Has anyone never been hugged by their mother?

[cucumberella]

If so, what is your relationship like with her? I've never ever been hugged by my Mom as far as I'm aware, and I get that not everyone is a hugger or affectionate, but just on a whole she really is so cold and unloving and I'm jealous of those amazing mother daughter relationships I at least believe are out there.

I have but I resisted and never reciprocated. I'm not tactile. I don't do hugs and I don't like being touched. That's why I didn't get all the fuss over being 'allowed' to hug again a few weeks ago. I thought it was silly nonsense.

My mum is an alcoholic and has never hugged me. She used to brush me off. I hug my 3 year old all the time and that will never stop. It's horrible being told no. My mum would let men spend time with me for free booze. Even then, I never got a hug.

I don't hug my mum, but we are extremely close.

I know she loves me, but we don't show it physically. My husband hugs his parents, but they can't talk about anything important and the relationship is badly broken . Of course it isn't one or the other, but hugging or lack of, means very little about the quality of the relationship.

My mother never hugged me; never said she loved me. It left me feeling unlovable for a very long time. We got on OK most of the time but would clash a fair bit, over our similarities oddly.
I make sure to hug my niece and step-kids. I'd never want to make anyone feel the way I did. It was cruel.

Mine hugged me after my wedding. Almost 39 years ago now!

No hugs in our family either, or any expression of love, happiness or affection. I hold my DS very close and tell him I love him every day.

Very very close. Spend a lot of time together. Very Very rarely hug.

My mum and dad never said I love you. It was that generation.
Mum was dyingin hospital in Feb 2019 and when I saw her for the last time before leaving I said 'I love you mum' and she replied 'I love you too darling'.
I'll never forget that.

I can’t remember being hugged. Might have been as a baby but definitely not as a child. I don’t have any relationship with my mother.

I hug my kids all of the time. Even Ds who towers over me and is an adult teen

Think about how your mum was brought up. Was she hugged? Mine wasn't, and so she doesn't hug me. But times change, I hug my DC and occasionally give my mum a squeeze.

It's easy to judge parents, but they had sometimes difficult upbringings too...

My mum is my best friend. We've never hugged.

Weirdly my mother will now hug me but I haven’t got 1 memory of being cuddled or even sitting on my mums knee when I was a child. I am very uncomfortable with hugging generally and it takes all my self control not to shove my mother off me.

What my mum and I lacked in physical affection, we more than made up for with emotional affection (if that makes sense). We weren’t a touchy family. She was the person I loved most (as much as my DD but differently). I loved her more than I love DH (who I utterly adore).

My mum doesn't hug me or tell me she loves me she is never cold to me though it's just her way but I feel very loved and we have a fab relationship.

@Raffles1981

My mum is an alcoholic and has never hugged me. She used to brush me off. I hug my 3 year old all the time and that will never stop. It's horrible being told no. My mum would let men spend time with me for free booze. Even then, I never got a hug.

That is so sad. I had little affection but I was not abused. I am sorry. It’s lovely that you have a fab relationship with your little one x

My mother was very cold and self centred, so none of us were hugged. Makes me sad when I see other families.

Mine never did, there wasn’t any affection or love in our family, I haven’t seen her since I was 17 and I have seen my dad maybe three times since in the last 15 years. They shouldn’t have had children.

I’m very tactile and actively crave touch from the people I love, and I can sometimes feel very rejected when I’m denied a hug, handhold etc, what a surprise!

My son can have as many or few hugs, kisses and cuddles as he likes, I also tell him I love him and show him that I love him by keeping him safe and making sure his needs are met.

Mines never hugged me and our relationship is fine. She wasn't affectionate with us growing up but we speak few times a week and I see her once a week with DS. She's quite cuddly with him though weirdly enough! I feel like I over compensate with it with my DS as I don't want him to feel like he didn't receive affection from me and I cuddle him all the time - he loves it! So I think it has had an underlying affect somewhere but I'm ok with it.

Never. It's unnatural, weird and creepy, apparently.

The only person who would give me a hug was my grandfather. Never did it to my mother though - I think she'd trained both her parents to not touch her but he ignored her preference for me not to be hugged either. She never did understand why my GM would take me off into her bedroom so I could play with her makeup, hats and expensive trinkets and have my hairbrushed without me screaming and yelling (every morning was an ordeal of angry hair tearing, slaps and ripping rubber bands out from the day before).

Hitting me, though - now that was perfectly normal physical contact. And telling my eldest aged 6 when she asked 'Do you love Mummy?' because she'd noticed there was never any affection 'Of course not'.

There is no relationship. And quite frankly, she prefers it that way.

My dm wasn't a great hugger as that's the way she was brought up. Then when we grew to be older teens and left home we started hugging her when we came home. As she got older and we were caring for her we were forever hugging and kissing her as we would all be quite affectionate that way. It's like the roles became reversed and that was really nice to be able to do as she never had that. My dad was more tactile and his sisters would always hug us tight when they saw us as children.
I keep the hugging going with my dc and now gc. Different generations but not necessarily less love.

My DM never hugged me. I tried once to hug her goodbye and she froze. The most miserable, emotionally absent being on the planet unless you were her latest affair

@SimonJT

Mine never did, there wasn’t any affection or love in our family, I haven’t seen her since I was 17 and I have seen my dad maybe three times since in the last 15 years. They shouldn’t have had children.

I’m very tactile and actively crave touch from the people I love, and I can sometimes feel very rejected when I’m denied a hug, handhold etc, what a surprise!

My son can have as many or few hugs, kisses and cuddles as he likes, I also tell him I love him and show him that I love him by keeping him safe and making sure his needs are met.

Oh, that craving - it's so strong, it's almost painful.

It's hardly surprising the ridiculous relationships I got into because the other person at least wanted to touch me.

I have the opposite problem - i don’t get on with my mother but she would happily throw herself at me to hug me. She thinks we should be best friends but she is a very difficult person - i think she has borderline personality disorder - and is also a functioning alcoholic. I have to keep my distance - the thought of hugging her seems very strange!

I also find it strange hearing about people desperate to hug their parents - as it is the last thing I would do!

@domoresteps
Definitely not a generational thing, always hugged my Mum, My aunts, my grandparents etc.... My sons always give big hugs too. I am in my 50's too.
I dont think it reflects on how much you love each other if you don't though.

Love my mother but the thought of hugging her makes me want to vomit. She is huggy but to be fair I must have always rejected hugs as have no memory of her hugging me. Uggh