Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Romantic voice note from MrPM wishing me goodnight and to have a good week (going to be crazy with work).

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@WeWantTheFinestWines

Set up a blank fab profile and you’ll see!

Tbf it’s just penises, it’s worse when it’s like chatting on tinder about your life and ambitions and interests and thinking it’s a normal chat

then they start trying to “lead into” photo exchange [/quote]
I set one up last week, nothing in it, by the time it kicked me out I had over forty messages. I need to do the photo verification, but it's a bit tricky when you need to hold up the bit of paper with the words on and have both hands in the photo. I guess you do it in a mirror?

@VanGoghsDog

Ime, they are erect. Not many men are as proud of their flaccid member as they are of their tumescence.

Beautifully put.

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@WeWantTheFinestWines

Set up a blank fab profile and you’ll see!

Tbf it’s just penises, it’s worse when it’s like chatting on tinder about your life and ambitions and interests and thinking it’s a normal chat

then they start trying to “lead into” photo exchange [/quote]
I'm tempted...

@VanGoghsDog

I haven't done the photo verification step it seemed too complicated, but still seem to be matching fine?

[quote SpringlikeBunk]@VanGoghsDog

I haven't done the photo verification step it seemed too complicated, but still seem to be matching fine?[/quote]
Oh right, mine locked me out after an hour saying I can't go back on til I've done the photo thing.

I'm on a roll lol 😂

Mr Prison messaged and asked if I wanted to 'hang out' on Tuesday. I was honest and told him that I need to take a step back from dating and that casual situations aren't working for me.

Doesn't sound like much but that's crazy assertive for me!

I've also archived Mr Waffle as he hasn't even spoken to me for a week and I knew that was dead in the water anyway. I'm still very casually talking to Mr Campervan but have accepted that it will just be a friendship if anything.

I've deleted my dating apps and officially have no irons on the go. Onwards and upwards 😊

@VanGoghsDog oh that's strange!

@troobleflooble

Good for you.

I think sometimes (speaking for myself, we've all been there) it feels easier to fill up your schedule and WhatsApp chats with "not quite right guys" than it is to sit there looking at an empty phone screen/no notifications!

But I guess it's only possible to meet new nice people having "cleared away the emotional users"?

What is FAB?
Currently no irons. Was speaking to a Mr Rabbit, who was seperated 6 months, but in love with his wife still. He text me hundreds of times over 2 weeks, spoke on phone and got on so well then boom, he is 'busy' soon as I start returning the interest. Normal for a recently seperated man?
Also Mr Bigntall. Few messages, arrange a drink, then he asks if I'm 'down' with him booking a hotel room. Cancelled him.
So tiring. Oh and I got banned from Tinder.
Now on Badoo and POF and the choice is extremely limited.
I come back here to realise I'm not the only one going through this.
Oh forgot to mention Mr Nurse. Met for 3 hours. He took the piss out of my 'posh' accent the whole time, to the point I'm thinking he clearly dislikes me...when it came to goodbye...the hug he gave went on forever...then he ran his hands up my back into my hair, then proceeded to massage my sweaty scalp (hot day...) and hair, making a mess of it. Went on so long. Made 'help me' faces to passersby to no effect. In the end he released, and went for a sucking my bottom lip kiss. So he was a no.
Now thinking a casual shag would be nice as I've not had sex for 9 years. I did have sex with ex bf last year, but he had 'issues' with blood pressure in a certain part of his anatomy. God knows when I will meet someone nice to have a relationship and sex with...

@MrsDevery

LOL I think we all have our fair share of nutcases - it's just getting the "reading signs and red flags early on" right isn't it? (and even then the nutters still are able to get through the screening).

I'm new to Fab so haven't met anyone yet, but it's more casual sex based, others have more knowledge if you scroll back through the thread.

I've got some ok chats on there so seeing how those go for now.

Maybe set up a profile and have a look if you're keen on some physical stuff soon

(it's a bit of a shock to the system as some people are quite "direct" initially - don't put a photo up initially, or keep a face one private in case anyone nice messages then send it back to only them.

It's a bit like POF in that there's no initial screen beyond a basic filter for age, so you find you delete ten messages without even opening them.

Also it's quite sex based but obviously keep whatever boundaries and contact levels you are normally comfortable with - the guys I am chatting to know we're not "dating for a serious relationship"

but we're not sexting or making any physical promises beyond a social meet, and no they didn't send a dick photo to me so that is a mystery still...)

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Yay for happy news from Garamedouar!

Good luck with your surgery VanGogh - that diet sounds like a recipe for constipation...

springlike and everyone else who gets sent dick pics - I've never seen any, must not have that vibe about me (can't work out if that's good or bad), but was just wondering if they're erect? Or is it more like on Naked Attraction? I'm intrigued...

I've now got a date with Mr Finance on Wednesday. Having been concerned about comms tapering off after we had spoken on the phone, he now seems keen. Which of course puts me off immediately - one of the traits I detest about myself is that the less interested they seem to be, the more keen I am, and vice versa. Like I'm 15.

He's leaving himself two hours to get to the town where we're meeting. I'm less than an hour away. So we'll have dinner, see if there's chemistry. But he's still live several counties away, with opposite child free weekends to mine. But there's so much about him I like. Intelligent, intellectually challenging, funny, successful, respectful, communicative, doesn't look like a potato... so how can I not meet him?

Ho hum. How exciting that people off the thread are meeting IRL - I'm on the South Coast! 👋

Yay that's another for the South!

@MrsDevery your post really made me laugh. What an awkward good-bye! I do often think what the best way to end the date is if you really aren't feeling it and they so clearly are. He sounded like a knob though and why would you make fun of someone when trying to make a good impression. You're well rid for sure. I actually liked Badoo, its where i met MrElf who is the only one i am currently chatting too/seeing. I found the men on there to be way chattier than on any of the other apps.

What are opinions on voice messages? Anyone a big fan? or Video calls?

@SpringlikeBunk thank you for that! But what is the longer name of FAB I couldnt find it? When I look on Google Play lots of dating apps show, not sure which are UK based?

Thank you for advice on the app, I'm just working out how I might feel about someone after and how I might feel about sex no strings. Reassuring to know there are no expectations from the men you've chosen to speak to.

@troobleflooble You're really on a roll - go you😁

@VanGoghsDog I put my phone camera on a timer, propped it up on the dressing table and ta-da.

@MrsDevery Fab is actually Fabswingers, there are couples who swing on there but a lot are people looking for casual sex.
The main thing to consider is that some are not actually single so you need to weed them out.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

@WeWantTheFinestWines Join fab and then look at the Hot photos section for men and you'll find an array of very hot men with cocks on show.
Personally when I was only looking for casual sex I wanted dick pics as I wanted to know what they were offering.

@MrsDevery

Fab Swingers.

@bangheadhere40 Hope your date went well yesterday.

@Naimee87 it was like being in an episode of Extras, expected Ricky Gervaise to pop up any second. He could have rescued me.

On Badoo today I saw a short video of a bloke among his pictures. That was good as you can see a bit more of his personality come through?

As for video calls, not done one yet? But if it's anything like as socially awkward as they make it on the news...

I tried FAB last year, but decided it wasn't for me, but I did have a few very respectful messages that surprised me and seemed like a nicer lot in general than some of the men on another site I was on at the time.

I had a crazy busy weekend of matches, most have come to nothing.
1 guy seems lovely, but I think our lifestyles are just too different. Still talking to the sporty one and we have swapped numbers, he is just coming out of a messy divorce so I'm going to just see how things go without getting too ahead of myself. I do want to meet up quickly though as I can't be bothered doing the long drawn out penpal thing again. I'll give it a day or two and then ask if he wants to meet for coffee on the weekend.

Hi guys, thank you...forgot to update last night.

He was a nice enough guy but I didn't really feel any connection so won't be seeing again.

Ah well 😁

@bangheadhere40 - Aww sorry to hear that

@Naimee87 - I've done video dates a few times and find they are more awkward if you haven't met "in real life" before. I tend to give a set time limit for the call, otherwise it can really drag if you're not feeling it. During Lockdown I video called with a guy I had met for a date before and it felt easier.

I've decided to give sporty guy a name: MrMud

@MrsDevery sounds so funny, i'd have not held in my laughter at that i don't think i'd have been like what are you doing?
Is Fab the app where you don't have a photo on your profile so you pick who to message by the sound of their profile instead? Or is this a different one.
@bangheadhere40 how was your date? any bizarre behaviour, hope it did go well.
@SpringlikeBunk when's moving day? You having to start getting packed up? or is it only after the summer... and whose MrPM i must have missed the posts on him.

Ahh that’s a shame @bangheadhere40 but well done getting out there ☺️☺️ X

This weekend has been a real eye opener for me and so has starting to read the Mr Unavailable and the fallback girl.
I am a classic Miss Independent.
I realised that in my head I have created such a picture perfect idea of a man that no one will ever be able to live up to because it stops me getting hurt again.

I am having a reset of all the apps, creating new profiles and trying to change my mindset. Just go out and meet new men who I like the look of rather than judging someone before I get to know them.

Is Fab the app where you don't have a photo on your profile so you pick who to message by the sound of their profile instead? Or is this a different one.

Fab isn't an app. It's a swingers website, for people looking for partners for sex, in many many forms. Primarily it was set up for swinging couples to find other swingers, or spares, but now it's just used by people looking for sex partners.

So, it's like dating but skipping the dating and moving on to the sex part without having to pay for dinner. And yes, there are many many photos!!! Some with a bow on top.....

@VanGoghsDog (and everyone else too)
I have learnt so much from being on this chat in the past few months than my many many years of failed dating/relationships. Thank you Everyone!
@Dancerinthemoonlight i think i've done that too, created a perfect picture of what i want for myself and write men off too quickly when they don't fit the bill. But the neighbour i've mentioned really ticked almost every box, he wasn't my usual type looks-wise but definitely no potatoe. I just didn't click with him at all, no chemistry whatsoever from my side. It really is tough to get everything you want. I'm trying to see how things pan out with MrElf but as @Dirtyduck said about lifestyles being incompatible our lifestyles may not work as he's so much more free, career-wise (he could work anywhere) and is from another country as well. So not too sure how invested to get at this stage. I'm a super chatty person (as you can probably tell) but i think a facetime call without having met could be awkward. I had my first video call with MrElf today but hit call by mistake as i was on whatsapp messaging with him (i had no make-up on at all as no meetings today) he answered so i couldn't hang up . Went well though, was nice to see him and he's more chatty than me so ended up having to end it as really needed to do some work.