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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

More Legs chapter three - the one where there’s a little light at the end of the tunnel

999 replies

MoreLegsThanMe · 25/05/2021 22:41

New thread. Can’t believe I’ve got to three.

It’s a good chance I think that they’ll stick together, happy or not. They’ve given away absolutely everything (although she still sees her children) so they do need each other don’t they.

I have my fingers crossed for the marriage certificate tomorrow. I really believe he thinks I wouldn’t go ahead with it. I also think it might prompt a flurry of messages asking what he’s supposed to do. Bloody pay a solicitor that’s what you can do.

I think of the two of us I will come out the other side better than him. I have the support of his family, all the DC, and you wonderful women. He has her and that’s it. I don’t know about her family and I’m sure as can be that the pair of them have created yet another lie as the backstory to how they met. Can’t exactly tell the truth can they. ANC in a few short years he’ll be 70. Yuk.

It still doesn’t feel like I’ll be better off at the end but I’m hoping that feeling will come.

If anyone knows how to link this thread to the old one can you let me know please?

x

OP posts:
Grrrpredictivetex · 22/09/2021 09:55

Have you moved in with him @Legs? Whatever you're up to I hope you're happy.Thanks

Justilou1 · 22/09/2021 13:33

We all know @MoreLegsThanMe is a lady and has far too much class to kiss and tell…,

(Dagnabbit!!!)

JustKittenAround · 23/09/2021 18:47

Hoping you had a very lovely time!!! No matter what went on or didn’t!!!

WizardOfAus · 23/09/2021 21:34

What a cliffhanger, Legs!!

MoreLegsThanMe · 23/09/2021 21:37

Thank you x

So so sorry for being MIA. I have poorly DS (again) and it’s stressing me. He’s been off school another week already and has the most awful cough. On Monday he was delirious…

Three times I’ve asked the GP for a visit and three times I’ve been told no way.

I’m sure he’s over the worst now but to see your 15-year-old in bed, not even wanting his PS/telly/ laptop blah blah, you know they’re poorly.

DD3 fell in love with her new house until she told her car insurers who’ve increased her premium by over £300.00! She lives in a nicer area than I do, so I have no idea how they work these things out.

DS is moving into her old room once he’s better. His new bed arrived today so there will be a lot of shifting around once he’s back to 100%.

And got those of you wanting to know, I did indeed have sex with Mr NM. In fact, abc go my shame and consternation, I’ve had more sex already than I had in the last ten years……

It sounds so sickening but I never knew a man could be so respectful and gentle. Asking over and over was I okay, am I alright, can I do this, can I do that. It’s just a completely different experience…

I heard from the Court yesterday. Decree Nisi will be pronounced on 19th October. It’s made me feel really upset (again). I dread to think what Decree Absolute will do to me.

I’ll update tomorrow generally. Just didn’t want to leave anyone wondering any longer !!

x

OP posts:
MoreLegsThanMe · 23/09/2021 21:40

Just read that back. When I said GP visit I did of course mean DS and I going to see the GP. Even I’m not stupid enough to ever ask for a home visit!!!

x

OP posts:
WhitePhantom · 23/09/2021 22:01

Aw Legs, sorry to hear about your DS, but... sex!! Woo hoo! And great sex at that! 😁

WhitePhantom · 23/09/2021 22:02

Hang on - shame? Consternation?? No way! Nothing to be ashamed of!

CatChant · 23/09/2021 22:23

Whee!

So glad for you MoreLegs and hope poor DS is feeling brighter soon.

And you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be ashamed of. Revel and frolic to your heart's content!

Justilou1 · 24/09/2021 00:16

Sorry your son’s so unwell @MoreLegsThanMe! I think you need to consider A&E next time, unfortunately. I can imagine the Decree Nisi news must be wrenching also, but clearing…, Meanwhile, as for the new guy… (Assuming he doesn’t look like this 😳)

More Legs chapter three - the one where there’s a little light at the end of the tunnel
JustKittenAround · 24/09/2021 03:35

That’s how it should be sex wise.

I am very hopeful for your future.

Just remember this guy isn’t shit either until you decide he is. You get to decide now. You have the power.

Newestname002 · 24/09/2021 05:01

@MoreLegsThanMe

It sounds so sickening but I never knew a man could be so respectful and gentle. Asking over and over was I okay, am I alright, can I do this, can I do that. It’s just a completely different experience…

Hurrah! I'm so pleased for you that you have this lovely bright light.

Sorry about DS though. That must be distressing and agree with PP next step is A&E. 🌹

Onthedunes · 24/09/2021 12:05

What is it with GP's at the moment, no one can get into sugery to see them. I agree Legs if he worsens again take him to A and E.

I also expect the insurance is down to everything going up, paying for the cost of Covid I think, hang onto your hats with the energy prices.

On a better note I am so pleased you are being treated well by your new friend, you deserve it and it sounds as though he's quite appreciating.

Enjoy. Flowers

MrsPerfect12 · 25/09/2021 08:53

I haven't posted for a while but I had a good chuckle at your updates and felt I was cheering you along. You sound much happier and hopefully this is you coming out the other side and looking forward to a great future.

Justilou1 · 27/09/2021 00:59

How is your son @MoreLegsThanMe? Any answers?

MoreLegsThanMe · 28/09/2021 01:09

Thank you x

DS seemed so much brighter yesterday and wanted to go back to school today. He had no temperature and wasn’t complaining of any pain anywhere so in he went.

I’m pretty sure he’s had his first bout of flu. I’m not sure the age limit that Superdrug/Asda etc have for giving flu vaccine but as soon he’s old enough I’ll start getting him vaccinated every year. He’s already said he never ever wants to feel like that again, bless him.

It’s tomorrow he’s meant to have his braces fitted - I feel so so nervous for him! - and the orthodontist rang today to go through the usual Covid checklist. She seemed fine when I told her his PCR was negative but said she’s a little concerned about his lingering cough, just because it makes working in someone’s mouth harder. She’s just told me to remind him he can ask them to stop at any time if he needs to cough, or to have some water etc. She says she’ll also tell him that when he’s in the chair. It’s vanishingly unlikely he’ll allow me to go in with him, so I’ve my fully-charged Kindle at the ready and feeling a mixture of happy and guilty that I’ll get an hour off.

I had a text message tonight (number already deleted and blocked) saying I’m not getting my “fucking hands on any of our money”. Oh dear. Sounds like the CMS have been in touch and all is not so joyful at Beautiful Casa.

Mr NM has actually invited me away for a weekend next month, although he wants to keep where a secret for now. I just know I don’t need anything dressy, which is good because I don’t have anything dressy. I’m desperately excited already. STBXH never took me away for a single night all through the entire marriage.

There’s just one thing, and I really hope I don’t upset or offend anyone talking about it, but as I think you all know by now, I’ve nobody in real life to confide this in. As I’ve said, the sex so far with Mr NM is just completely, totally opposite to that with STBXH. It’s almost as if it’s two different activities it’s so different. I enjoy his pleasure so much, and I know it’s real not just “I’ll go ahead and blow myself up”. I have to be honest though, and say there are no orgasms for me. Mr NM had said it’s not surprising, it’s all so new, I need to learn to just trust him and forget everything else and let go, and then it’ll follow naturally.

Does this sound right to you? Everything else he says he seems to be spot-on, and (much like you lovely lot) he just knows me, if that makes sense.

I’ve tried to work out in my head what the problem is and I do think he’s 99% right. I have this 1% fear though that if I do orgasm with him I’ll somehow be “in his power”. That’s not the right analogy but I think I mean if it happens he’ll know everything about me, all my vulnerability, everything. I’m really not explaining this well, am I.

So is he right? Will it just happen if I relax totally and just let it take me over?

x

OP posts:
kikipie · 28/09/2021 10:38

Long time lurker here but just saw your last post and I think yes, he’s right. It may take time but relax and don’t make orgasm the focus, just enjoy whatever is enjoyable and it will probably happen spontaneously. Good luck!

Justilou1 · 28/09/2021 12:34

Yes it’s true that these things don’t happen at once… sometimes orgasms don’t happen “with” someone or “because” of someone. Sometimes it can take years. With your history, this may very well be your biggest obstacle, BUT… you are already relaxed enough to be enjoying yourself and finding pleasure. I think it will happen soon. As for being under his power, that’s ridiculous. Sex is lovely. It’s fun. It’s relaxing. It’s actually liberating, not enslaving.

Icanflyhigh · 29/09/2021 21:51

Oh legs I'm so happy that you're happy and excited to go away for a weekend with NM.
The sex stuff, don't worry about it, just let it happen naturally and it will. It sounds like Mr NM is unselfish and very considerate, so just enjoy it.

As for STBXH, flippin' ha ha! Ignore, let CMOptions do their thing - and they will, and please do next time he requests anything of you, mention that it is inconvenient for you as you are spending your precious spare time with your wonderful NM!! And take a picture of his face as pales.....
You are so strong, I'm very proud of you.

Also, if you feel a bit "meh" about stuff, go back and read your first post in January this year, and then the update from the other night - that will tell you exactly how far you have come!

SecretDoor · 30/09/2021 18:13

HRT?

Justilou1 · 01/10/2021 00:12

Actually, don’t discount that idea!

S111n20 · 04/10/2021 10:35

Amazing updates !!! So happy for you legs. Hope all goes well with your sons braces.

d15c4lcul14 · 05/10/2021 22:47

How are things OP?

Sitchervice · 07/10/2021 21:18

I hope your doing well legs. It seems things are brighter for you.

m1shap3 · 12/10/2021 14:04

Feel like something is missing lately without updates from Legs!
Hope you're ok Legs