Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards yep, best to unmatch if the chat is already annoying you.

@RamonaLark glad the chat went well, he sounds very open. Why doesn't he want a relationship? Is it just casual to him/you?

@Isitreallyme77 is Mr Cricket the one who only wanted casual? Just stay out of rhe friendzone but also don't put all your eggs in one basket as he probably is still chasing others. Keep all your options open and meet others as you post about him as though he's your one iron which leaves you a bit exposed if he ends up friending you.

Date 3 today with Mr Computer Bloke and although he's appeared a slow burner, i like that we regularly flirt and chat in between dates. I could easily navigate it to get more physical by going back to his but im unsure whether to take that step yet however i wouldn't mind testing the waters some more.

Hey Eesha 👋 lovely to hear you’ve had 3 good dates!! Hope your new jobs going good too 😊😊💗💗

@Eesha for me personally, a relationship means I see and want to build a future with someone. To me he is still a relative stranger and I am only 18 months out of a marriage. I’m enjoying dating him and we’ve done some activities I enjoy so far, with more fun stuff to come. I really don’t mind if a relationship develops or not, I’m just enjoying myself.

For him, I didn’t delve but he said “he’s not ready”. We’ve only known each other a few weeks and slept together once. That to me is absolutely fair enough and I wasn’t asking for a relationship. It may be a global “he’s not ready” which generally means “I don’t like you enough”. Again, unsurprising as we don’t know each other that well and perhaps don’t like each other enough.

I’m not feeling invested but am looking forward to our in date (in July 🙄) when we have planned a full day of really cool stuff. It’s perfect for me at the moment. Totally relaxed with all the fun bits of an early relationship and no pressure.

@Eesha I hope you have a great time with Mr Computer Bloke!

@Eesha hey! no Mr Cricket was the one who didn't have time to start anything right now as he is in a tricky place in his personal life (commercial pilot during covid and the stupid traffic light system, selling his marital home, ex wife being difficult with that), he wanted to stay in touch and we have (message almost every day). He has been nothing but a gentleman (I can't get used to not paying my way when we're out for instance) and we have met up since having that discussion. I'm not going into this with any expectations for a future relationship, if it ends up being just as friends then I'm happy with that, but I'm enjoying getting to know him(we are both typical Scorpios). I'm off the apps because I just don't have time right now (life has kicked off again).

@Eesha good luck on your date! ❤️

Finally a new iron...decided to bite the bullet and asked if he wants to get a coffee tomorrow, no reply yet 😁 I'm not faffing about anymore with men that just want penpals.

He said yes - date zero tomorrow then. Mr BadJumper.

Well now @bangheadhere40, good news about date zero and if things progress he’ll become Mr BJ !! 🤗

Aha ha Mr BJ 😃

Thanks, not holding out too much hope though.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards conversation by txt is really important. This MrElf said ‚will you let me get to know you‘ so i said sure and wrote a massive essay, i thought lets see what he‘ll do. Funnily enough he wrote back almost as much as me and i liked that he didn‘t just ask for photo‘s. We also happen to have a really big common interest so this helped and had good common ground right away. Any other potentials on the go?
@bangheadhere40 yeaaa go for it! Hoping it goes well!! Where do you plan to go, are things pretty much all opened up in the UK?
@Heartbeats0708 its funny because my friend is in a new ‚relationship‘ and was properly going full into worst case scenario without any red-flags from him that i could see of. He seems to genuinely care/like her a lot so her anxiety came from nowhere. I managed to calm her down and now i seem to be in panic mode with MrElf… he‘s given me no reason to doubt he doesn‘t mean what he says and we‘ve had really good dates but my head just keeps asking when‘s it going to end. I‘m an overthinker in everything just wish it was
more in a positive way. Hope you‘re doing OK with your feelings about everything today! It doesn‘t help that he‘s away at the moment but amazingly has checked in every day even with voice
messages and i hate these because i sound about 12!

Yesterday was weird I had so many matches I couldn't catch up with them all.
I unmatched with the weirdo guy. I'm still talking with the sporty one but not sure about him if I'm honest, sounds like he might have some tricky baggage to deal with, and there are a few others in early stages, I've binned off 2 others for coming back with 1 word responses, I need proper conversation!

@RamonaLark i wish i‘d have been capable of this in the past but i never was…i tried to tell myself i could be but i‘d only ever be kidding myself thinking i could change their minds and they‘d eventually want a relationship! I really wish i could have had that with MrS because he was amazing but i‘d feel great for a day or two after then just really really rubbish! I‘m considering the morning coffee date with MrElf next week when he is back and really really hoping we‘ve got good chemistry! Because then i‘ve a child free weekend coming up! Yay!

I've had meet up 2 with someone from this thread today.....

@Dancerinthemoonlight and I have formed an East Anglian contingent 😁

If anyone would like to join us let me know...currently we're a contingent of 2😂

Ironically Mr K was worried about me meeting a stranger from the internet in a public place.....even though I met him on Fab and our first meet was at his house 🤦‍♀️

@SortingItOut

I've had meet up 2 with someone from this thread today.....

@Dancerinthemoonlight and I have formed an East Anglian contingent 😁

If anyone would like to join us let me know...currently we're a contingent of 2😂

Ironically Mr K was worried about me meeting a stranger from the internet in a public place.....even though I met him on Fab and our first meet was at his house 🤦‍♀️

Gutted! I used to be East Anglia. Am now SE near Brighton ... anyone want to form another faction 😀

I’m in East Anglia!

@Naimee87 I’ve had similar connections before and have been fine. I can empathise because I had one which felt crap in a similar way and I carried on longer than I should have. He was still hung up on his ex (and talking to her a lot) whilst telling me how much he liked me. He ended up heartbroken at the end and I spent a lot of time feeling lower worth even though I didn’t want him. Needless to say, I learned a lot of lessons.

I think I can do it with the right people in the right circumstances. I haven’t wanted a relationship yet so haven’t wanted to change anyone’s mind. The honest truth is there is an odd bit of my brain that has had the attitude in the past that I don’t want them but I kind of want them to want me 😂. I just keep making sure it is actually what I want and adding to my life, if it isn’t, I stop doing it. Obviously with lots of honesty and respect towards each other so we are both happy.

We are just going to a pub naimee he suggested for food but I'm not sure as yet.

I think he's a little shy, it will be nice to get out anyway, even if he doesn't turn into Mr BJ.

I'm north west if anyone else is 😁

Thanks @Naimee87 I'm feeling much better today. I saw Mr D last night and I said I just wanted to check we were on the same page re exclusivity, of course we are. Now just have to get over the nerves and find the opportunity!
Hope it goes well @bangheadhere40 good for you for asking directly!
This made me laugh @SortingItOut "Ironically Mr K was worried about me meeting a stranger from the internet in a public place.....even though I met him on Fab and our first meet was at his house"

@RamonaLark ooh hello, I've sent a PM.

@Heartbeats0708 I know right🙄
He thinks our situation was different🤦‍♀️

Well done on having the chat with Mr D, its good you're on the same page.

All quiet here. Need to break my Fab virginity (arf) even if just doing a social meet to "see what they're like", but just chilling out right now.
Glad I dismissed the guy who was suggesting meeting at his - it's harder to keep boundaries when you're" caught up in contacts".

Jealous of all the meeting threadies it sounds more exciting than my array of dates.

MrPM sent a cool photo message of him on a random ship (theme of my dating life), I have to arrange seeing MrDinner as well? He said drinks and dinner and beach but I might find a nightclub as well as I fancy having a dance and he did say he liked music.

Are nightclubs open where you are then? They're not open in England yet.

I'm back from Wales. Decorating not finished. Had a nice time.

MrTall texted me, said I had thoroughly pissed him off, but he watched a clip of my favorite band and agrees they are good. Then gave me an update on his house renovations. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Got rid of another Fab guy who was asking for another full-length photo .

Wrote the usual “don’t think there’s mutual clicking in advance for both of us” polite spiel.

Irate one back, so glad I didn’t meet.

Also how he wasn’t the “usual chav” on the site

I’m not sure how I can tell the guys messaging me on Fab are chavs or not - I can’t really tell any class differences/signifiers in my wall of dick pic introductions. What does posh cock look like?

Just had a very long and emotional conversation with Mr Tall.

He wanted to come round this evening (presumably for sex). I really wanted to talk to him face to face and I'm a little bit tipsy which upped my confidence to the point where I felt I could say no to sex and tell him what I really think/feel.

Well. He came round, tried it on. I said no and told him everything about how I really feel and we've decided to cut contact. Said goodbye.

I feel oddly lighter and better having my real feelings out in the open but at the same time heartbroken that he really didn't want anything more than sex. Deep down I knew it but I had hope. Oh well.

I'm coming off all the apps. There's no one I like on there and all my recent dates have been disappointing and crap. I'm fed up with it all

[quote Naimee87]@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards conversation by txt is really important. This MrElf said ‚will you let me get to know you‘ so i said sure and wrote a massive essay, i thought lets see what he‘ll do. Funnily enough he wrote back almost as much as me and i liked that he didn‘t just ask for photo‘s. We also happen to have a really big common interest so this helped and had good common ground right away. Any other potentials on the go?
@bangheadhere40 yeaaa go for it! Hoping it goes well!! Where do you plan to go, are things pretty much all opened up in the UK?
@Heartbeats0708 its funny because my friend is in a new ‚relationship‘ and was properly going full into worst case scenario without any red-flags from him that i could see of. He seems to genuinely care/like her a lot so her anxiety came from nowhere. I managed to calm her down and now i seem to be in panic mode with MrElf… he‘s given me no reason to doubt he doesn‘t mean what he says and we‘ve had really good dates but my head just keeps asking when‘s it going to end. I‘m an overthinker in everything just wish it was
more in a positive way. Hope you‘re doing OK with your feelings about everything today! It doesn‘t help that he‘s away at the moment but amazingly has checked in every day even with voice
messages and i hate these because i sound about 12![/quote]
@Naimee87 I agree with you about the initial texting being important. I think this guy was really nice, but he was getting a bit overbearing and seemed obsessed with how my day/weekend was. He just wasn't for me, I think.

No potentials as yet, but I'm pleased that I joined Hinge, I like how assessable and friendly it is, and there are some lovely guys on there ❤️

Feeling a bit jittery anyway as I've got a phone interview tomorrow afternoon for a place on the Level 5 CIPD HR Associate diploma at college. still got some work to do on my level 3. I had to pause a couple of my written assignments due to problems I was having with my CP.

Hoping I can finish them so I start afresh in September. I'm feeling a bit nervous about my interview, as I really want a place on level 5. It would look really good on my CV. I think part of the worry is my CP playing up on the course again as well. ❤️