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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP just text me from his 2nd phone...

194 replies

MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 12:22

So my DP has just text me from an unknown number which I suspect is a second sim card.

There have been instances maybe a year or 2 ago where I have caught him messaging other women. I think he's got a 2nd phone to cover his tracks.

How do I play this? Text back "who's this?" or wait until I get home and say something? Don't think he has realised his mistake yet.

OP posts:
custardbear · 27/05/2021 18:41

That'll Be gaslighting ... next he'll be telling you it's all your fault ...

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:42

That's not even the worst of the bullshit. He's trying to convince me that he didn't put the sim card in his duel phone. He put the sim card in his old phone. But swears he sent me the message from his duel phone. I said how has it sent from this new number then? He spun some bullshit about both sims being on the same network and how his duel phone with old simcard must now be sending texts masquerading as the new number. Hmm sorry but what? Why even lie about that. Even typing it out made me feel ridiculous.

OP posts:
PinkSatinMoon · 27/05/2021 18:42

Projecting lying cheating scum bag

HollowTalk · 27/05/2021 18:42

What a bastard, trying to blame you for that. You will need to dig deeper, OP - you need to ask for that phone immediately, giving him no chance to change anything.

PriestessofPing · 27/05/2021 18:44

Wow. To me that’s worse than whatever he’s been up to - that’s he’s calmly sat and figured out a way to try and turn it on you and gone through the pantomime of pretending he didn’t know what you were going on about. How disrespectful, not to mention treating you like you’re a complete fool.

Blueskytoday06 · 27/05/2021 18:44

DARVO as another PP said

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:44

As PP said, he's had all afternoon to wipe his phone, dispose of the new sim, whatever he needs to do. There would be no point demanding his phone now.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 27/05/2021 18:44

@Blankspace101

If he did have a 2nd phone for affairs he’s hardly going to text his wife from it! Probably doesn’t even have your number saved on his affair phone.
It's the same phone but a different SIM. Why is that so hard to understand?
youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/05/2021 18:45

@PriestessofPing

Wow. To me that’s worse than whatever he’s been up to - that’s he’s calmly sat and figured out a way to try and turn it on you and gone through the pantomime of pretending he didn’t know what you were going on about. How disrespectful, not to mention treating you like you’re a complete fool.
This. Absolutely this.

Ugh I'm so angry for you OP.

Boonlark · 27/05/2021 18:45

Sorry OP, he's obviously lying, it's classic behaviour. And it's also an abusive response, because he wants you to have to placate him and convince him that you're not cheating, which takes the spotlight off him and makes you the bad one.

AnyFucker · 27/05/2021 18:45

He’s at it, op

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:46

PriestessofPing I do feel like an absolute fool. Does he really think I'm that stupid?

OP posts:
Boonlark · 27/05/2021 18:47

@MadeForFun

PriestessofPing I do feel like an absolute fool. Does he really think I'm that stupid?
. He's not thinking about you. He's only thinking about how he can avoid being caught
RoseisMadder · 27/05/2021 18:50

Wait, what?? How would he catfish you with an unknown number? Was he thinking you’d reply and start a conversation?
OP, second sim aside, you know he is lying to you, deflecting, gaslighting and that is incredibly disrespectful to you and your integrity. He thinks so little of you, that would be enough for me to walk

PinkSatinMoon · 27/05/2021 18:50

@custardbear

That'll Be gaslighting ... next he'll be telling you it's all your fault ...

aye 🙄

PinkSatinMoon · 27/05/2021 18:50

Kick him out 🌷

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 27/05/2021 18:51

He is certainly treating you as though you are stupid OP.

Channelling Catherine Tate’s nan here but

What a load of old shit.

Say anything. Do anything. Hide everything.

You deserve honesty.

NaiceAftTea · 27/05/2021 18:51

Screenshot the message and email to yourself, send to a friend so that it's retrievable if he manages to get hold of your phone for a covering his arse session.

Thanks for you, sister

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:52

Yes apparently he was going to start texting me and try to what...? Get me to flirt/agree to meet up with a complete stranger? I said if you really think I'm capable of that, then we have a serious problem don't we?

What a shower of shit.

OP posts:
NaiceAftTea · 27/05/2021 18:53

Please book yourself an STD test.

Melitza · 27/05/2021 18:53

@MadeForFun

PriestessofPing I do feel like an absolute fool. Does he really think I'm that stupid?
Ask him outright if thats the best story he can make up in 5 hours. He's pathetic!
malikaqi · 27/05/2021 18:54

Don't put up with this sort of behaviour. I'd suggest leaving him.

Boonlark · 27/05/2021 18:54

There's no point talking to him anymore. He's not going to tell you the truth. You need some time and space to yourself to decide what you want to do.

Original poster
MadeForFun · 27/05/2021 18:55

@NaiceAftTea

Please book yourself an STD test.
We rarely have sex so don't see that being an issue thankfully.
OP posts:
scaredsadandstuck · 27/05/2021 18:55

Sorry OP, but he really sounds like he's up to no good. Flowers

Even if the (frankly laughable) catfish story were true, why would he think you'd want to stay with someone who would do that to you?!

Do you have some IRL support as well? Are there kids involved?

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