Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

How's everyone's weekend looking? Any dates on the horizon?
Things are going really well with Mr D. It feels a bit "too easy". I've learned SO much from this thread and it's absolutely invaluable but I think it has added to my cynicism. I have no reason to think he's not into me, the words and actions match up, no red flags as yet. And I'm still wondering when it'll all go to shit.
We've both come off tinder and the exclusive conversation will come up next time (I want to have it before DTD) but it almost feels a pointless conversation as he'll be mortified I even think he could be seeing others.
He is genuinely so so sweet, thoughtful, remembers even little things I've said. But I'm so wary of getting burned, I don't want to sabotage this. Any thoughts?

@Heartbeats0708 sounds like it's going well. Maybe just enjoy it and dont look too far ahead. Every good wish for you.

@Heartbeats0708 I would say just enjoy it and take each day as it comes. I love it when they remember something that seems so insignificant, Mr Cricket remembered I had had tennis elbow on Monday(we talked about it at our first meeting), it took me by surprise.

@heartbeats0708 - agree it sounds like it's going well and nice to hear positive stories. I wouldn't say it's cynical to be wary of folks you don't really know but probably counter-productive to be ever-vigilant for red flags. Good advice to take it as it comes if you can. Would it be helpful to have a day every few weeks where you check in with each other on how it's going (a big pants day I think I heard someone call it)?

@Heartbeats0708 yes easier said than done just taking it as it comes day by day. It's always been a fear of mine that 'its too good to be true' and i think i let it get in the way so much that it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I ended up pushing them away as i needed way too much reassurance all the time. I've learnt my lesson as there is nothing attractive about being clingy (not at all saying you are) an it all seems like it's really going great so no reason to not relax into it a little bit. He does sound like someone you'd be able to chat to about whats on your mind.

@Heartbeats0708 Overthinker of the year here 🙋‍♀️

To help with overthinking (thanks crap 17 yr emotionally abusive marriage) I have the mantra 'what will be, will be'

As long as I am the best person I can be it is all that matters.

I will enjoy our time together but if it ends, it ends and I have sone great memories.

I agree with dude, just go with the flow for now.

It never rains but it pours! I have 2 new chats on the go now AND MrPosh is chatting again (not going to pursue him in anyway other than on a friendship basis though).
First guy seems a little dull if I'm honest and I already feel like I'm doing all the heavy lifting in the conversation as he's not asking me any questions back. The second guy I actually recognise from another site, I'm not sure why I never clicked with him before, but he seems nice.

Thanks all, much appreciated! I am enjoying it but the niggly voice in the back of my head was shouting about overinvesting and being gullible. I hope it doesn't turn out to be right!
@DudeFromThatLondon yes I think it's a good idea to regularly ish check that we're on the same page.
@Naimee87 he's really easy to talk to, I wouldn't worry about ruining things with a "what are we" conversation or anything. I'm exactly the opposite of clingy in these kind of scenarios though, anxious-avoidant(?). Would push away before clinging!
Thanks @SortingItOut qué sera sera is a favourite of mine too. I'm seeing him later so will try and relax!

Aww that’s lovely @Heartbeats0708. Glad you’ve got something good on the go ☺️👍

Conversation went surprisingly well about sexual exclusivity. He’s on board for not sleeping with others but doesn’t want a relationship at the moment. That suits me just fine so I’m happy.

I’ll be happy to continue dating and having a good time with exclusive sex. I’m not too worried about a relationship, that will happen for me when it happens, if it happens.

We have both been very honest with each other which I really like.

Hi everyone,

So glad to hear your news, @Heartbeats! 😘😘

Nothing much going on with me at the moment. I'm chatting to this guy on Hand it's going okay, nothing earth shattering, though. He's one of those guys who always wants to know exactly what you're doing with your day and weekend though, which is a bit tiring for me as I don't like to make full plans because of my disability.

I'll see how it goes, though 👍🏻❤️

I hate that too @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I just reply vague and general like ‘oh weekendy stuff, out and about!’

@Shayelle2009

I hate that too *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* I just reply vague and general like ‘oh weekendy stuff, out and about!’

@Shayelle2009 I know. God knows what they want you to say!

It's getting a bit annoying now. He asked me how my day was, I said 'I had an okay day, thank you.'

He replied 'any reason it was only ok, or just a normal day?'

I don't know what he wants me to come out with!

I replied, 'well, it was just normal.'

He has now replied and has said that I 'had him worried.'

Huh? I don't get why that would make him worry. That makes so sense at all.

Tedious… would be an unmatch from me… 😬

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

This is just a person with no conversation skills. I find it really tedious when men constantly ask me how my day was, I mean they don't really want to know anyway. I can't talk about my work to strangers and I don't do much else at the best of times, let alone in lockdown!

@Shayelle2009 @VanGoghsDog I know. I find it really boring too, to be honest. I don't like being constantly asked stuff. It makes me feel like I'm at a job interview! 😂

So on our last conversation, I told him that what sort of day I have can depend on my disability. Simple enough to comprehend, you would think.

Oh, no. Not to this chap, it isn't.

He's now said 'well, you said it depends day to day then ok? But ok is a good day?'

Why in heaven's teeth do I have to explain myself to a stranger, I do not know. I'm getting the feeling he is a tiny bit thick.

He mentioned that he would like to go over to WhatsApp the other night. Thank god I didn't give him my number yet! ❤️

Ask him some other questions, turn it back on him.

@VanGoghsDog that's a good idea. I'm getting a bit peeved with him at the moment.

I mean, we started having this nice discussion about books.

Now it's 'what are you doing at the weekend?' What are you doing now?' Etc etc.

I've unmatched him. He said that he was sorry for being intrusive, but I get the feeling he'd just be the same way every day.

I've sent him a message saying I don't think we'll be a good match, and wished him luck.

Thank you so much anyway, @VanGogh ❤️😘

Best to unmatch, if they get on your nerves this early on......

Also "what are you doing now" is a red flag pre cursor to "come over and hang".

@VanGoghsDog

Best to unmatch, if they get on your nerves this early on......

Also "what are you doing now" is a red flag pre cursor to "come over and hang".

@VanGoghsDog 👍🏻

Not much to report, Mr Cricket is being his usual nice, charming self He apologised for not replying to my message yesterday (not that I was worried as I knew he would, think he might be one of the good ones). I think he is subtly flirting with me and I'm trying hard not to completely friend zone him because I rather fancy him.🙈

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

I've unmatched him. He said that he was sorry for being intrusive, but I get the feeling he'd just be the same way every day.

I've sent him a message saying I don't think we'll be a good match, and wished him luck.

Thank you so much anyway, @VanGogh ❤️😘

I think unmatching was a good call, I would have done the same!

My swiping session has resulted in 4 matches, 2 are very early days, one I get a little weird vibe from - mid conversation about our kids he drops into the conversation "I'd bet you'd be nice to cuddle", which seemed inappropriate in the context of what we were talking about. I think I'm going to unmatch with him. The other one seems very nice, very chatty and respectful, he does seem quite sporty and I'm not at all so not sure if he's looking for someone more active. I might have to give him a name soon.

The sporty guy sounds nice, @Dirtyduck 👍🏻❤️