Husband put a tracking device in babies push chair

[Tilpop]

So today I had a child free day for the first time in 11 months.
I went for a hair cut then out for lunch with my best friend.

DH took LO out for the day.

Got home and he had opened a Package. He said they were devices used to find keys, bags etc. Then proceeded to show me that they "beep" when the app on your phone is activated.

Turns out these are apple air tags.

I decided to take LO for a walk in the push chair as he was getting grouchy and needed a nap. I opened the top of the chair and inside was one of these devices.

I googled it and apparently they are also tracking devices.

WTF........ I'm gutted. I asked him about it when I got home and he said he was testing it to see if it worked. But never told me it was there to start with.

There are 8 of them sat in my kitchen.

He says they are for keys etc......and you need to be near them for them to show on the app.

I doubt this as I've googled it.

What do I do. I'm so upset. Does anyone know anything about this?

I think that Tiles can track you as well as they are similar so he may have done it with one of them, they have been around for ages

They are pretty ineffective because there are not enough devices picking up the tracking, unlike the apple version, but yes, you should still be nervous of them.

Do you have access to your passport or driving licence OP?

The AirTags work well in crowded places, not so good in rural places as they need iPhones to ping off so depends where OP lives how well it works

I have the Tile trackers so I can find my phone and keys
If I lose my keys I just use the tile app on my phone and it rings it so I can find them
If I lose my phone even if it’s switched off I just press the tile on my keys and my phone will start ringing

They are extremely accurate in terms of finding what you are tracking

This is abuse . Do you have support?

Getting a bit of deja vu here

pinkyredrose
Were you going anywhere you didn't what DH to know about? If not, I can't see the issue hmm seriously? You'd be happy being spied on?
There's this thing called 'privacy', to some people it's quite important.

agreed, im astonished at some of these replies- really, so many people of you think spying on your partner is normal...

@QioiioiioQ

Getting a bit of deja vu here

Agreed! People will tell OP she's in an abusive controlling relationship and advise where she can get help. The thread stops and months after OP will start a different thread with same issues. What do you really want from these threads OP?

@Treemama I'm assuming your life is perfect !!!!!!

OP, this is genuinely extreme frightening and you obviously aren't happy. Do you have any intention of doing anything about it? Only you can change this.

[quote Tilpop]@Treemama I'm assuming your life is perfect !!!!!![/quote]
It took me over a decade to get free. Keep on keeping on OP. These fights to freedom are long, but you'll get there eventually.

Tree mama unfortunately lots of women find themselves in the same situation as the OP. If it feels like deja vu the chances are it's the same story but a different couple.

Secondly it's very difficult for people to just leave. Especially when there's been no physical violence which is when a lot of victims start to see the abuse for what it is. I won't bore you with endless detail but the reasons why people find it hard to leave are myriad - from self esteem/substance abuse through to tangible issues like "where the hell will we go"

I highly recommend the film "Leaving" to anyone who thinks "we'll just bloody leave". I have met victims of dv in my professional life who have been physically, sexually and emotionally abused for years but still cannot leave.

To suggest thr OP is a troll or doesn't deserve advice just because she may have posted about her problems before is disgusting

[quote Tilpop]@Treemama I'm assuming your life is perfect !!!!!![/quote]
She must be lucky enough to have never experienced an abusive or controlling relationship (and hopefully never dies)

@QioiioiioQ must just be on the wind up and looking for a reaction. She insinuated in a reply on another post last night that controlling relationships were worth it if the sex was good 🤦🏽‍♀️

I think it's more worrying you have cameras around the house and that you get a call asking where you're going every time you head out.

I also find it odd you don't have your own bank account, so he can see exactly what you're buying.

Literally every single thing you do is being monitored. I imagine he's reading this, so hopefully he will see that this is not normal or acceptable.

I don't know of anyone who has cameras in the home. I'd be tempted to switch them off or cover them up. It's like something out of a psychological thriller.

@Wantubackforgood

We also have cameras ,can see if teenagers have come home at time we requested and if they have any girls in ...got nothing to hide so they work for us .

wataf!

op, whats happening to you isnt right or normal- have you got people you can reach out to for support? would you consider contacting womens aid?

Sorry I meant "well just bloody leave"
Stupid autocorrect

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

This thread started out with 'did he accidently leave the tracker in the pram?' but the wider issue here is that you are living in a Big Brother house.

What happened if you said no OP? I'd be tempted to throw them all away, to destroy them but I don't think it would work with him - he would just find sneakier, smaller spycams. I wouldn't be at all surprised if you got an expert in your house they would find cameras in the bathrooms and in the bedroom. I would put a lot of money on that.

I don't think you can trust him, and worse, he seems to think he owns you and that's why you get the phone calls when you're leaving the house. It's shocking it's got this far but I'm sure he did it chip-chip-chip, little by little, disarming you with convincing conversations about how its just about safety and peace of mind, especially that you have a child.

. I'd be tempted to switch them off or cover them up

This is the last thing the OP should do. She needs to maintain the facade of the status quo as much as she can manage while she SAFELY makes an exit plan in conjunction with professionals that can help her leave.
The level of monitoring that she describes is extremely concerning and indicates to me an extremely risky situation

kissthepastrychef

Yes you're right. It does need to be dealt with properly with some support in place.

@Wantubackforgood I understand why people do this, but please trust me when I say that your peace of mind will have a detrimental effect on your teenagers. As part of growing up, they need to develop a sense of privacy, a space either external or internal that's away from Mum & Dad. Being spied on when they're at home will only give them warped, unhealthy boundaries with future partners or will give them an incentive to hide more things from you. If you breech their privacy now by watching them all the time, they will remember that when they're older.

Jeez OP this is legitimately terrifying. Reading all your updates, I’m extremely concerned for you. I suggest contacting women’s aid.

@Tilpop

I have cameras front, back, side, garden. Door cameras, living room and kitchen And babies room.

Every time I leave the house the camera notification goes off and I get a phone call. Where am I going etc
Even if just to the shop for food / nappies etc.

That there, that's not normal, that's a complete red flag (more red flags than a communist rally if I'm honest)

The riskiest times for a dv victim are when the abuser senses their control slipping. This escalates their behaviour to reinforce control. Hence if the OP's husband senses that she may no longer be wholly under his control, he may seek to reassert that by violence to her, threats, pet abuse, removing her access to all finances, etc etc. Trying to show you're taking back control from an abuser is pointless as they will just escalate. The only way to win is to walk away

[quote Tilpop]@Treemama I'm assuming your life is perfect !!!!!![/quote]
No one is

9 goes to leave for me over 20 years ago now when the police said I’d go back so what was the point helping.

Please see this for what it is abuse

Leave go to the police or woman’s aid