Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@VanGoghsDog - thank you, yes it does seem very promising indeed, I am actively having to keep calm and not run away with my thoughts and just enjoy each date for the time being

Naimee87
Thank you so much for asking! I was quite anxious about it last night and this morning and kept checking if he was online. Then I remembered that I had promised myself last time around that going forward I was not going to play any games, and that I was going to try to be straight forward even if I risked getting an answer I didn't want. So anyway, I texted him earlier today simply asking if he still wanted to meet this weekend as we hadn't made any firm plans and I wanted to plan my weekend. He responded straight away saying that he definitely wanted to meet and asked to call me. So we ended up having a nice chat on the phone and made plans for him to come over to mine on Friday. We have met twice before and last time he also came to my house but didn't spend the night. The plan is to spend the night this weekend, if all goes well. I'll keep you posted!

I feel much calmer now that we have firm plans and he did seem keen enough on the phone.

Thanks @SpringlikeBunk it’s good you feel confident and self assured to do that. Guess I’m the sort of person who just holds my cards close to my chest in a lot of ways but we are all a little different aren’t we ☺️ It’s good you’re cutting the duds loose left right and centre!

@GaraMedouar that’s lovely news I’m really glad you two hit it off… more fun plans to be had! 💘

Hey I'm a long term lurker and need some advice please?
First date today and I paid for all our drinks, 2 x rounds of coffee. He didn't offer. Not looking good is it? He just messaged me saying he would like to meet again!

Another iron I met in real life two weeks ago, invites himself over to my house where my children live. I clearly told him no and he got so passive aggressive with me. I've ignored him since only for him to message me today saying I have issues. Any normal men out there? I have so, so many bad dating stories

@FluffyFluffMonster

There’s a lot of dodgy rude types on apps who are entitled and push boundaries unfortunately - it can be quite stressful working through them! I’m getting more dates in now things are opened up and I already feel a bit 😬😬😬😬😬

You get excited from their profile then realise WHY they’re single when you meet....

It sounds like you’re doing exactly the right thing with screening them out early on - first meet isn’t even a date.

@SpringlikeBunk I have gone Dutch before but never had to pay for everything. I know it's stupid but it's really got to me. The entitlement. And not even a thank you! Other than that we got on really well, good conversation, he wants to see me again so a little confusing.

@FluffyFluffMonster please don't worry- as @Spring says, there are people who try and push your boundaries. I once had a bad experience with a guy who tried to make me 'trust him' after only a couple of hours of chatting with him 🥺

It will get better ❤️

@FluffyFluffMonster you should be taking turns to pay for meals/drinks when on a date so it's fair for both of you ❤️

For those of you who are not currently having much luck on the apps/IRL and who live alone - how do you deal with the loneliness?

I've wanted to get out of the family home and away from my ex for years. I am finally going to have every other week on my own and every other week with the kids, and ex will stay in our second accommodation then.

It's my first week on my own, I had three dates lined up, only one happened, a good friend suggested I synchronise my weekends off with hers so we can do fun stuff together, now she has met someone online and is besotted with him - which is lovely and she deserves happiness but could she not have met him in a few weeks instead...? - another friend was up for checking out the local pub but he now has dates instead, other loose arrangements have not come off... so here I am, missing my kids, feeling very alone and unloved and having no joy on the apps. Could start a potato farm though.

I'm not really a hobby person, and I'm usually knackered after work so usually love to just hang out with people and chat over a drink, which is not happening at all. Haven't even got Netflix 🤣🤣 Need to sort that out so I can disappear into a series out something.

I lived on my own in my 30s, but had loads of single friends and lived in London and I don't remember feeling lonely. But I'm in my 50s now, everyone is settled, I live in a small town and I just feel lost. What does everyone else do, how do you sort your head out when you just feel sad and alone?

Sorry about the lack of spacing. It looked fine on my phone.

I don't suffer from loneliness, fortunately. In fact, I prefer being on my own than anything.

@VanGoghsDog

I don't suffer from loneliness, fortunately. In fact, I prefer being on my own than anything.

That's how I used to be! Maybe it's just the transition of juggling work and kids and cooking and washing and endless mindless chores to being on my own. Which I what I craved.

I think it takes some getting used to @WeWantTheFinestWines but Ive lived on my own now since I was 27, I’m now 40. Do you have any pets? Maybe adopt a lovely cat? What things do you enjoy most, are you a bit of a homebody, do you enjoy cooking? I love making big complex curries that take hours. I like a drink 🍷 hehe.. look forward to a nice glass of wine. You could try exercise? Gym, walking? Online exercise vids and follow them? Maybe there are other ladies or hobby groups in your village?
You just have to relearn and start loving a new way of living 💛 you can do it!! It just takes a lil time ☺️ X

@Shayelle2009

I think it takes some getting used to *@WeWantTheFinestWines* but Ive lived on my own now since I was 27, I’m now 40. Do you have any pets? Maybe adopt a lovely cat? What things do you enjoy most, are you a bit of a homebody, do you enjoy cooking? I love making big complex curries that take hours. I like a drink 🍷 hehe.. look forward to a nice glass of wine. You could try exercise? Gym, walking? Online exercise vids and follow them? Maybe there are other ladies or hobby groups in your village? You just have to relearn and start loving a new way of living 💛 you can do it!! It just takes a lil time ☺️ X

Those are really excellent suggestions, thank you shayelle. I am ridiculously dog broody but work full time so that is sadly not an option. Not big on cooking or exercise but the scenery around here is beautiful and I like listening to podcasts so I think I need to go for some walks with a good podcast in my ears. And I should get back into reading. And I love a glass of wine. I basically need to stop feeling sorry for myself 😊

How about some low impact workouts @WeWantTheFinestWines? I will post some links… do you drive? maybe plan some days out? Or jump on the train somewhere, coffees, shopping.. singledom is a gal’s paradise in so many ways ☺️

@Shayelle2009

How about some low impact workouts *@WeWantTheFinestWines*? I will post some links… do you drive? maybe plan some days out? Or jump on the train somewhere, coffees, shopping.. singledom is a gal’s paradise in so many ways ☺️

You really make it sound fun! Thank you, you've totally got it sussed and I'm in awe of your positivity. I will try the exercising... and then have some wine... thank you shayelle xxx

@WeWantTheFinestWines I had never lived on my own until relatively recently and it took some getting used to.
I think it's normal the first few occasions to feel quite empty and the temptation to fill that void with who/whatever is strong. But learning to live with that/cope led to me thriving and it takes someone special to interrupt my free time now!

[quote Heartbeats0708]@WeWantTheFinestWines I had never lived on my own until relatively recently and it took some getting used to.
I think it's normal the first few occasions to feel quite empty and the temptation to fill that void with who/whatever is strong. But learning to live with that/cope led to me thriving and it takes someone special to interrupt my free time now![/quote]
That's lovely to hear heartbeats. I think I need to give it time. Thank you xx

@WeWantTheFinestWines I can definitely relate to the loneliness and it's usually what drives me back to the apps - so I want to not do that this time! I agree with the others that finding things to bring you joy is the name of the game, but it's also okay to feel sad and lonely - it passes I find if I allow the feelings it helps a bit. If you want to meet other people then meetup.com might be good, depends on your area. I actually often find the times when I'm with the kids the most lonely, especially as they get older, as I can't easily do my own thing then. I'm also about to adopt a rescue cat to shower it with my spare love - rather than random undeserving men

Checking in. Enjoying the thread

Spoke to the coffee iron, call him Mr coffee. He said he did ask to pay for second round but I didn't hear. I am deaf.
He said he'll pay for everything next time.

Agree with @Misty9 @WeWantTheFinestWines it’s so normal to feel sad and lonely sometimes however that is the worst part of living on your own and of course every situation has its good and bad points …
I’m totally into fitness because you wouldn’t believe the positive impact it has on your mood, your well being, your anxiety levels… and your confidence about your body when you start seeing those results. I’m a massive advocate of keep fit and exercising 🙂🙂

[quote Misty9]@WeWantTheFinestWines I can definitely relate to the loneliness and it's usually what drives me back to the apps - so I want to not do that this time! I agree with the others that finding things to bring you joy is the name of the game, but it's also okay to feel sad and lonely - it passes I find if I allow the feelings it helps a bit. If you want to meet other people then meetup.com might be good, depends on your area. I actually often find the times when I'm with the kids the most lonely, especially as they get older, as I can't easily do my own thing then. I'm also about to adopt a rescue cat to shower it with my spare love - rather than random undeserving men [/quote]
How lovely getting a cat Misty 😻 I will try not to get swipe-obsessed and instead allow the feelings, as you so eloquently put it. Thank you 😊

@Shayelle2009

Agree with *@Misty9* *@WeWantTheFinestWines* it’s so normal to feel sad and lonely sometimes however that is the worst part of living on your own and of course every situation has its good and bad points … I’m totally into fitness because you wouldn’t believe the positive impact it has on your mood, your well being, your anxiety levels… and your confidence about your body when you start seeing those results. I’m a massive advocate of keep fit and exercising 🙂🙂

I hate exercise so much 🤣🤣 But I need to get fitter and feel happier, so I should give it a go.