Hi
I'm just looking for opinions on the following, if you think I'm being uptight and over reacting please just say so.
I've been with my current partner for 7 months, he is 47 I'm 51. It's been a complete whirlwind romace, he is a wonderful man, kind, caring, loving, generous in every way, he looks after me very well and is 99% the man of my dreams.....
But there's that 1% that's just bugging me, you see he has this habit every now and again of saying things that I find insulting and disrespecful. Let me first say that this is a man who jokes around a lot and likes to 'banter' with me (and others) he gets away with a lot of the things he says to me by saying them in a 'jokey' manner.
It started with him telling me that when he hit puberty he used to w*nk (his word not mine) over the underwear pages in his Mother's mail order catalogue.. making comments about the pages sticking together etc.. I've had similar, button pushing, behaviour from a partner in the past so chose not to react to this silliness as I know complaining about it can lead to me being made to feel like I'm reacting in an insecure, jealous way about something that was way in the past.
He has made a few similar immature comments over the months and then today, we were talking about a girl I knew at school who had a relationship with a teacher, I was saying how inappropriate it was and that I didn't realise how bad it was at the time because I was only a kid myself. I thought we were having a serious conversation then he came out with 'I was always w*nking over one teacher or another when I was at school...
It made me feel a bit sick inside, I just don't see a productive reason for making this kind of comment. I often think men say these things to get a reaction from women, what do you think? Am I over reacting? Is this kind of talk acceptable in a relationship? Should I start telling him stories about who I w*nked over when I was a teenager?
Just as a foot note, another little thing that irritates me is that he knows I'm very sensitive about my (menopausal) thinning hair, but he constantly comments on other women's hair. In the street, on the tv, his daughter's friends.. constantly saying how gorgeous other women't hair is. I know I sound super sensitive, maybe I am, but I can't help wondering if he's doing it on purpose to make me feel even worse about my own thinning locks.
As I said at the start of my post, this man has been amazing in so many other ways, I don't want to break up or anything, I just would like your advice on how to deal with his crude talk and your opinions on why he behaves in this way..
TIA :-)