Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Placemarking again too!
@Dancerinthemoonlight enjoy Wimbledon, it sounds great! My single male friend is also having a tough time of it on the apps at the moment.
@frankiefirstyear echo pp suggestions, Lovehoney blogs are good for inspiration and I subscribe to the newsletter, which includes Position of the Week, but you can see them all on the website.
I like that they suggest appropriate toys too and how to use them (I know it's a sales thing, but sometimes it offers up an idea I wouldn't have thought of!).
If you're wondering if he's on the sub side, while you're apart you could both do the BDSM test (I think it's on fetlife) to get an idea of what you're both into. Good luck! This is the fun bit

@Dancerinthemoonlight I'm so jealous you're going to Wimbledon, you will have an amazing time. I enter the ballot every year and have only been once but its such an experience. Mr Cricket is also a tennis fan and does the ballot every year(he even joined a tennis club to help his chances of getting tickets🤣), the more I speak to him the more I find out we have so many common interests (the same Scorpio traits could be dangerous though, he is 9 days younger than me lol).

Ok so understanding now why I couldn't find anything online... couldn't even find love honey so thought they must've gone out of business (unbelievable in this world!) my internet had a shield on so wouldn't allow explicit content 🤣🤦‍♀️ might actually get somewhere now!

@frankiefirstyear

Ok so understanding now why I couldn't find anything online... couldn't even find love honey so thought they must've gone out of business (unbelievable in this world!) my internet had a shield on so wouldn't allow explicit content 🤣🤦‍♀️ might actually get somewhere now!

Lol!!!

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I'm not having any luck on the apps at the moment. Any potential I like the look of is miles away and they are few and far between. I am keeping my standards and boundaries high. I am off to Wimbledon next week on my own so that's something to look forward to. I have decided that this summer it will be about putting myself first and doing things I want to do instead of waiting around to have someone to do them with. It all started next week with going to Wimbledon and probably dinner out that evening. Planning to take a break from the apps in September

That sounds like an amazing week or two lined up!

I agree, being happy being single is the key. Whenever I get too restless feeling alone I just remember my Mum's desperation to get a bloke which meant she compromised and has had to completely deny the person she is - at 77!!

I quite miss my alone time and try to make sure I still have some even though I'm very happy with MrBear 🐻

[quote Isitreallyme77]@VanGoghsDog thank you. The money thing annoys me ( I wasnt happy lending it to him in the first place and he knows it) but now if I ask for it he throws the jealous comment in my face. I also think he told me to boast that he had spent the night with her as that is what he kept repeating. I never told him all the gory details of what happened with Computer Geek, I don't need the ins and outs of his sex life either. 🤷‍♀️

Oh well I suppose you live and learn.[/quote]
I wouldn't pay too much attention to your ex's updates, if you can. He sounds like he's using it a bit to throw you off and confuse you about his feelings.

Agree a deadline or payment schedule for the money; as a friend he shouldn't have a problem with paying it back. It's not fair of him to blackmail / manipulate you about it.

Time for some Instagram inspo 😁

@Isitreallyme77 I went in 2019 and queued for a ground pass but as they had a general sale this year due to the uncertainty of covid I somehow got lucky enough to get a centre court ticket.
I have had a rough few weeks so I'm excited about finally doing things for me

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@Isitreallyme77 I went in 2019 and queued for a ground pass but as they had a general sale this year due to the uncertainty of covid I somehow got lucky enough to get a centre court ticket.
I have had a rough few weeks so I'm excited about finally doing things for me[/quote]
Sorry to hear that things have been rough, hopefully this will help turn things around

@BelladiMamma

Time for some Instagram inspo 😁

Most of them fall at the first hurdle on that list, frankly! And certainly the second.

@Dancerinthemoonlight i've definitely felt the same as you but never had the courage to go/do things by myself so found my life shrinking massively. I'm finding it a lot easier now to be the 'single' one at events and even weddings which was always pretty heavy. Or hearing friends plan holidays/weekend trips away together and asking me what my plans are. Usually spent with my son and my parents! This used to get me down a lot. I'm the only one in my family thats still single and been so for a long time. All my cousins are around my age or a bit younger and I have like 12 or more have been in LTRs for as long as i can remember. One of my best friends was always saying to me you have to be content with yourself before you can bring someone into your bubble and even though it really got on my nerves i see it as being very true and very good advice. This MrElf that i met is short and came in flipflops for date 0 but we hit it off and even though usually this combination would be a no/go i'm glad i didn't write him off. Can you try go for men you normally wouldn't see what this brings? I hope you do have a good time in Wimbledon when you go. Clear your head and realise that actually having alone time is so precious as it can change so fast.
@Isitreallyme77 you do seem to be still very involved with your ex. I don't mean feelings-wise but he seems to lean on you for a lot. Is it possible to have a clean break from him or is this not what you want. Everyone's responsible for their own decisions and if he is rushing into this headfirst with rose-tinted glasses on surely the outcome if it comes crashing down shouldn't be anything to do with you? perhaps i'm being a bit harsh as i don't know the history of you two.
@RamonaLark i've been contemplating trying this with MrElf... as i'm working from home and would have the mornings to myself. Had a fair few dates with him now and definitely keen to get closer to him. Was it like obvious this is why he was coming over or had you really just planned coffee?

@BelladiMamma thank you, I feel its kind of manipulative what he is doing, I dare say anything about the money he'll say I'm jealous. The agreement was he was supposed to start paying me back this week ( he moved it to July last night) so I had it back in time to sort my heating out before autumn. The thing was he knew it was for carpet originally (then my hot water/heating system packed in) and it was compensation after the car accident I was in last year. So he knows I had plans for it.

@Dancerinthemoonlight I should have tried for this year then, I assumed last years tickets were getting moved to this year.

@Naimee87 not harsh, it's confusing and complicated to an outsider. Maybe I don't help but he always comes to me for things but I also feel guilty as I feel like I'm okay but he is there struggling. We both had the same opportunities and money when we split. I used my money to buy my flat he spent his being flash with the cash and has struggled ever since.

Glad to hear there’s been a few nice dates happening 😊

@Dancerinthemoonlight well done I really admire that, it takes courage to go alone to a big event like that and I bet it’s giving you a huge boost 💗

@isitreallyme77 they originally planned to do that but because it was so uncertain if they were going to be allowed any spectators or if it would have to be played behind closed doors the 2020 tickets have been moved to 2022.

@shayelle2009 after a rubbish few weeks of a supposed friend giving me a 2 and a half lecture on everything wrong with my life and my low contact dad getting in touch and using mind games/emotional blackmail to try and see me it's the 1 thing I'm really looking forward to. I get to do it for me and no one can take it away from me or spoil it.

@Dancerinthemoonlight I wish I had known, I would have got tickets. Enjoy your day!!!!

Based on rules 7 and 13 I had a proper conversation about feelings and value. Resulting in Mr HT and I being back on.

I take full responsibility for my stupid actions and if he is a cunt again it's my own fault. However, the conversation took us a step forward and we seem good and I'm happy.

I saw this and thought it was very apt for us in this thread.

I just said to a friend, I'm enjoying getting to know Mr Cricket. It may not be more than friendship at the moment but it makes me happy and isn't messing with my head as I know where I stand.

The positive me can stay a bit longer I think.

Date number 2 with Mr Geek Chic tonight. I’m going over his way tonight as he came to me last time.
Will update when I can 😊

@Naimee87 I had thought about it as a possibility but not planned it. He did joke that he suspected that is why I invited him over (it was an appropriate joke in context). I’d recommend it if you’d like to, haha. I was in a good mood for the rest of the day!

We won’t see each other for a couple of weeks now because we are both away at different times so I was happy to see if there was any chemistry before drawing it out.

I am thinking of sending my iron a text along the lines of this:

“I really should have spoken to you about this before we slept together, haha.

Just wanted to see what your outlook is and if we are similar. I tend to only sleep with people if it’s exclusive (too much time learning about sexual health 🤣). If you’re not similar or wanting something different please let me know so I can make an informed choice.”

Bad idea?

He and I are both medical so the language is less weird to us, haha.

@RamonaLark

I am thinking of sending my iron a text along the lines of this:

“I really should have spoken to you about this before we slept together, haha.

Just wanted to see what your outlook is and if we are similar. I tend to only sleep with people if it’s exclusive (too much time learning about sexual health 🤣). If you’re not similar or wanting something different please let me know so I can make an informed choice.”

Bad idea?

Good idea 💡

@Isitreallyme77

I saw this and thought it was very apt for us in this thread.

I just said to a friend, I'm enjoying getting to know Mr Cricket. It may not be more than friendship at the moment but it makes me happy and isn't messing with my head as I know where I stand.

The positive me can stay a bit longer I think.

@Isitreallyme77 I love this ❤️

Hi everyone,

Well, it's happened again. I'm chatting to this guy, he seems okay. The chat itself it's going okay too.

Then he says 'so what do you say about movie night at my place? So I could cuddle you and make you comfy with me.'

Ugh! 🤢🤮

Why do these men do things like this? I find it really sad and pathetic. There's just no need for it at all.

I feel like replying 'no, I don't fucking want to come to your house. I don't know you, and I'll bet a movie is not what you've got on your agenda if I do agree to come. If you're horny, ring a sex line or get a call girl to come round!.'

What a waste of time.

I've unmatched and reported him to Hinge.