Would you ever marry again?

[notoriousramblings]

Having been married for twelve years and lived through a coercive , emotionally vacant relationship , sexually coercive and lonely life ?
My current partner of a year , divorced five years ago, would. He sees it romantically as the obvious ultimate act of love and partnership and also a financially sensible
Decision .
I'm not so sure . Romantically I could see myself growing old with him . Financially I'm more independent . He has lost his home to his ex wife through bankruptcy despite trying everything to avoid it but is a high earner ( now) and good with money. My inheritance will be given to my children before I die in the form of a hefty deposit for their first home and also their education . I want to protect them and me financially . Amy thought? Hardly romantic but I've been fucked over enough to know the realities in the ground . Love him but not enough to put my children in a position to lose
Out financially .

@notoriousramblings

I suppose I felt that if I gave them 80k each with the proviso that it was solely for a home , that they would enjoy their inheritance while I was alive and set them Up. Where I live, it will be short of impossible to own their own houses in the next ten- twenty years . That way I thought , I could Share a home outright with my Partner ... 50/50.. in the full knowledge that my children are sorted in the event of my death . Almost Like starting from scratch on an Equal Footing

I think that's actually quite sensible, I can see where you're coming from

No. I will never risk my children's financial security.

Marriage has no advantages for women unless you're a SAHM. It just encourages men to be lazy and expect 'wife work'.

No, never again. In fact I wouldn't even consider living with someone again let alone get married.

You have absolutely nothing to gain from marriage. Marriage actually decreases women's happiness in the majority of cases

@notoriousramblings, I have decided to give my daughter some of her 'inheritance' up front as it is so difficult for younger people these days. I have bought her first car and intend to give her a lump sum for a deposit on her first property. Much more useful to her now than 30 odd years down the line (God willing!).

No, never. I would never put myself in such a vulnerable position again. I'm secure with my own home and would never risk losing it by getting married.

I am married but if marriage ended wouldn't get married again.
I feel it's a one time thing.
I would go out on dates but wouldn't even live with someone again if marriage didn't work.

Nope never again
I’m a widower with assets. My money is for my kids, not for a woman who has done nothing to help me earn it.

If I got married again I may as well sell half of everything and put it all on red - at least then I’d have a 50/50 chance of doubling my money!

Because you have no kids in common there is really no need to be married. What's the point? Marriage is more of a financial contract than anything and you don't need to be financially tied to each other. There is no advantage.

I wouldn’t leave too much inheritance to the kids, as they might get married or go through divorce just like you, which you have no control over, when they divorce their spouse might have access to your assets too - something to think about!

That's true, @Mauhhq... Also, I was thinking that hopefully my DCs will do so well in life that any inheritance from me would be a drop in the ocean but it's good to consider if there is a childhood home for them that needs protecting. One of my DCs is fervent I shouldn't ever sell my house to blend with my partner because he says it's part of his childhood and would feel very upset and turfed out. The psychological considerations sometimes outweigh the inheritance part.

It's a bit of a catch 22 with the up front inheritance. Unfortunately a lot of people won't be able to get on the property ladder without help from the bank of mum and dad. I would expect my daughter to state on any joint deeds which part belongs to her if she isn't married . If she does marry there's not a lot you can do after around ten years of marriage ie pot becomes joint. I wouldn't give her more than the deposit to be fair.

Married for 20 years and divorced five years ago. He remarried within 3 years of our split, I can't see myself ever remarrying or living with someone. I like being in total control of my finances (ex was rubbish with money) and having my own space and being able to be on my own after work if I like. I do miss having someone around to share the decisions ie which sofa, fridge, what colour on the walls etc and to do small DIY tasks (I seem to have a mental block when it comes to drilling holes and putting things up!) and to take some of the cleaning chores off me. But not enough to want to live with someone. I've been in a relationship for 4 years now and love him dearly but we can only survive about 7 days on holiday together before we each want to retreat to our own lairs for some alone time .

Why would I marry again? I might have a boyfriend but that's it and unless he is prepared to put me up in his house it isn't happening.
I have a large property and a big pension, I'm not giving it away to some bloke, it is my son's inheritance.
I plan on signing the lot over to my son on my retirement in 8 years. I already live with him and Dil. We have separated one big house into two and legally arranged I'll be able to live there for life when I sign it over.
There is no point in marriage at my age. I'd be willing to live with someone but they would have to understand I come with nothing, everything is for my DS.