Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

My update is that MrBear and I are officially together and we are enjoying the early stages. Everything is all about the fun times we want to share and nothing is too heavy. I'm conscious that he's off to Paris for work next year and apart from anything else I will be teeth grindingly jealous of him 🤣 but I'm also conscious that meeting DC's etc may slightly be dictated by that. If we don't think we will last long distance then we shouldn't bother involving the kids

Work trundles on somehow. I'm amazed my client hasn't fired me as in the last month I've been in mediation and court with my utter twat of an ex. Ah, the joys of having married someone too young & too controlling. No my friends, it doesn't mean he's mad about you. It means he's controlling.

I also did something I've been mulling over for a while. I went through my phone and blocked the one or two dicks who hit on me or did lots of texting whilst I was divorcing, presumably in the hope that I was desperate enough to get involved with them. It was a feature of getting divorced in a tight knit community that I found shocking and slightly nauseating.

@Dancerinthemoonlight im a great believer in the right job or relationship won't go past you. Ive had that same feedback and it's hard not to get disheartened but sometimes its the tiniest thing that swings it. Don't beat yourself up, something much more suitable will come your way. I also have an interview this week and i feel a bit like Goldilocks with each interview, too hard, too little money, too anti parent! Am hoping the next one is juuuuuuuust right!

[quote BelladiMamma]@Dancerinthemoonlight sorry to hear that you didn't get the job but pleased to hear that things are turning around

@GaraMedouar I feel / felt so similar but MrBear has somewhat upended what I wanted as actually he's just a really nice human being that I have loads of chemistry with. However no need to 'date' him, can you friend him and then up to him if he wants to carry on with the current arrangement?

@ everyone else

Yay to boundaries!
Down with twats!

Totally gutted for you @striding that the worm turned out to be just that. So pleased that you've dusted yourself off. He doesn't deserve a moment's thought and we've all been there. Both times mine dragged on much longer than they should have done. So I'm pleased it is all over and done with [/quote]
Thank you @BelladiMamma. I just think he's a complete a hole now to be honest. It's just a waste of time thinking about him now ❤️

Hi all,

Thank you to everyone who messaged me this morning.

I'm feeling much better today. I've spent a Wonderful afternoon out with a very good friend of mine. I've not seen her since last February, so it was lovely to see her and have a Catch up.😀

I told her about what happened, and she said that The Worm sounded like a hit and Wasn't worth it. She also said it was crap of him to get my hopes up the way he did.

Thank you all for your support, as always. I really love this thread ❤️

Really happy I'm so welcome here as well. Despite not being a mum yet! 😊

@BelladiMamma

My update is that MrBear and I are officially together and we are enjoying the early stages. Everything is all about the fun times we want to share and nothing is too heavy. I'm conscious that he's off to Paris for work next year and apart from anything else I will be teeth grindingly jealous of him 🤣 but I'm also conscious that meeting DC's etc may slightly be dictated by that. If we don't think we will last long distance then we shouldn't bother involving the kids

Work trundles on somehow. I'm amazed my client hasn't fired me as in the last month I've been in mediation and court with my utter twat of an ex. Ah, the joys of having married someone too young & too controlling. No my friends, it doesn't mean he's mad about you. It means he's controlling.

That is fantastic, @Belladi. You really deserve happiness! ❤️

@Dancerinthemoonlight

It was a no from my interview last week. They gave really good feedback and I aligned with their values but ultimately there was someone with more specific experience that fitted the role.

I feel like second best again. Going to try and not let it get me too down. At least it's positive feedback and I'm doing better in interviews than I have been. It's disappointing to be so close but so far again.
Onwards with the search for both a man and a job.

Sorry to hear that, @Dancer sending you lots of love ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards

Really happy I'm so welcome here as well. Despite not being a mum yet! 😊

I'm not a mum and there's no "yet" on the end of that sentence!

I’m also not a mum!

Great to hear the happy updates on here @BelladiMamma, @Slothmomma!

@Eesha love your msg to @Dancerinthemoonlight about the right things finding their way to you... i think that too. And you feel like Goldilocks .. 😆 hope you get some luck on the job front, both you ladies!

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards the worm is yesterday’s old newspaper now! In the recycle bin, never to be looked at again.

Still meeting Mr Gwen on Thursday.. weather’s still meant to be lovely and I’ve got a bit of a tan already. Going on dates actually gives you a buzz/confidence boost doesn’t it 😊

Lovely updates 😊 and good luck to those with dates!

I'm getting nowhere fast, just kind of accepting I might be single forever, and that is fine 🤔

I come up against the same issues every time and bar moving I'm not sure what to do.

I live so far from anywhere, it's hard enough on these sites and slim pickings in normal times but being 1.5 hours from a big city is making it harder. I'm really not sure what to do.

@bangheadhere40 I live near two big cities and still only got one decent chat/match on tinder. Think it’s just a matter of luck on them!

I'm not a mum either!

I ordered myself a new dress today for my date with Mr Cricket on Friday, convinced my housemate to give me a lift there if I give her petrol money. I will message him tomorrow saying I'm happy to come his way this time (he came my way last time so it only seems fair). It all seems too good to be true, good things don't happen to me and I keep expecting it to go tits up.

@Shayelle2009 what are you doing for your date on Thursday?

That's what I mean shayelle you can live near cities and still have nothing so me being nearly 2 hrs from one isn't good ☹

Ooooh exciting @Isitreallyme77... what’s your new dress like?? Friday night date - exciting!!

I’m just meeting him for a quick morning coffee on Thurs. it’s date zero so don’t know if he’ll be any good... I am going to make the effort though, get a bit spruced up! I love it haha!! 💃🏽

You can go maximum glam though on a Friday night though and you already know you like him!! 😍

I dont know @bangheadhere40. I’ve been single 5 years now, part of me says I will be forever, part of me is fine with it.. what will be will be..!

@Shayelle2009

I’m also not a mum!

Great to hear the happy updates on here @BelladiMamma, @Slothmomma!

@Eesha love your msg to @Dancerinthemoonlight about the right things finding their way to you... i think that too. And you feel like Goldilocks .. 😆 hope you get some luck on the job front, both you ladies!

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards the worm is yesterday’s old newspaper now! In the recycle bin, never to be looked at again.

Still meeting Mr Gwen on Thursday.. weather’s still meant to be lovely and I’ve got a bit of a tan already. Going on dates actually gives you a buzz/confidence boost doesn’t it 😊

@Shayelle2009 👍🏻🙂❤️

@Shayelle2009 it's a nice summer dress (white with a blue pattern on it), think it will be nice with wedges depending on where we go (otherwise I'll wear flat sandals). I couldn't decide what to wear and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards gave me the idea of a nice summer dress.

I found a coffee date was really nice and relaxed. Just what is needed for date 0, our awkwardness of whether to hug or not was quite funny now I think about it. I still don't know whether I should have hugged him or not.

[quote Isitreallyme77]**@Shayelle2009* it's a nice summer dress (white with a blue pattern on it), think it will be nice with wedges depending on where we go (otherwise I'll wear flat sandals). I couldn't decide what to wear and @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards* gave me the idea of a nice summer dress.

I found a coffee date was really nice and relaxed. Just what is needed for date 0, our awkwardness of whether to hug or not was quite funny now I think about it. I still don't know whether I should have hugged him or not.[/quote]
@Isitreallyme77 that sounds lovely 😊 I love that kind of style.

Just call me the style influencer 😂😂😂

@Shayelle hope you have a wonderful time on Thursday ❤️

@BelladiMamma - so glad it’s going well for you.

@Isitreallyme77 - ooh new dress 👗, it’s lovely to be able to finally dress up a bit

@Shayelle2009 - good luck for your date zero on Thursday

@bangheadhere40 - I know what you mean - I’m stuck out in the middle of nowhere - slim pickings

I’ve been single 5 years too and I do feel like it will be forever - but you guys here have given me hope . Oh to find that elusive chemistry again - maybe that should be my goal before I reach 55!

Weird Mr Cricket has taken himself off Tinder, I know he said last week he was thinking about it as he said it wasn't really him, he was there an hour ago. I'm not blocked on WhatsApp (not yet anyway) now I'm worrying that it was a too good to be true.

@Isitreallyme77

Weird Mr Cricket has taken himself off Tinder, I know he said last week he was thinking about it as he said it wasn't really him, he was there an hour ago. I'm not blocked on WhatsApp (not yet anyway) now I'm worrying that it was a too good to be true.

@Isitreallyme77 don't give up on him yet. Give it a bit of time and see if he comes back ❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards thank you. I know I'm probably being a bit silly, if he was disappearing he would have blocked me on WhatsApp and wouldn't have agreed to Friday. I don't want to bring it up with him either. I'm not actually swiping at the moment (my head can't deal with multiple chats or dates) I just went on to hide my profile.