Do I settle?

[Unsure98]

I’m really at a cross roads. I’m 36 and need to make a decision soon about whether I settle for my current partner and have the baby I’ve always wanted with him, or move on and hope to find someone I’m more compatible with to start a family with.

I’m very stressed by the thought of moving on but not finding someone else and ending up childless. I can’t go it alone. Thoughts welcome.

Sometimes I'm amazed by what I read on here. God almighty.

Likewise coronaway

I had children with an abusive man. Thought my biological clock was running out but also couldn't leave him/thought I loved him/didn't recognise the abuse. Terrible idea.
I left him when the children were both under 3 and then immediately met someone I wished I had had children with.

The idea of trying to control or insure against the (imagined) future is nonsense. You can't make a terrible decision on the basis you might not meet someone else.

Please don't settle.

Thanks for sharing your experience longcoffeebreak and really glad things worked out for you in the end

Things would be much much worse with a baby. And if you want your child to have a happy life you can’t give it a shit dad

Considering it because lots of people split up is completely batshit.

Why wouldnt you be able to meet someone else?

Branleuse I’m worried about my age, lack of time, and decent men available etc

@ConfusedAdultFemale

how fucking dare you. Majority of women in abusive relationships terrified to escape them because of the children and you actually consider bringing a baby into a world with a man you describe as abusive. Away with you, bloody no brains.

Report

Are you living with him now?

Have reported above post. Don’t know why people are so rude when commenting on people’s situations.

On you go but my comment still stands. Absolute idiocy to consider having a baby with an abusive man, you really need to give yourself a bloody shake.

36 is not old though. Youre practically in your prime. Honestly. Going it alone with a sperm donor would be better than deliberatly saddling a child with an arsehole abusive dad

Why does a future man have to be older than you?

I agree with everyone else - if this is for real, you are off your trolley and, frankly, selfish.

Oh just piss off will you ConfusedAdultFemale Like other posters on here, I’m looking for support - not the negativity spewing from you

You know this one isn’t decent. That’s all you need to worry about right now.

You haven’t even said he wants to have a baby with you. Have you talked about it or are you planning to lie about contraception and then leave him once you’ve got the baby you’re after?

ConfusedAdultFemale nah mate, no need to be rude. If you want to help, you be positive and supportive. That’s how to do it.

Don’t settle. He deserves better

Have you talked about it or are you planning to lie about contraception and then leave him once you’ve got the baby you’re after?

Wtf

Better to end up alone and with no kids than to tie yourself to an abusive man for life... surely??

So you have discussed having a baby together?

AnneLovesGilbert Yes. I’m just not sure, and muddled, and that’s why I’ve posted here.