Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Definitely agree on the few gems @Shayelle2009

I think what I’ll do is get past this next work stage and have some “normal out of lockdown” life before getting back on and finding some more gems!

Emotionally I find wfh and using the apps and not having much other social FTF stuff just has been getting too intense

it’s like using twitter in political season, you kind of end up paranoid and thinking everyone is untrustworthy or flaky

or every bloke is sex obsessed and wants to come round or send you photos of his willy!

When obviously most people and interactions aren’t like that.

I'm also feeling a bit jaded with all the initial chat stuff you have to do. Update from me is I decided to meet Mr Blue Eyes again so have had 2 dates with him and Mr Finance now. And will give it a go with Mr Finance, but Blue Eyes and I both said it would be nice to stay in touch as mates so that's cool. But, I'm so tired with the sun waking me at stupid o'clock every day that I'm not feeling it with dating at all particularly. Part of me just wishes I was in a family with a partner who loved me rather than all this dating malarkey...exciting as it can be.

Another match, another chat. Coming up with clever, quick and funny comments - trying to bat theirs right back at them. Being a bit unusual without being weird. Showing a bit of personality while giving away a minimum of personal information. Waiting to see if they're interesting enough to consider meeting, in case they find you interesting enough to meet you.... it's all getting a bit deja vu and I'm not sure I can muster up the enthusiasm again. Match, chat, meet, repeat...

@WeWantTheFinestWines

Yy to all that - trying to be ethical and flirtatious and not cynical whilst keeping boundaries strong and screening...and knowing it might be for a flake or just fizzle out 🤷‍♂️

Oh and the added joy of “keeping to lockdown boundaries”

I’m not anti-apps, definitely agree there’s some good ones but right now am 😑😑😑😑

@WeWantTheFinestWines yep, right there with you on all that!

It's like having constant job interviews where you are both the interviewer and the interviewee. In fact, that sounds like a nightmare!

[quote SortingItOut]@Dancerinthemoonlight Its definitely unusual for the Dad to have a child full time, my brother is early 30's and he has his daughter (aged 2) living with him as her mum/his girlfriend died when their daughter was only 8 months old.
The maternal grandparents have her 2 days a week when he works.[/quote]
So sorry to hear that

It really doesn't help that I talk a lot for a living. The last thing I want to do sometimes is more talking!

@Misty9

It really doesn't help that I talk a lot for a living. The last thing I want to do sometimes is more talking!

I'm in HR, I spend my life interviewing people, telling people what to do or being a counselling service. And as I work on short term contracts I also go for about four interviews a year!

Dating is like work for me, the only difference being that I might need to dodge a kiss at the end!

Mr Cricket has just cancelled Friday, apparently he has to look after his daughter as his ex has a works do and has only just told him.🙄 oh well the dress can go back I suppose.

I’m normally ok with it - I think right now it feels like I have a good chance to get away for a few mini breaks, do post lockdown stuff and enjoy it (I have a couple of friends who will host me for city breaks)

and spending five days working out if “Matt aged 39” is interested in a three hour second meet just feels too much mental load and effort

@Isitreallyme77

Mr Cricket has just cancelled Friday, apparently he has to look after his daughter as his ex has a works do and has only just told him.🙄 oh well the dress can go back I suppose.

@Isitreallyme77 what a shame I'd keep the dress for yourself though ❤️

@Slothmomma

Had another date with MrHair last night (and another stop over) and it was lovely. Wont be able to see each other properly for a week now due to childcare, save for the odd 30 mins walk here and there as I can nip out for short periods, so back to messages and facetime to keep up contact but that's OK, seems to be working OK 😁

Yay 😁

Well, the great news is that I haven't managed to scare/ out Mr. HR off me yet and we're still talking 🙂

He's over at his parents place in Dorset for the week (they moved from The Midlands) apparently it's been raining over there but he's made some good use of the local cafes ❤️

*put him off me, I mean. Stupid autocorrect! ❤️

I think I'm destined to be single as I only seem to attract dickheads. Nice guys don't want me.

@Isitreallyme77

I think I'm destined to be single as I only seem to attract dickheads. Nice guys don't want me.

@Isitreallyme77 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@Isitreallyme77 Don't let this get you down, all this time you've been hung up with Mr CG so really you are only slowly getting back on the horse. You have had decent enough dates too. Just don't dwell and if the current one doesn't fit the bill, there will always be better round the corner for you. Always!

Thank you @OnwardsEverStridingOnwards I'm picking my dress up today(missed the postman yesterday) so I may just keep it. I bought new sandals too yesterday! Good luck with Mr HR!

@Eesha thank you. I suppose he could be telling the truth, I'll just have to wait and see what happens today, he did apologise for letting me down though. I have to remember not every man is like Mr CG, full of bull and self pity after all and he seems like a genuine guy who wouldn't have said yes if he wasn't interested.

I’m not minding the addition of the tinder entertainment in my life at the mo. However I’ve not allowed myself to get close to anyone or give anyone much of a chance (avoidant) so probably forgotten about how it can hurt. Not expecting to meet anyone decent on it - but it happens!

@Isitreallyme77 don’t be down on yourself! Keep the dress, go out with a friend for drinks instead and wear it! You may still meet up with mr cricket, chin up 💐

@OnwardsEverStridingOnwards
glad you are chatting with mr HR still ☺️

@Shayelle2009 thank you. I'm going for a pedicure on Saturday with a friend and I'll keep the dress (if it suits me) for my brunch date with friends next week. I was just looking forward to (and got rather excited about) going out for a drink with a man (who isn't a friend) for a change.

Good 💅🏻 Sounds lovely, hopefully you will meet up again but just keep swiping sweet and meet other people too x

@Isitreallyme77 - keep the dress and enjoy your brunch
And yes keep swiping !
I’ve swiped tinder to death, it’s started flashing at me and saying I’ve gone through all the men so they’re making me Global !!! Ha.

I am messaging with Mr Chatty. He’s quite far from me - 1 hour drive and motorway but he’s quite nice to chat to. Made a change - his first message to me was sooooooo long - rather than just a hi.

Hello all, I’ve not posted before but have seen this thread and was hoping I could ask for some advice.

I’ve used the apps on and off for the last five years with a few dates and chats.
Had a very messy break from my ex and so was really wary and cautious about any man tbh.

But recently every single chat I’ve started has been ended by them. It’s making me lose my confidence in my chat skills!
I’m never flirtatious in the first couple of messages and I’m wondering if this is why? Other than that I’m always attempting to be witty, funny, interesting and interested in them.
I’m really at a loss as to where I’m going wrong. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.

@Isitreallyme77 definitely keep the dress! You'll get another opportunity to wear it for sure.

It seems just so easy to be flaky with online dating, cancelling last minute and making excuses behind a screen is just so easy to do. Reminds me of someone i was talking to a while ago when i was on the apps, admittedly his photo looked too good to be true. But he was really nice and as he was new to the town i live in (moved for a job) i offered to show him round. He'd had to quarantine so we planned to meet the first wknd he was free, up until the thursday before we were chatting about all sorts, where we'd go, what time etc. I sent my number and the next thing i know he 'ghosts' never hear from him again. I never checked in with him but it was pretty clear as my last message had questions he blatantly just ignored. And he never got in touch with me over whatsapp/text either. No explanation and again you just end up with a massive ?