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Original poster

More Legs chapter three - the one where there’s a little light at the end of the tunnel

999 replies

MoreLegsThanMe · 25/05/2021 22:41

New thread. Can’t believe I’ve got to three.

It’s a good chance I think that they’ll stick together, happy or not. They’ve given away absolutely everything (although she still sees her children) so they do need each other don’t they.

I have my fingers crossed for the marriage certificate tomorrow. I really believe he thinks I wouldn’t go ahead with it. I also think it might prompt a flurry of messages asking what he’s supposed to do. Bloody pay a solicitor that’s what you can do.

I think of the two of us I will come out the other side better than him. I have the support of his family, all the DC, and you wonderful women. He has her and that’s it. I don’t know about her family and I’m sure as can be that the pair of them have created yet another lie as the backstory to how they met. Can’t exactly tell the truth can they. ANC in a few short years he’ll be 70. Yuk.

It still doesn’t feel like I’ll be better off at the end but I’m hoping that feeling will come.

If anyone knows how to link this thread to the old one can you let me know please?

x

OP posts:
Thewookiemustgo · 06/07/2021 17:12

Yeah, I think you’re right. 😂😂😂😂

Thewookiemustgo · 06/07/2021 17:15

And oh my God auto correct changed ‘their’ to ‘there’ in my post. I need a lie down. 🤣

Justilou1 · 07/07/2021 07:12

Or the old MN 👍

Original poster
MoreLegsThanMe · 07/07/2021 23:08

Thank you x

There’s definitely something wrong - I tried to post an ( admittedly long, mostly self/pitying) last night. Hit post and the screen went wonky and the post disappeared. Unless the gremlins are sick of my moaning!

Main news today is that I had an email from the court containing both Acknowledgments of Service. Both admit the adultery and he’s agreed to pay costs. Big of him. Next stop Decree Nisi then I’ll sort the money out before applying for the Absolute. Just seems so clinical and quick to put an end to a 38-year marriage.

I don’t know how I feel. Upset mostly seeing in black and white their admitting what they’ve done. A suppose a small part of me wanted him to say no, please don’t do this.

But it’s done now and I’ve got through this part.

Tomorrow I go out with D. He’s also invited me to go up to the Northumberland coast on Friday. A week or so ago I would have said no, thank you. But now I feel, you know, fuck it. Let me do what I want to do for the first time since my eldest was born. I really have out everything into being a wife and a mother but I’m still inside somewhere and I’d like to start setting myself free a bit. Does that sound dramatic, or selfish?

Help me, my lovely army. Tell me what to do!

x

OP posts:
Thatnameistaken · 07/07/2021 23:11

Go for it! Nowhere is as good for the soul as the beaches of Northumberland, time to put yourself first and live a little!

bigbaggyeyes · 07/07/2021 23:13

I say go for it too. Have a bit of fun and be a little selfish for in ev

Newestname001 · 08/07/2021 00:53

Hear! Hear!!

Good luck to you, @MoreLegsThanMe. You are such a strong person and you deserve a better future than you've had a past. It starts here. 🌹

Justilou1 · 08/07/2021 01:36

Fly! Be free! It’s your turn now!!!

Billybagpuss · 08/07/2021 06:05

Bloody gremlins. Post reply take 2, it’s not just you legs.

Well done. I’m so pleased you’re off to Northumbria and a bit jealous as it’s been on my list for years but being in the SW it’s always just a bit too far and we end up in Cumbria instead. It’s absolutely the right thing to do and finding time for you to shine is what you are now able to look forward to. Especially as your dc are now of an age where they don’t need as much input.

It is actually good if the divorce can be fuss free and clinical, there are obviously going to be emotions at play but better if those stay private. In a way it’s a good thing you got that text as you got to see that you pissed them off, even just a little bit, and you got to control the starting off of the divorce.

Have fun rediscovering you.

JackieQueen · 08/07/2021 07:47

Definitely go and enjoy yourself, legs, you deserve it!Wine

doitwithlove · 08/07/2021 09:49

I am very proud of you @MoreLegsThanMe for issuing the divorce petition. They both rocked your and your kids world by having an affair whilst both married. I found looking back on my life from when you found out about the sffsir

doitwithlove · 08/07/2021 09:55

Affair was an eye opener to how far you how come since finding out originally.

Definitely join you friend on a trip on Sunday, don't miss out on a day out. Before you go, think about what boundary's you want to put in place.

Have a fantastic time whatever you choose to do x

Mumek · 08/07/2021 09:58

Enjoy your day at the Coast MoreLegsThanMe and kick off your shoes and paddle in the sea xx

Twitchynose · 08/07/2021 11:06

So text probably was from her then. I understand your feelings about them accepting your petition, it’s another concrete example of your relationship being over and the loss of your expected future, even though rationally you know there is no way back.
Definitely enjoy doing things that are good for your, going to the coast and spending time in the company of others. You can do this x

MrsPerfect12 · 08/07/2021 12:00

Go and enjoy yourself. You deserve it! Flowers

completelybanjaxed · 08/07/2021 14:06

Setting yourself free...
Sounds wonderful!

Go on the trip and enjoy X

Icanflyhigh · 08/07/2021 23:40

Go and enjoy your coast trip, be carefree, paddle in the sea and eat ice cream!!
Very proud of you. X

Onthedunes · 09/07/2021 12:57

Hope you had a good day with D yesterday and hope you accepted the coastal date today.

There's nothing like a trip to the coast to blow the cobwebs away.

Enjoy.

No more guilt Legs.

xx

Original poster
MoreLegsThanMe · 10/07/2021 07:44

Thank you x

Eventually we settled on a visit to his new flat and a lovely walk round the local park. The street STBXH grew up on adjoins the park and it was so so strange to walk past that part, stupid as it sounds.

In ways the park had changed beyond all recognition - I used to push DDs 1, 2 and 3 around there on sunny days and it brought all that back. Don’t laugh but I looked up at the big big old trees and thought Lord, you were standing all those years ago when I was happy. Look at what’s happened. I didn’t post that night because I didn’t get home til close on 11.00pm!

Two messages from Blow-It-Up-Bob yesterday asking if he could call round one day next week to “chat about the kids and money” and one confirming he’d received the Petition and returned the Acknowledgment of Service.

He’s apparently never stopped caring about and thinking about and loving the DC.

I replied just to say that as far as money goes he still has to pay once we’re divorced. The idiots probably thought they were off the hook after that. Morons. DC-wise I said what did he want to talk about- did he want to take them on holiday or something? That did make me smirk a bit because I knew in a million years he’d not want to do that. He said he wouldn’t introduce them to her DC he just wants to see them and do the things dads do with their DC. I told him he was welcome to contact them direct, that I’ve even encouraged them to keep on touch (which I have) but they’ve not forgotten his constant lying and then running away leaving me to tell them why. I said it’s maybe realises it’s best to understand this and let them go.

I was so nauseatingly nice you’d have been proud of me. I then warned them all he’d been in touch wanting them and the responses ranged from complete silence to bollocks and then fuck him!

I will message again probably today just to get it into his thick skull there’s no point in turning up here. I’m now in the habit of locking all the doors when I’m in on my own just in case he did try it.

D and I have arranged to meet on the 23rd after the conclusion of much boring sport. It’ll be the coastline then. There’s nothing to stop me staying over if I choose to !!!!

We speak on the phone every day. He’s a properly nice, nice man.

I’ll be back in evening message mode tonight just wanted to update you.

x

OP posts:
Billybagpuss · 10/07/2021 08:08

Well done, you can feel it is the beginning of happy for you.

Did he reply to the message about the dc x

completelybanjaxed · 10/07/2021 08:44

Well done lady, you handled BIUB (love this name) so well .. amazing..
happy for you. The little light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter for you and it's wonderful x

S111n20 · 10/07/2021 08:56

Blow it up Bob 😂 absolutely love it. So pleased you had a lovely time legs you deserve it.

Onthedunes · 10/07/2021 11:16

Call round to chat about the kids and money.

No, No, No.

It is no longer his home, Legs this would set you back and he knows this, it would upset you.

Tel him to contact the children direct, or tell him the children will nip round to his little lovenest. How would he like it if you turned up at his.

God no, he still wants to control his patches. He still believes he has power over the family home and the family. Keep him away from your house, this is divorce and separation, this is what it means for him to not have feet in different camps. Your house is for you, entertaining who you want and not feeling the pressure that he may just turn up, if you let him in he will rock up again I bet.

Please think about this, let the children see him on their own terms and away from the home.

Glad the day was lovely, I think there's a heatwave coming up, so they say, hope you get to go on some great days out, get planning.

xx

Twitchynose · 10/07/2021 12:56

Sounds like you’re setting some really good boundaries for BIUB. You’re doing amazingly!

S111n20 · 10/07/2021 13:39

@Onthedunes

Call round to chat about the kids and money.

No, No, No.

It is no longer his home, Legs this would set you back and he knows this, it would upset you.

Tel him to contact the children direct, or tell him the children will nip round to his little lovenest. How would he like it if you turned up at his.

God no, he still wants to control his patches. He still believes he has power over the family home and the family. Keep him away from your house, this is divorce and separation, this is what it means for him to not have feet in different camps. Your house is for you, entertaining who you want and not feeling the pressure that he may just turn up, if you let him in he will rock up again I bet.

Please think about this, let the children see him on their own terms and away from the home.

Glad the day was lovely, I think there's a heatwave coming up, so they say, hope you get to go on some great days out, get planning.

xx

Onthedunes is always spot on.