Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Dancerinthemoonlight when are you going to Wimbledon?? 😊😊

@shayelle2009 it's today. I'm really looking forward to it as I get to see my favourite player so it would be a bucket list for me.

Eeeek how wonderful, hope you have the BEST day 🤩🤩

@Dancerinthemoonlight enjoy wimbledon today, how's the weather shaping up? We've had weeks of proper thunderstorms over here. One of the girls at work is such a massive fan of a well known tennis player that when she realised he was visiting for a tournament, she checked into the same hotel as him for a week to see if she could spot him... (she lives here by the way in the same city as the hotel....)
@jugglingjobs i touched on this just the other day as i started to get voice notes from the one man i'm seeing at the moment (MrElf). We've met a fair few times though but i'm also not a fan of voice messages if i'm honest. But this man you've 'matched' with sounds really full on. Especially if you've got children who are of an age to want to know who you're speaking too. I'd be wary meeting him. I think definitely fine to txt a lot in the beginning and chat one evening to fix plans to meet. I'm often forward in giving my number so i don't have to chat on the app as much. Get side-tracked and suddenly start swiping when that isn't what i intended to do. I think its also best to meet as soon as you can rather than get sucked into a 'text-relationship' where you think the connection is amazing only to find it's a tumble-weeds scene when you eventually meet.

Hey all. I have been busy with work/handover plans. Kids/hospitals and taxi services. Friends/holidays and nights out.

It seems I now have 5 semi-regular lovers ...(and a couple more I could call) all bring something awesome to the table. I mean I always knew I was non monogamous but it seems to suit me.
The only thing I'm missing is a true romantic partner but Mr HT does that sometimes.

They all know btw. That's my thing about non monogamy - it must be ethical.

I don't believe in true love anymore. I honestly feel so jaded. In a funny way Ms Jam (who has become a wonderful friend and it's a times almost like we are dating without sex) needed new names for them so while on holiday at the weekend we made good name for them.

Mr HT - (Steak) I have total feels for, it's been almost 7 months now and the sex, although vanilla, is wonderful - we just work. It's getting so intimate and affectionate, hence the feels. He is still in protective mode and there's still some distance but when he's here, he is 100% invested.

Mr Music - (Cajun Chicken) Anyone who was here a year ago might remember I got a wee bit obsessed with this one 😂 well we accidentally re-connected on Fab a few weeks back (he didn't know it was me so my anon profile works) and after a very good conversation we've fell into a nice relaxed but steamy and spicy FWB.

Mr Sounds - (Rack of Ribs) lovely sweetheart who's lifestyle doesn't fit with mine for anything more than irregular FWB, which is probably good because I need a few days rest after he's been here for the night 😉

Mr Bear - (Lamb Shank) the most thoughtful and considerate and the most F of the the FWB, we've not yet found our B grove yet but due to schedules and location meet about once a month.

Mr SAS - (Pork Chop) my original Fab daddy, a very kind, sweet very experienced swinger who watches out for me in this world and translates profiles for me etc. He also totally gets off on the fact that I have the above list.

I know I'd give it all up if Mr HT wanted me to. He doesn't, and I think part of me will always be physically non-monogamous - even if I become romantically monogamous. I also admitted to myself that I have the others to protect myself from becoming so invested in Mr HT. the reason I have given him so many chances is I'm crazy about him but I know it could go away just as easy. He also admitted he keeps coming back because we fit so easily but he is afraid and keeps some separation as protection.

I have such a complicated brain ... and 40's rampant hormones that make me want ALL the sexy men, and that means I don't always make the smart choice.

Having a lot of Fab experience, I'm happy to help/answer questions.

Re voice notes - this is how Mr Music and I mostly communicate. He is hilarious and I love it. It wouldn't be the same with others though.

Wowzers @cravingthelook you are so sorted and frankly so goddamn lucky I am hereby awarding you a prize for being sane, sorted and on top of the apps.

Amazing. Love the update 💓

@naimee87 thank you. It's a bit overcast but bright. Got an umbrella with me just incase.
Looking forward to day of relaxing and not worrying about things. Going to find somewhere to eat afterwards and have a lovely dinner out on my own. Feeling the self care thing today

Enjoy @Dancerinthemoonlight

Quite enjoying some of my tinder chats/contacts right now.

I’m impatient and don’t like being on the apps too long

but maybe a week is just too little time to get any decent contacts - I guess with work and other commitments it takes the nice guys longer to “cycle round” to meeting people and swiping.

So the chances are the main guys I’m getting “within a week” will be the desperate intense ones and I do need to give the apps a bit longer.

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@naimee87 thank you. It's a bit overcast but bright. Got an umbrella with me just incase.
Looking forward to day of relaxing and not worrying about things. Going to find somewhere to eat afterwards and have a lovely dinner out on my own. Feeling the self care thing today[/quote]
Have a fantastic day

@SpringlikeBunk

Enjoy *@Dancerinthemoonlight*

Quite enjoying some of my tinder chats/contacts right now.

I’m impatient and don’t like being on the apps too long

but maybe a week is just too little time to get any decent contacts - I guess with work and other commitments it takes the nice guys longer to “cycle round” to meeting people and swiping.

So the chances are the main guys I’m getting “within a week” will be the desperate intense ones and I do need to give the apps a bit longer.

I always found 3 weeks was optimal to do enough swiping, get enough chats going and then come off with some plans in place and a few numbers of people that might have been worth pursuing.

Yy agree that seems optimum @BelladiMamma

I haven’t really had time over the last year to go “really full-on” with dating as I’ve had too much work stuff cropping up

so I’ve mainly been dipping in for a couple of days or a week max!

Which has been “ok” - I’m in a big city so the dating pool is generally strong.

But it often seems to be the “over keen guys” or who want sex ASAP are over represented early on ?

Even my first two Fab contacts seemed to be desperate/pushy/intense/have too much time and been rejected lots and just be approaching everyone.

whereas I think the more chilled genuinely compatible ones are sort of cycling through now.

• I realise I’m on Fab so complaining about “wanting sex early on” is arguably a bit hypocritical.

But I mean as in “pushy and desperate for sex with anyone” vibe guys

@jugglingjobs I believe myself to be well adjusted (read: horrendously jaded) and I think you're being perfectly reasonable in your communication requirements before having met someone and established something is there. A few messages before that can help start some threads of conversation to pull on when you meet, otherwise I think there's an element of over-committing and then having to pull back from things, which is never really nice for either party to experience.

@cravingthelook god i wish i had your confidence and 'organisational' skills. Juggling so many must be so much fun! I'm lucky if i can get one on the go and keep him. It's interesting reading about your comments on MrHT because the last man MrS bascially said he didn't find it fair to me to have me be 'with' him because he couldn't offer me what i wanted. I suppose fair for him to say but i'd been convincing myself he wanted more and it'd only be a matter of time. If i could have kept him for sex i so would have but i couldn't dettach and would have just ended up getting more hurt. Really looking forward to hearing how your eventful dates go!
@Dancerinthemoonlight i had unexpected free time on the weekend and usually i'd have tried filling it with a date. MrElf is away and not too sure how 'exclusive' we are yet, so think dating others is still fine at this point. Or i would get busy with household stuff but i actually decided to just relax at home then took myself into town for some shopping just for me which felt so good to do. Definitely preferable to a crappy date '0' and got an outfit now for if a date is on the cards with MrElf this weekend. Weather here is so bad i almost drowned getting from my car to the shop

@SpringlikeBunk

Yy agree that seems optimum *@BelladiMamma*

I haven’t really had time over the last year to go “really full-on” with dating as I’ve had too much work stuff cropping up

so I’ve mainly been dipping in for a couple of days or a week max!

Which has been “ok” - I’m in a big city so the dating pool is generally strong.

But it often seems to be the “over keen guys” or who want sex ASAP are over represented early on ?

Even my first two Fab contacts seemed to be desperate/pushy/intense/have too much time and been rejected lots and just be approaching everyone.

whereas I think the more chilled genuinely compatible ones are sort of cycling through now.

That's a really useful reminder. The guys who want immediate sex get into your inbox early, and in an intense way.

However that does make it easier to just check them out ... easy come easy go ... biiiii 👋🏻

@SpringlikeBunk

* I realise I’m on Fab so complaining about “wanting sex early on” is arguably a bit hypocritical.

But I mean as in “pushy and desperate for sex with anyone” vibe guys

Yes!!!!

All of mine are from Fab... there's enough men on there for you to be really picky and hold your values and boundaries strong and just move along/block the pushy ones.

Having said that when I met Mr HT we'd text a lot and had a few phone calls. We met for a beach walk and brunch. We went to mine later and had sex that evening. We ended up together 12 hours that day but I never felt pushed at all.

I've just had a message from a guy wanting to buy my used panties

I might have to consider it ... but primark pants, wear and sell hahaha

Oh the things that go on!

First Fab date this evening confirmed.

Please vote on the following predictions, winners will be confirmed later this evening.

1. Good meet, plan to see again.
2. Elderly man/not like photos.
3. Too shy.
4. Doesn't turn up.
5. Nutcase.

Thanks lovely @cravingthelook nice to see you back

I kind of wonder sometimes if the "sexual pushiness" of guys on main apps is due to them thinking that the women are just going to want dates or drinks out but not actually be sexually attracted to them?

So they feel they have to "seal the deal" earlier. Sort of romantic Mutual Assured Destruction.

But this leads to mutual distrust because if I know speaking for myself, if I feel coerced in any way I go mental (angry) and just detach.

My last two sexual irons it was first meet and third meet and I instigated the first kiss (call me slapperBunk) but if I'd felt "pushed" it would have been a no.

Even if I'm attracted to the guy I don't want to feel coerced into it?

So once they "know" that sex is likely then it makes the whole interaction more relaxed.

Loved reading your update too @cravingthelook and I am so envious you have so many cool connections, the cut of meat description for each is hilarious 😂 it sounds like a great barbecue!! 😍 I wish I could even meet one iron but one is perhaps a lot riskier than a few of them...

I am fascinated and tempted by the fab site and what I’ve been reading here, just not sure I’m in the right place for any bombardment at the mo.. I feel hermit like.. but at the same time it sounds like sooo much fun and a more up front way to meet people?!

@SpringlikeBunk hope he is so much better than what you imagine!!! Have a great time 🙂

Good to hear from you @cravingthelook it sounds like you know what you're doing!
Hope you had a wonderful time at Wimbledon @Dancerinthemoonlight
And good luck for this eve @SpringlikeBunk I hope it's 1 but I'll probably go for 5 based on my experience 😂

I have had an amazing day and now having an impromptu date 0 with a potential (fingers crossed he turns up)

Go @Dancerinthemoonlight!!