Thank you x
DS seemed so much brighter yesterday and wanted to go back to school today. He had no temperature and wasn’t complaining of any pain anywhere so in he went.
I’m pretty sure he’s had his first bout of flu. I’m not sure the age limit that Superdrug/Asda etc have for giving flu vaccine but as soon he’s old enough I’ll start getting him vaccinated every year. He’s already said he never ever wants to feel like that again, bless him.
It’s tomorrow he’s meant to have his braces fitted - I feel so so nervous for him! - and the orthodontist rang today to go through the usual Covid checklist. She seemed fine when I told her his PCR was negative but said she’s a little concerned about his lingering cough, just because it makes working in someone’s mouth harder. She’s just told me to remind him he can ask them to stop at any time if he needs to cough, or to have some water etc. She says she’ll also tell him that when he’s in the chair. It’s vanishingly unlikely he’ll allow me to go in with him, so I’ve my fully-charged Kindle at the ready and feeling a mixture of happy and guilty that I’ll get an hour off.
I had a text message tonight (number already deleted and blocked) saying I’m not getting my “fucking hands on any of our money”. Oh dear. Sounds like the CMS have been in touch and all is not so joyful at Beautiful Casa.
Mr NM has actually invited me away for a weekend next month, although he wants to keep where a secret for now. I just know I don’t need anything dressy, which is good because I don’t have anything dressy. I’m desperately excited already. STBXH never took me away for a single night all through the entire marriage.
There’s just one thing, and I really hope I don’t upset or offend anyone talking about it, but as I think you all know by now, I’ve nobody in real life to confide this in. As I’ve said, the sex so far with Mr NM is just completely, totally opposite to that with STBXH. It’s almost as if it’s two different activities it’s so different. I enjoy his pleasure so much, and I know it’s real not just “I’ll go ahead and blow myself up”. I have to be honest though, and say there are no orgasms for me. Mr NM had said it’s not surprising, it’s all so new, I need to learn to just trust him and forget everything else and let go, and then it’ll follow naturally.
Does this sound right to you? Everything else he says he seems to be spot-on, and (much like you lovely lot) he just knows me, if that makes sense.
I’ve tried to work out in my head what the problem is and I do think he’s 99% right. I have this 1% fear though that if I do orgasm with him I’ll somehow be “in his power”. That’s not the right analogy but I think I mean if it happens he’ll know everything about me, all my vulnerability, everything. I’m really not explaining this well, am I.
So is he right? Will it just happen if I relax totally and just let it take me over?
x