Would you ever marry again?

[notoriousramblings]

Having been married for twelve years and lived through a coercive , emotionally vacant relationship , sexually coercive and lonely life ?
My current partner of a year , divorced five years ago, would. He sees it romantically as the obvious ultimate act of love and partnership and also a financially sensible
Decision .
I'm not so sure . Romantically I could see myself growing old with him . Financially I'm more independent . He has lost his home to his ex wife through bankruptcy despite trying everything to avoid it but is a high earner ( now) and good with money. My inheritance will be given to my children before I die in the form of a hefty deposit for their first home and also their education . I want to protect them and me financially . Amy thought? Hardly romantic but I've been fucked over enough to know the realities in the ground . Love him but not enough to put my children in a position to lose
Out financially .

Nope. Never again.

Can I ask why?

Nope. Won't risk losing my house again

Keep unmarried and protect all your finances for you and your children. Marriage is only good to protect the ladies who decide to have children and not continue in the workforce where they can left financially vulnerable. Marriage can give women rights to their husbands finances should it dissolve. Thankfully I see you dont wear those rose tinted glasses that marriage is the romantic be all and end all of relationships. You are thinking sensibly. Stay thinking that way!

After my 1st marriage ended I said I'd never marry again.
Having met someone else I told him the same, and said no several times when he asked me to marry him. Then one day I just wanted to me married, so I asked him and we did.
He died and I don't think I'd marry again, but who knows.

Never live with a man again. Wish I hadn't been sucked into the idea of romantic love. It's a con to keep women down.

No I wouldn't marry again. Too much to lose if it all goes tits up.

be me married - specifically to him.

Not in your shoes.

I'd only marry again if there was a financial advantage to myself, to be bluntly honest. Not if I was likely to lose out if someone turned out to be another twat. I would not do it for 'romantic' reasons now.

It doesn't sound as though it would be financially beneficial to you at present, so I wouldn't. And a year isn't long.

I would never marry again, and that’s mainly for financial reasons.

I can totally see why he thinks marrying you is a financially sensible decision for him, given that he’s been bankrupt and lost a home and you’re doing well enough to be planning hefty deposits for houses for your children, in your position marrying him would be a big fat NO from me.

Nope. I own my house outright and it's security for me and children. I'm never giving that up

No, never. I don't want to risk losing my home ever again . Bern there twice already, a third time would be too much.

No definitely not in your position.
You're not evenly matched financially.
There is no way I would risk my DC's future inheritance for anyone.
And forget wills, they can so easily be changed. I've seen this happen far too many times where large sums of money/houses have been involved.

In other words so many children being done out of what should have rightfully been passed onto them.

@notoriousramblings

Can I ask why?

Too much to risk basically.

I had to fight hard to have what I do for the DC and I. Now my financial situation is better I would never risk that by entering into a marriage where my DC could suffer ultimately.

Because I don't trust men anymore. (sad but true).

I like my house, so either he would have to join me here or I would have to leave it to move to his. I like my own space.

But mostly financial to be honest.

No as much as love dh after him oh good grief no. It would be my time.

Haven't been married once yet and I personally don't think I would now at all, let alone twice haha

There's just no need to, is there? You have nothing to gain from it and everything to lose.

Married to dh number 4...
I joke on I have kept the wedding bag and shoes..

I’ve been engaged 3 times and married twice. I guess I’m a bit of a romantic and always going for the happy ending … so far so good (been with dh 14 years now). It’s not that I haven’t been shafted financially either - I’ve lost about 200k and several houses though bad relationships.

Nope. Luckily DP feels the same. I love the romantic idea of being married, but I'm in the process of ex trying to screw every last penny he can out of me (and the children)?so I'm not going there again. Happy to be independent and DP's happy with that arrangement.

God no, I own my home outright, and have a dang good pension and savings I won’t risk.

You would be mad to marry this man op.

I thought that if I sold
My house and divided the proceeds between my children as their deposit and start afresh and equal with my partner ?

In your position I definitely wouldn’t get married, you really have nothing to gain from it apart from some vague romantic feelings.

@notoriousramblings

I thought that if I sold My house and divided the proceeds between my children as their deposit and start afresh and equal with my partner ?

Why would you sell your house you own yourself for a man? I can’t see any logic in that.

Nope
I would only vaguely consider it if we were financially equal or she had more than me.

Like your partner i lost an awful lot of money in my divorce, even though it was totally fair and i have no complaints.
I was young enough to earn it back but not now and I wont take the risk again.