little puppy helps clear the mind over lunch, taking a stroll in the fresh air. I'll be properly dissappointed once 'office' life resumes. Luckily it is being staggered and many people are desperate to get back so i'm hoping they'll be no push for those who have a good set up at home! (i say this typing from my dining room table which has barely enough space from my Laptop!

Funny that you tagged me in that, I most definitely don't work out!

@Naimee87 the post might have been deleted as it was of peoples faces and I think they automatically get deleted as not to out people. Although it was of celebrities so it's potentially just a blanket rule.
Some times it's confused why some posts slip through and others that don't seem to break the rules get deleted

@naughtyk I don't think your post is in the spirit of the thread. Most of us on this thread have been cheated on by partners.

Most of us are single on the thread or at at the very beginning of a relationship found through old. No one to the best of my knowledge is using it to cheat on their LTR

Hi everyone, please can someone talk some sense into me ☹

I'm a little upset, the iron that I told I didn't want to speak to anymore and blocked has now blocked me back. He's perfectly entitled to of course and obviously thinks it's for the best. I don't know why I'm so bothered...it just seems so final now.

I feel an idiot giving so much time to him when he wouldn't see me , messed me around etc. I have no plan on ever speaking to him again, I just feel a bit down about it.

I guess I'm wondering if he's blocked me as he's met someone else...I don't know why else...I haven't tried to reach him or anything.

All sounds very immature i know - one of the reasons I didn't want to speak to him anymore.

@bangheadhere40 I know how you're feeling. I messaged Computer Geek on Sunday, he hasn't blocked me but my message hasn't been delivered so he doesn't have the app we messaged on open (when he does the message gets delivered, I think he has deleted it from his phone but not deleted his account). I have a feeling he has gone back to his ex, which if they can make it work then great good luck to them. It hurts more than I expected and I miss him. Like you I feel silly about it and for giving him so much of my time. But it's almost like it's telling me to move on.

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@naughtyk I don't think your post is in the spirit of the thread. Most of us on this thread have been cheated on by partners.

Most of us are single on the thread or at at the very beginning of a relationship found through old. No one to the best of my knowledge is using it to cheat on their LTR[/quote]
I agree with this. This is about genuine dating, not about cheating. But you could start another thread.

Thanks isitreally...I'm glad someone understands. I can see logically how silly this whole thing has been. I guess a lot of it is that I have wasted so much time...and what did he ever want from me 😕

And I feel quite used and sick at the thought of him with anyone else!

I'm seeing Mr Cricket on Monday for coffee (just as friends, well I assume nothing has changed although he has been getting a bit flirty with me). When should I confirm it? I can't work out this one, normally with friends I usually send a a see you later message on the day but we haven't set a time or place (in fairness it's my turn to pay and to go to him). I just don't want to overthink this and scare the guy off but on the other hand I need to know a time and place before Monday.

@bangheadhere40 I felt used my CG, he couldn't understand why I felt used though, he used me as his shoulder to cry on but as soon as lockdown started lifting and he could see his friends again he dropped me. I don't think men see things like we do.

@Isitreallyme77

Just confirm whenever you want. I've just sent MrWG the menu for tonight and he came back with his order. I said we can order when we're there, I'm not a waitress!

Bumble reignited itself this morning and I'm ashamed to say I have three matches, all rather promising! Eek.

It's horrible isn't it isitreally. I was used as an emotional crutch for a long time whilst he was going through a messy break up.

I'm upset as I genuinely cared for him. I'm not sure if I meet anyone else how I can trust them really.. I guess it's looking at actions and consistency isn't it, not what they say.