Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@bangheadhere40 oooh good going with MrBadJumper (BJ) hope it turns out to be fun, you’ve waited long enough for a match ☺️

@SortingItOut and @Dancerinthemoonlight that’s so cool you have an Anglian gang!

@BelladiMamma we are neighbours! 👋

I like the sound of MrDinner @SpringlikeBunk. I want one like that!! He sounds great! 😊

@troobleflooble well done for standing your ground and your boundaries, hope you feel proud of yourself 💖 you’ve the right thing I’m off the apps too and I do feel like they can be quite damaging emotionally at times, it can start making you feel a little bit worthless, which is bullshit. It takes a while to feel better after removing them I find

[quote Shayelle2009]@bangheadhere40 oooh good going with MrBadJumper (BJ) hope it turns out to be fun, you’ve waited long enough for a match ☺️

@SortingItOut and @Dancerinthemoonlight that’s so cool you have an Anglian gang!

@BelladiMamma we are neighbours! 👋[/quote]
Cool. Let me see if I can work out the technology to send a DM 😃

What does posh cock look like?

Circumcised.

@troobleflooble Well done on speaking to Mr Tall, I'm glad you feel so much lighter after speaking to him.
Remember that you might feel all sorts of emotions over the next few weeks, its all part of the grieving process and completely normal.

Having a break from the apps sounds a very good idea.

Thanks @SortingItOut and @Shayelle2009 😊 It needed to be said but I'm just so so sad about it. I would have ended up falling in love with him, stuck in limbo where I couldn't move on to anyone else and he still didn't want a relationship with me. We decided that because the sexual chemistry and attraction is so strong it would be too difficult to just be platonic friends, we would end up flirting and having sex again and be right back where we started. I really didn't want to lose him but the effect it's having on my MH is overwhelming at times.

I had a similar situation with a different guy a few years ago, we never progressed beyond the shagging stage and I was devastated when he ended it after 7 months. I didn't want to put myself in that position again.

I already feel worthless most of the time. Being on the apps in a constant cycle of being rejected or meeting people who don't want the same things is really draining. I'm emotionally exhausted 😞 I just want to think about anything else for a while.

@BelladiMamma - 👋🏼 I’m SE - a bit of a trek - but a nice train journey away

I haven’t been on the thread much , I’ve been reading but lurking - but just popped on to say going really well with MrJ - we are now officially ‘going out’ , exclusive , both off the apps. And making plans for summer. Never thought I’d get here …. Very happy

I had my first fab meet yesterday - just a social - it was just like a first from any dating site - no sex talk at all but there has been in the messaging since. Got another one today but this one is very different - we've both said if we like one another we'll extend it somewhere private - eek

@Letthefunandgamesstart Good luck today.
At the risk of sounding like a mum 'please tell someone where you are going if you go off with this man - location and also a time you will check back in with them'
If you are taking him back to yours please be very careful - ultimately he is a stranger and we wouldnt normally invite strangers to our home.

@GaraMedouar Great news on you and Mr J - enjoy your summer with him😁

Sortingitout - yes got that sorted !

Thank you @SortingItOut - never thought I’d be lucky enough to meet someone!

Does anyone know the best way to know your attachment style? I did a quiz which says I'm fearful avoidant which doesn't sound great

trooble I completely understand ☹ I can't risk speaking to my ex iron again and feeling like I used to. I just can't do it to myself and it was holding me back.

Enjoy the dates today- I will update later about Mr BadJumper. Hopefully the conversation flows, I've not done this for a while 😬

@GaraMedouar sounds lovely, have a great time together.
@troobleflooble dating is so much headwork but I can see it took strength for you to end it as you liked him so well done. I've been on so, so, so many dates, it really does wear thin. And it's so exhausting.

Thank you @FluffyFluffMonster

@FluffyFluffMonster I did one and I'm textbook anxious/preoccupied 😞 Now I just have to figure out how not to be!

@bangheadhere40 thank you 😊 It was very hard and a lot of tears were shed but I know from previous experience it doesn't get any better. I'm only about 2 months in at this point so if I cut it off now I have a chance to heal from it quickly, the longer I leave it the more damage it'll do.

I realised the other day that actually I am responsible for my own feelings. No one is 'making' me sad or making me feel useless, unworthy, etc etc. I am doing that to myself. Mr Tall or any of the others are not responsible for how I feel about them or about myself. I have the power to change and do something about it. It's quite a revelation actually, to know that I have control over the way I feel. To some extent anyway 😂

Forgot to say, Good luck with Mr BadJumper @bangheadhere40!

Congratulations @GaraMedouar 😊 I'm happy for you x

Congratulations @GaraMedouar!

@FluffyFluffMonster Personal Development school have an attachment quiz which is very good.

I'm fearful avoidant too, not great as I'd like to be secure but at least once we k ow we can improve.

Having read up on fearful avoidant I definitely am...i blame my childhood and my ex husband but I know I can change and only I can do that.
I've accepted my past and as an adult I am in control of my future.

Uplifting to hear another success @GaraMedouar! Enjoy yourselves 😊😊

@troobleflooble the apps absolutely make you feel that way. I bet you notice a huge difference in a few days when you've deleted them all. You are far from worthless and just as full of value as every other nice person on the planet 💗

I'm waiting and so nervous again. I wasn't all day at all but now I am eek. Not even sure why, it's just a date zero.

I hate having anxiety sometimes. 😫

@bangheadhere40 just think of it as meeting a friend, hope it goes well😁