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Original poster

DP just text me from his 2nd phone...

194 replies

MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 12:22

So my DP has just text me from an unknown number which I suspect is a second sim card.

There have been instances maybe a year or 2 ago where I have caught him messaging other women. I think he's got a 2nd phone to cover his tracks.

How do I play this? Text back "who's this?" or wait until I get home and say something? Don't think he has realised his mistake yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:56

@Boonlark

There's no point talking to him anymore. He's not going to tell you the truth. You need some time and space to yourself to decide what you want to do.
He has gone to work now (works nightshifts) so that's why I'm on here updating and getting very angry Angry
OP posts:
Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:57

No RL support unfortunately. I have no family. No kids involved either though!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 27/05/2021 18:57

He really does think you're daft if you believe that rubbish. And he clearly believes you'll stay with him no matter what.

What are the advantages in staying with this man?

Icanflyhigh · 27/05/2021 18:58

Gaslighting. If it were me in your shoes, I'd be gone by the morning when he finishes he shift.
The house would be empty too.

Scrumptiousbears · 27/05/2021 18:59

What a dick. I know it's easy for us to say but he's done it before and clearly lying now. It's time to leave.

SpeckledlyHen · 27/05/2021 19:02

@Icanflyhigh

Gaslighting. If it were me in your shoes, I'd be gone by the morning when he finishes he shift. The house would be empty too.
This
MadMadMadamMim · 27/05/2021 19:04

You rarely have sex, you've caught him messaging other women and now it's clear that not only does he have no respect for you but he also thinks you are stupid.

If you stay with him, where do you see this relationship going?

Because it's not going well, is it?

I''d be done.

Moonshine11 · 27/05/2021 19:04

Ffs what an excuse, bet he was going over it in his head all afternoon.
Get rid!

RandomMess · 27/05/2021 19:07

DARVO
Deny
Accuse
Reverse Victim and Offender

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 19:09

@HollowTalk

He really does think you're daft if you believe that rubbish. And he clearly believes you'll stay with him no matter what.

What are the advantages in staying with this man?

Shallow, materialistic advantages.

Companionship (because I have no family). We have a big beautiful house that we will have to sell if we split. He will want "joint custody" of the dog.. I know that sounds stupid but that dog is like my baby. Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 19:11

The thought of leaving scares the life out of me.

OP posts:
bigbaggyeyes · 27/05/2021 19:14

I was sat thinking on this today and wondering how he could make this innocent.

The 'I was trying to catch you out' was one excuse
Work gave him a new number was the other

He's full of shit op. But o doubt you'll get proof now because he'll be extra careful. You either stay and make peace with the fact he's a cheating shit and he'll continue to do this (cheaters get better the more they get caught out). Or you divorce him

GertietheGherkin · 27/05/2021 19:16

It's hard when these things happen I know, but if you stay OP he's just going to do this over and over. He's already being incredibly disrespectful treating you like a fool. Do you seriously want to stay with him? You've caught him messaging others, and he's deflecting it all back onto you. These mind games will wear you down.

NautaOcts · 27/05/2021 19:20

Like others have mentioned I still don’t really understand why having a second SIM would be ‘safer’ than just using his phone normally? How does it help hide stuff?

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 27/05/2021 19:21

The thought of leaving scares the life out of me.

The thought of staying (with someone who thinks so little of you) should scare you more.

RandomMess · 27/05/2021 19:21

How old are you? What do you want in your future?

NautaOcts · 27/05/2021 19:21

It’s not like you get paper bills anymore and people could check what numbers you are messaging/phoning. Ah remember those days of the itemised phone bill!

Hullish · 27/05/2021 19:26

If you had left two years ago, you would be happily settled in a new life by now and over him.

Where do you want to be in another two years?

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 19:31

@Hullish

If you had left two years ago, you would be happily settled in a new life by now and over him.

Where do you want to be in another two years?

We almost split up those 2 years ago. I asked him to move back with his mum while I thought about things. Then he started talking about houses he had looked at and where his half of our furniture was going to go in his new house...

I just freaked out. The thought of him moving on and making all these plans so quickly just totally threw me and I begged him to come back Sad

OP posts:
Giantrooster · 27/05/2021 19:48

I'm so sorry OP, but what is most important to you, respect and peace of mind or the house and comfort?

You can make new friends, get a support system, you can even let him walk the dog from time to time and get on without this, this... man.

He really must think you are stupid trying to accuse you. Don't make the mistake you did last time, he really played on your insecurities.

If you decide to go for house and comfort, please get a network in place and take a lover.

LostSocksBrigade · 27/05/2021 19:49

He's obviously lying. He's probably wiped the phones themselves, but on the off chance he was texting or calling and not using WhatsApp you could ask to see the phone records.

Twoforthree · 27/05/2021 19:49

You’ve got no choice no otherwise you’ll have basically given him permission to do anything he wants and he knows there won’t be any repercussions.

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 27/05/2021 19:51

I had a twin sim phone years ago so it’s definitely possible. One was contract and one was PAYG. So disgraceful that he’s doing this to you.

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 19:52

"Take a lover", now that did make me smile.

OP posts:
Giantrooster · 27/05/2021 19:59

I'm sorry if that's not the correct way of putting it Blush (English is not my first language). Get a lover?

You surely need someone looking out for you, and your partner thinks he has been given carte blanche to do whatever he pleases.