Has anyone never been hugged by their mother?

[cucumberella]

If so, what is your relationship like with her? I've never ever been hugged by my Mom as far as I'm aware, and I get that not everyone is a hugger or affectionate, but just on a whole she really is so cold and unloving and I'm jealous of those amazing mother daughter relationships I at least believe are out there.

I hug my kids and grandkids but I don’t hug anyone else. I’m quite uncomfortable hugging anyone else.

I've never really had proper hugs from my Mum. My Grandma who I lived with from about 4 till secondary school was more tactile

My Mum will occasionally want to hug me goodbye but I cringe everytime as it doesn't feel right

No never. She's never told me she loves me either but I know she does. We are very close though. It used to bother me but now I'm older I understand that she comes from a background where people just weren't demonstrative or tactile at all. In complete contrast I am VERY tactile with my DD and tell her I love her 1000 times a day.

Never here. Never been told I am loved.

Unconsciously I am always touching my children, telling them that I love them, propping them up and making them feel safe and secure. Obviously I felt I needed that even as a child who didn’t know what they were missing.
IMO very few things beat the little pudgy fingers of a toddler’s hand in mine!

Never ever hugged or touched by either parent. Just one of the reasons I am waiting for therapy.

That's really sad. I hugged DM a lot she was affectionate.
I have never hugged my Dad it's very odd and obvious.
During DM's funeral in the middle of covid none of us hugged it probably would have been the only time we did.
My Dad's DM was a very cold woman.

Very rarely hugged.
When I was it was for her benefit. She rarely told me she loved me, only once or twice really until I had my DD and then a few times since (DD is 10).

She's cold. And has narcissistic tendencies. Affection isn't there from her. But she expects us to be close and is angry with me that I can't be.

It's not great.

With my children, I tell them ALL THE TIME that I love them and hug them a lot. It's important to me that they know unconditional love and affection from a parent.

Very close to my mum, but I can't remember ever hugging her.

No hugging at all that I can remember. Lots of hitting and smacking though.

My mother died years ago and I was and still am angry with her.

I have tried to deal with this by understanding that she had a traumatising and dysfunctional childhood and was almost certainly mentally ill. She was not a happy woman and was not a good mother in many ways.

I am a very huggy person but only with people I really care about, I'm not a random hugger.

Yeah we're not a hugging family. Also not a 'love you' family.

I’m a very verbally affectionate person but I do not hug. I just find it very claustrophobic and have other ways of expressing my emotions. I would absolutely hug my kids though.

My dm absolutely adored me, but wasn't physical, she didn't even like me linking arms with her!

My parents never hugged me, never told me they loved me. They never said anything nice to me really. It affected me massively. My partners parents were similar, they started hugging him when he’d moved out.

We hug our children and tell them we love them every day. My son is nearly 18 and still gives me a hug and says I love you mum when he leaves the house. I never want my children to feel rejected like I did.

Im so pleased to read this, my parents never hugged me. I cant remember ever sitting on either parents knee either. They were I think of the generation that didnt do showing emotion, my grandparents were the same. Im not a hugger either

wanted to edit, I dont mean Im pleased other people didnt get hugged in that way, just that I thought I was the only one !

No never, also I can’t stand the woman.

I can't remember being hugged by my mother. I once tried to hug her and she sort of shrugged me off awkwardly.

I have seen her or spoken to her in 8 years, so that should tell you all you need to know about our relationship!

I can't get enough of hugging my children, but I find it difficult to be physically affectionate with other adults. Even my husband.

Nope never. I remember being pushed away as a kid when I tried. My brother wasn't.

*havent

No. My mum can't even say "I love you" to me. I'd be ok to say it to her but why should I? She's the parent.

I couldn't get enough cuddles from my kids, that gorgeous soft skin and their lovely scent. Don't understand why my mum was so hands off but people are weird.

My mum used to visibly look uncomfortable when my kids told me they loved me.

She even struggled to say happy birthday to me, or well done when I passed exams. She could do it for strangers though which I always found very unsettling.

We're just moving this to Relationships.

Never. My mum was a manic depressive and was very unhappy a lot of the time. I preferred to be ignored than shouted at. She’s now got dementia and in a home so we’ve never had a maternal/daughter relationship.

When I met DH I felt uncomfortable around his family - they are very close and affectionate. They welcomed me and my mother in law is my mum. I’m still not the most expressive in my love but DH and his family know this and they see my care through other ways. I’m also the same with my own DC but I tell them I love them everyday and again I show my care my sitting with them until they fall asleep, writing notes for their lunchboxes etc.

Never but she was never shown affection as a child herself so I understand how difficult it must be for her and don't really hold it against her

No I was never shown affection, I tried to hug her once, it was like trying to hug a brittle bunch of twigs, horrible.