Dating Thread 206 - picking up tradesmen aswell as dates

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

This sounds a bit calculated (best laid plans and all that)

but if I was having a desire for casual sex, given that overall men seem to want it more than women, I’d prefer to schedule it in a hotel with some guy I’ve really picked based on physical attraction, rather than have an “ok looking thirty something dude trying to invite himself to mine at the last minute by stealth”

Having a quick catch with you all

@Naimee87 @GaraMedouar love the sound of your dates
@VanGoghsDog good luck with MrWG & pleased that your plumbing issues are (nearly?) sorted

@SpringlikeBunk I think everyone else has said it but - no. Block, delete, run for the hills. I had one like this last year, ex male model friend of friend found me on Instagram mad as a box of frogs looked fine on paper, fast forward 3 months he's stalking me and assaults me and is under arrest for harassment, stalking, malicious communications ... you name it. If only I'd listened to my gut & come on here to talk to you wonderful wise people about red flags, boundaries ...

@bangheadhere40 being blocked and dropped after being an emotional crutch is really awful. Makes you feel so empty. Really sorry that happened to you. Just be good to yourself and try to forget about him. He's not worth it 💜💜💜

[quote Shayelle2009]@bangheadhere40 how are you feeling today? Don’t worry, I have zero matches on either tinder or bumble, and it’s run out of men on bumble anyway. All Tinder is showing me is either men who look like large mutated rodents, or potatoes with too many eyes and sprouts.[/quote]
🤣🤣🤣

@bangheadhere40

No, I don't like forward guys either....I just want a nice normal man who isn't a stalker, ghoster, shacked up with his ex or a rodent/ potato. I don't think I'm asking for the earth here. 🙂

Still 🤣🤣🤣

@SpringlikeBunk

This sounds a bit calculated (best laid plans and all that)

but if I was having a desire for casual sex, given that overall men seem to want it more than women, I’d prefer to schedule it in a hotel with some guy I’ve really picked based on physical attraction, rather than have an “ok looking thirty something dude trying to invite himself to mine at the last minute by stealth”

You are so sorted I'm sure you could totally make it work. It's the boundaries isn't it and not falling for them

Hi everyone,

Well, Mr. Irish has asked me out this weekend. Unfortunately, I've already got plans with my family so I had to say no, (he only asked me today) but I've said that I would love to go out with him another time, so progress is being made ❤️ watch this space! Xx

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend! 😊

I'm going to my nan's house as she is going away for a week, so I won't see her for a while ❤️

Love and laughter to everyone else including @Shayelle2009 @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards @Isitreallyme77 @Onesmallstep67 @FluffyFluffMonster @Eesha (has your job started yet?)
& all the other fabulous wise women on here who've helped me enormously with making sense of what happened to me over the last year with the message only relationships, the weirdos pushing boundaries, the lazy 'I'm such a great catch' blokes plus the women that I wanted to meet never wanting to commit to a meet up.

My update, using my best Bridget Jones voice, is that MrBear and I have been on a mini break to the seaside. I was supposed to be travelling to France to see my Dad who's been in hospital but the constant changes to travel restrictions meant that I have postponed the trip til July. We went away with my two dogs, met some friends of mine and also had a couple of lovely romantic days at the beach 🏖

What can I say, I'm totally besotted not in love it's not allowed at my age although words may have been exchanged. But genuinely the lovely last minute trip to the seaside, lots of laughs and light hearted fun is exactly what this jaded old bird needed. I feel quite renewed.

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Hi everyone,

Well, Mr. Irish has asked me out this weekend. Unfortunately, I've already got plans with my family so I had to say no, (he only asked me today) but I've said that I would love to go out with him another time, so progress is being made ❤️ watch this space! Xx

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend! 😊

That's good. As others have said, it's a date zero not a date date 😊😎

Thank you belladi and all you lovely others. Yes.. I was an emotional airbag for about 18 months then dropped...aaah it hurts ☹

@BelladiMamma

Love and laughter to everyone else including *@Shayelle2009* *@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* *@Isitreallyme77* *@Onesmallstep67* *@FluffyFluffMonster* *@Eesha* (has your job started yet?) & all the other fabulous wise women on here who've helped me enormously with making sense of what happened to me over the last year with the message only relationships, the weirdos pushing boundaries, the lazy 'I'm such a great catch' blokes plus the women that I wanted to meet never wanting to commit to a meet up.

My update, using my best Bridget Jones voice, is that MrBear and I have been on a mini break to the seaside. I was supposed to be travelling to France to see my Dad who's been in hospital but the constant changes to travel restrictions meant that I have postponed the trip til July. We went away with my two dogs, met some friends of mine and also had a couple of lovely romantic days at the beach 🏖

What can I say, I'm totally besotted not in love it's not allowed at my age although words may have been exchanged. But genuinely the lovely last minute trip to the seaside, lots of laughs and light hearted fun is exactly what this jaded old bird needed. I feel quite renewed.

@BelladiMamma ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@BelladiMamma 👍🏻😊

@bangheadhere40

Thank you belladi and all you lovely others. Yes.. I was an emotional airbag for about 18 months then dropped...aaah it hurts ☹

It hurts but just think of all the energy and time you've saved by not being hooked anyMore

@BelladiMamma
Feeling “renewed” = exactly where we need to be with dating 👌😊👍🏽

And yes thanks 🙏😘 I think psycho boy is gone so I’ll probably not block unless he messages again?

It’s all a learning curve so I guess next time I’ll remembered use a bit of critical thinking - “if it’s too good to be true it probably is”

Should have been asking - why is someone who is a very very good catch on paper driving 1.5 hours for a date with someone in the next city?

When his city is full of cute hipster international women? Unless he’s got a very bad local reputation or there’s something to hide there.

On the plus side I’m feeling a bit more resilient/confident with dating (this thread is a lifesaver) so not going to delete apps in a fit of pique any more!

I love this thread all of you...thank you. Makes you realise you aren't alone in this crazy world just trying to do your best. X

Hi @VanGoghsDog. Thanks for your reply. How do you handle these early months when you know your potential interests are still online?

So folks can I throw it out there to the group, how do you handle knowing your potential iron may be into you but still online. I am hearing and seeing all the right things even though it's only been a few months but dont need the hurt of being cheated on so how do you deal with this? I prefer to keep it light and fun at this stage.

@LuckyLinda3

Hi *@VanGoghsDog*. Thanks for your reply. How do you handle these early months when you know your potential interests are still online?

Talk to them?

If you don't trust them, don't date them. If you're dating and you've agreed to come off the apps then trust them until or unless you have a reason not to. I certainly would not be checking up on them.

But you're not "keeping it light and fun" if you're checking up on them - you're creating angst for yourself.

Even if they don't know you have, it's there in the back of your head and blocking you from being light and fun. So either it's light and fun, no checking, just going with it.
Or it's not light and fun and you need to know so you talk to them about where you're at and what you need.

Much appreciated @VanGoghsDog.

@VanGoghsDog did you see Mr WG yesterday?? How did it go??

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards waahoooo!! A date zero for you - you go girl 🥳🥳

@BelladiMamma.. I was due to fly over to my Dad in august, not seen him for nearly 5 years and due to this joke of a PCR test conundrum I’ve postponed til December. So sad but these tests are ridiculous coming to nearly £350.

@bangheadhere40 I feel the same I find this thread and the lovely people on it such a great comfort.. and source of giggles 😆😆

@LuckyLinda3 my 3 month wonder said he wanted me to be his g/f but I saw he was still active on match and on hinge so I dumped him, he knew it wasn’t cool for me him doing that but he did it anyway so it was bye from me…. Sorry that is absolutely no help to you 😞
I genuinely think some men are just addicted to being on the apps in general??

So happy for you and Bear @BelladiMamma!
@SpringlikeBunk your boundaries are impressive, you'd be fine on fab if you fancied casual. I met a couple of fwbs on there, but started to get feelings for one of them and realised I wanted a proper relationship.
Excellent news re date zero @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards looking forward to the update!
Also wondering how you got on with WG @VanGoghsDog..

@Shayelle2009 no I appreciate your feedback. I do think you are right theres an ego fluff of sorts in the attention for some. I admire your strength. I'm not giving up on this yet though as he gives me loads of attention and has rang twice since he left yesterday so I think we have something going. So I'm taking @VanGoghsDog advice and trusting until I have a reason not to.

Date with MrManager is on for tomorrow .

We are meeting in a town halfway between us for a morning walk and a coffee, he mentioned maybe we could go for lunch after, but I've been non-committal as I want to see how things go first. Luckily the place where we are meeting has lots of lovely places to go and I'm looking forward to a nice morning walk if nothing else!

I must admit out of all my previous irons, this one seems to do just the right amount of texting, a little bit of gentle flirting but very respectful and seems interested in me and my life.