[quote VanGoghsDog]@BelladiMamma
MrWG didn't talk about the ED issue, I suspect he is frustrated by it. he has alluded to it pre the bedroom antics so I wasn't at all surprised.
He mentioned the viagra.
He has some medical training so he's pretty pragmatic about most medical things but obviously this is something quite tricky. It's obviously not a physical issue if he can get an erection and complete from BJ etc, it's clearly a mental issue, he did mention some 'mental blocks'. His ex wife did a real number on him and I do wonder if it's connected to that. Plus he has this kink, though I'm not sure even if that was fulfilled if he'd have an erection for PIV sex.
We do need to talk about it more, my view is that he should get some counselling but, while he'd probably be theoretically open to that, I suspect he would not find the time, would not prioritise it. He's so busy I do wonder if he fills up his life to hide from 'problems'. As well as his ex wife's behaviour I can feel there is something in his past, with his family dynamic, that is in his head, I can't quite tell what and it's not really my business - I don't want to tell him about my abusive father so there's no reason he should tell me about his past. I want to keep things 'light' for now.
But it's not up to me to solve his problem.
My last bf had ED issues and he was aggressive about it, constantly referring to it which in some ways was worse than just accepting it - he'd say "how's my erection" and pull at himself, which I dunno, I just felt was a bit much. One time he was mowing my lawn and I asked if he'd like a beer and he snapped at me "No! I need to maximise erection opportunities" quite loudly, anyone could have heard him, it was mortifying!
So there's 'talking about it' and 'talking about it'![/quote]
It's early days isn't it. So figuring out how he's going to deal with it and if it bothers either of you will come out in the wash. You seem to have a healthy approach to all your irons and it'll be interesting to see if WG will respond in kind. It's all about mindset isn't it, and from your description he sounds like he's a pragmatist about most things.
As for your ex and the erection outburst in the garden ... couldn't help finding that amusing 😃 ...
My ex was a workaholic, a true pathological case and somehow I felt like you, that the compulsion to be always busy and always 'on' was to hide something or keep something at bay. In the end I found that tiring and unsatisfying in a relationship. Plus it was a sh1t relationship with flashes of brilliance which kept me hooked. Am definitely trying to deal with my issues now, as I think as I was happy to be kept at a distance - sexually and in many other ways. Now, not so much. I need healthy communication!
Sorry that turned into a 'me' post. I find it really hard to be objective with sharing thoughts if it's something I've lived through as well.