Dating Thread 205 - dusting off the gladrags

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Dancerinthemoonlight

Chatting to a potential on Tinder. He has a 3 year old son, says the son predominantly live with him as the son prefers loving with him. I am child free but feel like there must be a reason as to why but don't want to pry. I know it potentially means not much time for dates as I'm young and child free so outside of work have a lot of free time.

@Dancerinthemoonlight he might mention it at a later date? ❤️

@onwardseverstridingonwards
He might. I suppose it peaked my curiosity as it's more of an unusual set up the dad having the child pretty much full time.
He has admitted that he doesn't know if he has time to date with work and his son. It's just a wait and see if we meet and how we get on in person.

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@onwardseverstridingonwards
He might. I suppose it peaked my curiosity as it's more of an unusual set up the dad having the child pretty much full time.
He has admitted that he doesn't know if he has time to date with work and his son. It's just a wait and see if we meet and how we get on in person.[/quote]
@Dancerinthemoonlight yes, I would just carry on chatting to him and just see how it goes ❤️

I

Sorry- the 'I' was a typo! ❤️

[quote Dancerinthemoonlight]@onwardseverstridingonwards
He might. I suppose it peaked my curiosity as it's more of an unusual set up the dad having the child pretty much full time.
He has admitted that he doesn't know if he has time to date with work and his son. It's just a wait and see if we meet and how we get on in person.[/quote]
I thought I didn't too but equally wanted to meet someone for a nice scenario eg going out and doing things together once per week or so. I've found that as MrBear and I get on so well and it feels easy, not pressured, we can spend more time together than I thought. So it depends on the personal chemistry. Although if you already know you're looking for a 100% full time situation then you're going to have to move on ...

@Dancerinthemoonlight Its definitely unusual for the Dad to have a child full time, my brother is early 30's and he has his daughter (aged 2) living with him as her mum/his girlfriend died when their daughter was only 8 months old.
The maternal grandparents have her 2 days a week when he works.

Hearing all your stories makes me want to at least get some chats going but i am SO reluctant to join the apps! I wasn't cut out for it before and i don't know if i'm in a good enough head-space after the wonderful ghosting experience to put myself out there again.
Nice to hear you went out shopping, i've a whole saturday 'child-free,' not that an 11yr old needs too much 'looking after' but beats having the flat full of kids or arguing to get him out into the fresh air! So i'm going to go summer clothes shopping. There is a party coming up in a few weeks where i really don't know too many people, perhaps they'll be someone decent to get chatting too, who know's!

@Naimee87

Hearing all your stories makes me want to at least get some chats going but i am SO reluctant to join the apps! I wasn't cut out for it before and i don't know if i'm in a good enough head-space after the wonderful ghosting experience to put myself out there again. Nice to hear you went out shopping, i've a whole saturday 'child-free,' not that an 11yr old needs too much 'looking after' but beats having the flat full of kids or arguing to get him out into the fresh air! So i'm going to go summer clothes shopping. There is a party coming up in a few weeks where i really don't know too many people, perhaps they'll be someone decent to get chatting too, who know's!

Hope you have a lovely day out, @Naimee87!❤️

I just got an update from a friend who was setup by her boss with someone that could not have been more opposite to her usual type, rather short, bald and still married (but divorce is in the final stages) two kids as well. Also religious and she is 100% atheist but very spiritual. They are on date number 5 and met just over two weeks ago! just makes me more sure i'm ruling some men out far too quickly. But for me 'nice' is such a turn-off, wish this wasn't the case. I just love the 'treat em mean keep em keen' types! Annoying!

I have had a quick video call in between work meetings with him.
Think it's going to be a no from me. He only has 1 picture on his profile and the video call and the picture doesn't quite match up. Also made it clear that if we get along he wants to have sex with me but also wants to get to know me.
Way to make me feel like a piece of meat who is just there for a man.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

I have had a quick video call in between work meetings with him. Think it's going to be a no from me. He only has 1 picture on his profile and the video call and the picture doesn't quite match up. Also made it clear that if we get along he wants to have sex with me but also wants to get to know me. Way to make me feel like a piece of meat who is just there for a man.

@Dancerinthemoonlight 🤢🤢🤮

Had another date with MrHair last night (and another stop over) and it was lovely. Wont be able to see each other properly for a week now due to childcare, save for the odd 30 mins walk here and there as I can nip out for short periods, so back to messages and facetime to keep up contact but that's OK, seems to be working OK 😁

@Slothmomma

Had another date with MrHair last night (and another stop over) and it was lovely. Wont be able to see each other properly for a week now due to childcare, save for the odd 30 mins walk here and there as I can nip out for short periods, so back to messages and facetime to keep up contact but that's OK, seems to be working OK 😁

@Slothmomma 😀

@Slothmomma I think a lot can be said about not being too available in the beginning and having time in between dates, if by choice or because of kids/work. Its then more exciting when you do get to see each other. Especially when you can relax into their texting/video chat habits too.

Sounds great @Slothmomma

Mr Roads was sweet and attentive last night - a good fab play date, I think he wanted me to stay but I was tired and wanted my bed. And my space. Which I think says it all.

Mr HT is quiet and intimated family stuff. I've just let him know I'm here is he needs and stepped back. He's not said he's not coming later so I expect him in a few hours.

@cravingthelook i'm a bit new and not to sure about how long things have been going with Mr Roads, but has it been a while? Have you stayed at his before or he at yours. Just curious as i had such wonderful afternoons/dinners/nights out with this one man but as soon as it got late to spending 'alone' time together and staying the night i just never ever wanted to. Was such a shame as i know it confused him a lot and me as well... needless to say i didn't keep in contact with him as it ultimately would have only been friendship from me and he was keen to be more than that. I miss him though we really did have a good connection just not a romantic one.

Someone come and give me a shake please.
I have a date tomorrow night but he is in the army. I know what happening to avoiding army men.
Now it's a question of am I attracted to you because I like the way you look or because it is familiar territory.

I've had some of my best sex with military men. Not sure why but it does seem to be a thing.

@vangoghsdog the sex with Mr Army was amazing. Still resisting the urge to ask if he is still single.

I need to give my brain a wobble. Don't know what the new iron will be like in person or if I will feel any attraction to him. I suppose I will name him Mr Para.

Am I being a snob not really wanting to go to a Wetherspoons for a first date. Meant to be meeting tomorrow at 7pm and then deciding on where to go but he has already mentioned the possibility of going to Wetherspoons

I wouldn't go to Wetherspoons for any date.

@Naimee87 personally im giving 'nice' a chance these days as im pretty nice myself plus these unreliable sorts haven't done well for my anxiety levels and i would much rather be sure when someone wants to see me/likes me etc.

@Naimee87 I find myself in the same situations too, I want to want “nice” but I just can’t. If they’re too nice nice I friend zone them, if they’re too bad I block them. Struggling for a happy centre ground

I'm also giving 'nice' a chance, Mr Cricket is nice and up until last night when he deleted his Tinder account I was fine and my anxiety levels were fine. Now my anxiety is through the roof and even though he has read and not replied straight away before, today has had me worried but it's also half term and he might be seeing his daughter. I think he is far too nice to say yes to a date and then disappear or say yes to a date he isn't interested in. He also wouldn't have suggested a day if he wasn't interested. So I just have to chill.

@Dancerinthemoonlight

love a Wetherspoons and a military guy so no help there

I don’t think you need to be too rigid about forcing yourself to like or not like certain kinds of guys - you’re young you can go on dates without thinking you need to work out if they’re husband material.

maybe think more about emotionally pacing yourself/not rushing into things/setting boundaries/knowing how to pull back if you’re uncomfortable?

Which you’ve done a lot of over the time you’ve been on this thread. All women encounter the bad guys, it’s just knowing how to eliminate them - I’m still learning myself

But I guess that applies to all social interactions not just dating army guys in particular?

All quiet here - enjoying gym and got a great work opportunity so going to lean in on that so I don’t blow it (dates come and go but getting in with Silicon Valley masterminds is a rare chance!)

MrC is back and in quarantine at home. Not really sure what’s going on or not going on there (he seemed to pull back a bit so maybe he started chatting to someone else?)

but this month it’s all about work really for me not cock.