Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

is this about 'office' politics or something else

Just grievances. Some have come up since we've not been in the office as well. "He gestured at me on a Teams call" 🙄
I so want to get out of HR! Two more years I reckon, to fill up my pension enough.

@naimee87 it makes him 9 years older. I'm 28 and he is 37. I had lowered my age limit to 34/35 on the apps where its free to set an age limit as I have found that above that age I have little in common with a man and it's more about them just wanting someone much younger on their arm.

@Naimee87 I'm a HR student and had a season on grievances last night. Me and
@VanGoghsDog we're just taking about it, since she works in HR ❤️

*were

@VanGoghsDog

is this about 'office' politics or something else

Just grievances. Some have come up since we've not been in the office as well. "He gestured at me on a Teams call" 🙄
I so want to get out of HR! Two more years I reckon, to fill up my pension enough.

@VanGoghsDog I'll probably be feeling like that in a few years time! ❤️

@VanGoghsDog

is this about 'office' politics or something else

Just grievances. Some have come up since we've not been in the office as well. "He gestured at me on a Teams call" 🙄
I so want to get out of HR! Two more years I reckon, to fill up my pension enough.

Oh bloody hell! It's amazing what some people complain about! 😂❤️

@Naimee87 no one else at the moment. I do enjoy chatting to Mr Confused, it's fun if nothing else. He can take the piss and I do it back (apparently I take 3 cycles of the earth going round the sun to make a decision🤣).

Is there anyone on your radar at the moment?

@Dancerinthemoonlight oh you're so little! I mean that in the nicest way possible so please don't take it wrong or as a mean comment! I'm 34 on monday... and you give such good advice! Amazing!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards and @VanGoghsDog i have yet to hear very good things about any HR department have to say. Is it not one of the most interesting places to work, learning about issues in departments?

@Naimee87 thanks you. I took it in a good way, it made me laugh and brighten up a day of boring mandatory training and quizzes.
I give advice to what I would want to hear and what I wish I had of known going through some of the things. I also did a lot of work on myself over lockdown and thanks to the amazing women on this thread I do now I see I have a lot to offer a partner.
This thread has helped me grow so much as a person since I joined in August/September 2019.

[quote Naimee87]@Dancerinthemoonlight oh you're so little! I mean that in the nicest way possible so please don't take it wrong or as a mean comment! I'm 34 on monday... and you give such good advice! Amazing!
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards and @VanGoghsDog i have yet to hear very good things about any HR department have to say. Is it not one of the most interesting places to work, learning about issues in departments?[/quote]
@Naimee87 there are some good ones, and bad ones, as is the case in any profession.

I haven't personally worked in HR yet, but decided to retrain after having bad experiences in my previous job in financial services. I needed various Adjustments and help, which were not sought for me until a very late stage, so I wanted to see if I could help managers to help other people in my position sooner. ❤️

@Naimee87 it is a very interesting sector though. ❤️

i have yet to hear very good things about any HR department have to say. Is it not one of the most interesting places to work, learning about issues in departments?

I've been HR over 25 years and I've yet to find an HR department I could say good things about. This is why I do contract work and run my own consultancy. I like the employee relations and tribunal work. I do short term roles because I get bored of writing policies and telling people how much sick pay they have left - in most organisations to be honest HR just pick up the crap managers can't be bothered to deal with or have buggered up.
When you hear bad things it's normally about admin tbh, contracts going out late, poor recruitment practices, bad planning, incorrect policy interpretation.
That's all way in the past for me, thank god.
But I do love a good reorganization or sacking!

I love representing at tribunal. Judges are so funny. I really enjoy the technical side of the legal aspects of the role and I am lucky enough to be able to bring this to my short term contracts as few HR teams in house have my level of legal understanding, they tend to do fluffy best practice, where I do "what the law actually says", because the latter is what a tribunal judges you against.

I have a first class jaw degree too.
Though I'm also quite good with words so employers like my ability to bring things to life and write useful policy documents, briefings and training etc.

I hope an employer thinks as highly of me, one day 🤞🏻

I haven't been able to work for a couple of years, so have got a quite a bit to learn about the profession. ❤️

@Dancerinthemoonlight Oh good! Didn't want to sound condescending in anyway. I think this thread works best the more honest you are. And this is what can make you feel lighter inside as well. It's its on form of therapy in a way. So many different age ranges and home-life situations as well. Just makes you feel like your support network is massive.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I think its always good if you can chase your dreams especially job-wise. So good luck with the course.
I'm looking for a career change, can't happen now with my son still sort of little, 11 is a funny age, they like to be all cool with their friends but still enjoy a bed time story and find the dark scary! My goal is one day to turn this hobby of truck driving into a job in the future. First got to put in the practical hours and pass one more test, but it's the first time that i have had a think about what job i'd like. My current job is amazing, really like the environment and the people but it just isn't captivating to me. I took it as I knew i needed security for me and my son and this gives us this. And i know you can't have it all but you can always try right?

[quote Naimee87]@Dancerinthemoonlight Oh good! Didn't want to sound condescending in anyway. I think this thread works best the more honest you are. And this is what can make you feel lighter inside as well. It's its on form of therapy in a way. So many different age ranges and home-life situations as well. Just makes you feel like your support network is massive.
@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I think its always good if you can chase your dreams especially job-wise. So good luck with the course.
I'm looking for a career change, can't happen now with my son still sort of little, 11 is a funny age, they like to be all cool with their friends but still enjoy a bed time story and find the dark scary! My goal is one day to turn this hobby of truck driving into a job in the future. First got to put in the practical hours and pass one more test, but it's the first time that i have had a think about what job i'd like. My current job is amazing, really like the environment and the people but it just isn't captivating to me. I took it as I knew i needed security for me and my son and this gives us this. And i know you can't have it all but you can always try right?[/quote]
@Naimee87 absolutely And thank you so much! I'be nearly finished my foundation year now. I've still got some work to do with a couple of my assignments due to me having to defer because of issues with my health, but I'll get there, I'm sure 🙂

The best of luck to you as well, with your driving ❤️

I'm confused, so after taking the piss as I have no hot water and had to have a cold shower this morning, Mr Confused did offer me the use of his, which resulted in a little flirting🤦‍♀️ and more piss taking. I know if I went to meet him I'd get hurt as we want different things but we have both said we think we would get on well. He knows that I want more than sex and he has been honest with me about just wanting no strings female company. So why are we still talking to each other when we know we want different things.

@Isitreallyme77

Hmmm....this situation sounds like playing with fire a bit? He’s been honest about what he’s after.

Does he want to meet for a drink or a meal or a walk with no sex involved?

@Isitreallyme77 the cynic in me thinks he might as well keep chatting in case you change your mind/find him too hard to resist.
My advice (after being strung along for months with "chill out", "no labels") is to cut and run if you're sure you don't want to do the casual sex thing, rather than hope he comes round to your way of thinking. Saves heartache in the long run!

Few messages from MrPM asking how I’m getting on after my vaccine.

Not really going to overfunction on this - my city came out of big lockdown last weekend so if he wants to come down he can but I’m not going to get involved with logistics beyond that and back on apps soonish anyway.

I'm feeling rather crappy today 😕

I haven't spent a long time on the apps as I find it mainly pointless. It's kind of hitting home though I might not meet anyone I like ever again.

@SpringlikeBunk and @Heartbeats0708 thank you both, it does feel like I'm playing with fire a bit. The chat is so easy though (takes me back to the early days with Computer Geek). He keeps saying he doesn't want to go out but doesn't want to do in either.

Yeh some people are really good with words and chatty - but talk is cheap.

I can Mumsnet loads whilst I’m doing other things it’s no time investment at all!

Just be wary he might be probing/building up rapport/waiting till you’re feeling a bit vulnerable and then you might agree to something you regret later...

(nothing wrong with casual but if you’re clear you don’t want it then might be best to retreat a bit. He knows what you want - if he wants to ask you on a date he can)

@bangheadhere40

I'm feeling rather crappy today 😕

I haven't spent a long time on the apps as I find it mainly pointless. It's kind of hitting home though I might not meet anyone I like ever again.

@bangheadhere40 ❤️😘❤️

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards glad you have bounced back ☺️👍👍

@bangheadhere40 ahh It is disheartening. How about just looking to see if there is a new hobby or activity you can start, to get out and about, focus on, new people/thing to think about, change of scene?? Some sport, walking, I dont know, anything 🙂 just a suggestion.

@VanGoghsDog and Onwards I feel sorry for our HR dept its the volume of issues and stuff they have to deal with and omg everything’s so time consuming!!! 🤯🤯

I’m super excited a good pal of mine has said we’re going clubbing in July. I am SOOOO excited!! Already planning my outfit!! Can’t even remember the last time I went out out!!

Thanks shayelle yeah I need to do something I think. I like my own company and am not normally bothered about having a partner, just today for some reason.