More Legs chapter three - the one where there’s a little light at the end of the tunnel

[MoreLegsThanMe]

New thread. Can’t believe I’ve got to three.

It’s a good chance I think that they’ll stick together, happy or not. They’ve given away absolutely everything (although she still sees her children) so they do need each other don’t they.

I have my fingers crossed for the marriage certificate tomorrow. I really believe he thinks I wouldn’t go ahead with it. I also think it might prompt a flurry of messages asking what he’s supposed to do. Bloody pay a solicitor that’s what you can do.

I think of the two of us I will come out the other side better than him. I have the support of his family, all the DC, and you wonderful women. He has her and that’s it. I don’t know about her family and I’m sure as can be that the pair of them have created yet another lie as the backstory to how they met. Can’t exactly tell the truth can they. ANC in a few short years he’ll be 70. Yuk.

It still doesn’t feel like I’ll be better off at the end but I’m hoping that feeling will come.

If anyone knows how to link this thread to the old one can you let me know please?

x

m1shap3 I'm also hoping Legs and her family are OK.

Im hoping legs is so happy she's moved on from needing us.

I hope all's well with you MoreLegs. You deserve to be happy.

That must've been one helluva weekend modelers.....

Seriously though, hoping you're ok and juat enjoying you new-found you!!

Modelers??

Morelegs obviously!!

@MoreLegsThanMe Hope you are keeping OK

Thank you so much! x

We have all, in turn, been really poorly. First DD4, then DS, now me. Today is the very best I’ve felt in weeks but I’m forcing myself to take it easy.

I just wanted to let you know I am still here and, as ever, hoping for your support and advice. Our being ill has taken over everything recently. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.

I’ll come back and update properly over the weekend. In the meantime, thank you all for thinking of me. I’m so grateful.

x

Take care Legs

[flowers}

for you Legs

Best wishes to you all, look after yourself and take it easy.

Hope you all feel better soon ,legs

💐 Hope you are all on the mend soon. Take care legs.

Get well soon to you and the DC, MoreLegs. Take care, lovely.

Feel better soon OP x

Sorry to hear that you've all been I'll. Hope you'll feel much better soon.

Hope you and the family feel better soon 💐💐

I meant ill, obviously, my tablet thinks it knows best!

So sorry everyone’s been so unwell @MoreLegsThanMe. I hope you and yours recover soon and you’re all back on top form.

Sorry to hear you’ve all been unwell, Legs. I hope you’ve had a restful weekend.

Thank you x

I think I am better now…we’ve all been left feeling tired and with no appetite so I need to try and tempt the DC with something.

I had a weekend away with Mr NM. He was so kind and attentive. I’m really not used to that. I’m not hoping for anything, I’m just enjoying that I can have time away from the DC for the first time and do something for me. I’m still working on the guilt I feel when I do it!

All the DC are good. DD4 has to hand in her personal statement at the end of the week. She’s chosen her universities and courses, so once the personal statement is seen by the relevant person at school and signed her application will be ready to go….

DS has thoroughly got used to his braces now and is back to his usual self. He was at school last week for a sixth form evening. He’s thinking about which A levels he wants.

It’s funny how so much is changing for these two and STBXH has absolutely no idea.

The three older DDs are all well and happy. Their father is never mentioned (they have a private WhatsApp group so maybe they talk about him there?). I’m sure all five DC share a lot of anger towards their father still, and who can blame them really.

I’m yet to hear from the Child Maintenance Service. The end of his last message saying he was waiting for a start date for a new job and would then pay child support was a complete lie. Another lie. There’s no start date and no job either is there…I just have no idea what is going on in his mind.

Decree Nisi is pronounced tomorrow. DD1 thought I’d be happy to get it, but I’m dreading seeing it there in black and white. To me it’s a sign that I’ve failed. My plan was to sort the finances before applying for Decree Absolute, but I can’t do that without his input and he doesn’t give a fuck.

So tomorrow will feel like I’m back to square one, at least in my head. I can’t take in the fact that I’m very nearly no longer married…

Thank you all so much again. I will get through tomorrow as there’s no choice but I’m not looking forward to it. Help!

x

I had mixed feelings over my decree nisi morelegs, on the one hand I felt nothing but relief it was over and I was free, but a sadness on the other hand as I too felt I'd failed.

Come and talk to us tomorrow, you are doing flipping amazing xx

I don’t blame you for feeling bleh about the decree nisi, @MoreLegsThanMe, but you didn’t fail. He failed you all, Darling. I bet he quit his job so he didn’t have to pay CMS. He is a coward of the worst kind.

You’ve done well legs.

You’re bound to feel down, you took your marriage vows very seriously and still do hence the guilt. It’s probably a good time to sort the finances, can you afford to buy him out. Make him a stupid offer that takes account of it being unlikely that you’ll receive anything in CMS for the next 2 years and see what happens, he’s relied on you for everything in your marriage with things like this he probably doesn’t have a clue.

To me it’s a sign that I’ve failed.

No, you did NOT fail! You kept up your end of the marital 'bargain'.

You promised to 'keep yourself only unto him' and you did. HE is the one who failed to keep that promise, big time. And in breaking that promise he proved himself unworthy of your faith in him and thus he released you from the part of the vows that say 'for better or for worse'. Because 'for better or for worse' means a couple standing together to face the troubles that life brings to every couple, it doesn't mean putting up with infidelity or abuse from your partner as being part of the 'worse'. Although plenty of men and some women will tell you it does. They're full of shit IMHO.

So, no, you're not a failure. In actuality, the fact that you have picked yourself up and taken the reins in your hands to rid yourself of that waste of space means that you are a rousing success!!!

Thank you x

@Justilou1 you are right. He clearly has quit his job. I had an email about half an hour ago saying there was a message waiting in my CMS case. Opened it and it appears he’s to pay £30.42 a MONTH. For two children. He’s apparently in receipt of State benefits. I just feel winded. Like someone has taken all the air out of me.

It also says two children live with him. Hers, of course. The children he couldn’t stand and despised. Now he lives with them.

I just cant articulate how I’m feeling. It’s like I imagine he can’t do anything more to me, then he does.

I hate him. I hate the pair of them.

Sorry to rant. I’m still trying to take this in.

x